AITA for “announcing” that my dad’s not paying my college tuition?

A Reddit user recently shared their experience dealing with family questions about their college tuition. After choosing to fund their own education due to their father’s strict and controlling expectations.

They responded candidly when an uncle asked about the cost of their schooling, inadvertently embarrassing their dad. Read the story below for more details.

‘ AITA for “announcing” that my dad’s not paying my college tuition?’

My aunt and uncle are paying for my cousins college. My dad had a college fund for me, but he had stipulations like he wanted nothing below a B for grades and to pre approve any classes I take, weekly meetings to discuss grades and a bunch of other stuff. Which would be fine if you have a normal dad. Mine isn’t.

My dad has a temper and I spent 6th-12th grade stressed out about grades and being screamed at or grounded over things that sometimes weren’t even my fault like a teacher not updating online grading and an assignment being marked “missing” because of it.

And getting my back pack and locker randomly searched by him for no reason besides “to make sure I’m not hiding anything “. I decided to pay for school myself because of 1 not being stressed over getting screamed at 2 I didn’t feel like constantly worrying that he’d disapprove of a class or a grade and decide not to pay.

Which I could totally see him doing. I’d rather be in debt than controlled for 4 more years.. I just finished my first year. Well my family got together on the 4th and… well sometimes they’re nosey. They were talking about my cousins school and my uncle looked at my dad and said “well how much is – my name- school costing you?”

I said “what are you asking him for I’m the one paying for it?” Later on my dad was pissed off and said that it was out of line to say that and I embarrassed him. I didn’t do it to embarrass him, I was just being honest. He doesn’t even know how much tuition is so he was the wrong person to ask.. AITA

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

bmoreskyandsea −  NTA. So what if he was embarrassed. His emotions are not your to manage. You told the truth.

S**t, expand on it, “yeah, there were too many micro managing strings attached to accepting money that I didn’t want to relive my anxiety ridden high school years.” Also, your dad sound ridiculous and kinda scary. Maybe LC is the way to go.

rich-tma −  NTA it’s embarrassing to him that you hate his control so much you’d turn down college being paid. And rightly so: he should be embarrassed.

mimoo47 −  NTA. OP, it’s really admirable how you’re pursuing a college degree in spite of so many obstacles. I wish you best of luck!

JudgeJed100 −  NTA – it’s his own fault. He is the one who decided to be an a**hole about grades and stuff. Like Christ, it’s okay for a kid to mess up in a class at times

Saint_Thomas_More −  I’m going with NTA. That said, if I were you I would have totally waited to see what my dad said. If he made up some BS to try to impress my uncle I would have played the “How would you know?

I’m the one paying for it.”… At least given him the option of saying something like “*Your Name* decided to pay their own way.” and if he didn’t, throw him under the bus.

SlinkyMalinky20 −  NTA. Your dad is embarrassed because he wanted the social cache of paying for his kid’s college and he lost that with your answer.

Paying for your own education isn’t easy – you don’t owe it to anyone else to pretend that you aren’t doing it. Now if you answered “nothing because he’s a**sive and I’d rather bla bla bla” that would be an AH thing to do. But you didn’t do that.

Dull-Status5016 −  Nope, NTA. It’s the truth. You are paying for it. If that bothers him, he’s welcome to write the school bursar a check.

[Reddit User] −  Lol NTA, and how did your aunt and uncle react?

Bubbly_Satisfaction2 −  NTA. I feel like Daddy Dearest would’ve ended up feeling embarrassed, if OP *didn’t* speak up. For a controlling, tight-wad like him, he would’ve felt goofy if OP just *glared at him*.

youabuseyourpower −  This a flex post? Im tired of seeing these types of posts that are obviously meant to stroke their own ego. Am i am a**hole for doing literally nothing wrong?

Do you think the student handled this situation well, or was it too harsh on their father? How would you respond if faced with similar family expectations? Share your thoughts and experiences below!