WIBTA if I press charges on a 12 for accusing me?

A man (25M) finds his life shattered after his wife’s 12-year-old cousin falsely accuses him of a serious crime. Despite being cleared of any wrongdoing after an investigation, his reputation, relationships, and career were severely damaged.

Now, he’s considering pressing charges against the girl, her father, and others involved in defamation and destruction of property. However, his wife and mother urge him to reconsider, citing her young age. Read the full story below…

‘ WIBTA if I press charges on a 12 for accusing me?’

I (25m) met my wife (24f) around 4 years and the relationship was perfect in all ways we had many common interests we rarely argued our communication was great and even even our families got along great. My life was honestly great, I had a great job that I loved and we were even planning on starting a family soon. until my wife’s cousin C (12f) accused me of something horrible.

she always seemed to stick to me whenever I was around and I had tried to keep my distance as I know how that would look (I know it’s horrible but I didn’t want to risk it with my adult life barely starting) and her dad didn’t seem to trust me much.

Her accusation quickly spread and it flipped my world upside down, I was fired from my job my extended family cut me off and even my wife was sceptical about me, the only people who seemed to believe me were my immediate family and even then my brother didn’t want me around his kids.

A week after her accusation I was arrested and was kept in holding for over 2 weeks during which I was treated like crap and C’s father came to my house looking for me and basically broke everything inside. After I was released I contacted a lawyer to fight the charges aganist me, a proper investigation was done and 6 months after her accusing me I was deemed innocent but the damage was already done.

Everyone in our town shunned me, my friends cut me off and I lost my job and reputation. I am now in the process of pressing charges aganist C her dad and several other members of my wife’s family that blasted me on social media for defamation, destruction of property and more and I’m even considering filing for divorce.

my wife is telling me to reconsider saying that she is just a kid and did a stupid mistake and even my mom is telling me I shouldn’t be vindictive and that I got my job back so there’s no damage done but my dad has supported me fully in this which is creating problems between him and my mom.

Frankly, i don’t care the she’s a kid or what will happen to their family if I press charges she ruined my life, my reputation, my marriage and possibly even my future. I am barely holding it together and I have broken down crying many times and all the drama and my mom siding with her is destroying me even more.

I know it’s the right thing to press charges but all the people including my mom telling me she’s just a kid is making me doubt myself. Sorry for the long post I’m dealing with a lot and writing it out helps. so, random people of reddit wdibta if I continue with the charges ?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Environmental_Pay189 −  NTA. She not only wrecked your life, but false accusations undermine victims who report SA. This type of lying is i**olerable, and if it isn’t taken seriously she is likely to do it again. The type of person who would make up lies like that needs a hard lesson.. Press those charges.

AdAccomplished6870 −  She is a kid, so any consequence will either be wiped away when she turns 18(e.g. criminal record) or borne by her parents (e.g. financial settlement). So pressing charges will not ruin her life, but will certainly impact her. I have no problem with you holding that family accountable.

It is going to destroy your marriage, but I am pretty sure your marriage is already over. NTA, do what you have to do, and then leave town. Tell your mom that if she can’t support you in this, to let you know now, as you do not want anyone who you cannot count in your life.

Potato-Brat −  “No damage done”?? Is she nuts?? Sue the hell out of everyone who contributed to ruining your life. Edit to add: 2 rewards? Dang, thank you, kind strangers! Second edit: 9 rewards?! I am very flattered, thanks!

throwitaway3857 −  NTA. She’s 12 not 3. She knows right from wrong. Press charges. Divorce your wife too. She shouldn’t be defending the child, she should be defending you.

SmileyRaeRaaae −  She’s just a kid who almost convinced the entire town of something you’re innocent of. Charge them and don’t relent.

Much-Jackfruit2599 −  NTA.  12 years is old enough for FAFO.  Her father too, btw. Vandalism and threatening bodily harm is a felony. 

Unlikely-Ad5982 −  It will send a message to everyone else that not only were you totally innocent but also that their behaviour was unacceptable. The cousin made a conscious decision to falsely accuse you. And her family made a decision that they were above the law.

They, and everyone else needs to see the consequences of their actions. There would be fewer false allegations (reducing the amount of police time wasted and Improving the conviction rate for the true allegations) and people would think twice about dishing out their own punishment.

Affectionate_Life644 −  I am a teacher. Part of my work involves teaching this age group. I do think she needs legal consequences. She may decide to do it again. I think that a legal record of a conviction is appropriate.

Whether or not you decide to ask as the victim for a strong or lenient sentence is up to you but I do think in order to protect yourself and others there needs to be a conviction here. Ask your attorney what they think.

NefariousnessFresh24 −  NTA – do it. No matter what you do, no matter what evidence you bring, this will follow you for the rest of your life. Wherever you go, whatever you do, people will always think that you did it, and were lucky to get away with it.

This will not get you your life back. But it will at least hold them somewhat accountable. Don’t let bygones be f**king bygones. Get at least some vindication. (I never understood why “vindication” has positive connotations, while being “vindictive”, meaning trying to achieve vindication, is supposed to be bad)

Suffokateslowly −  Fake

Would pressing charges help him reclaim justice, or would it cause more harm than good given the girl’s age? Should he focus on rebuilding his life instead? Share your perspective below!