Me [24 M] with my gf [23 F] Girlfriend has princess syndrome

A Reddit user seeks advice on how to address his girlfriend’s unique and elaborate style of dressing, which resembles a fairytale princess. While he loves her creativity and passion, he’s concerned about how others perceive her and feels uncomfortable with the attention they receive in public. Read the full story below.

‘ Me [24 M] with my gf [23 F] Girlfriend has princess syndrome’

I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months. We’ve been casual friends since college, but only began dating after she graduated. We get along really well. When I say princess syndrome, I don’t mean that she is spoiled or entitled, because she isn’t. Her clothes seem to take over her life.

She dresses like a sort of fairytale princess on a near daily basis, excluding at work. Long, frilly skirts, lacey blouses, things like that. It works for her because she is very pretty and can pull it off. At first I found it to be very endearing, but then I became aware of how much time she spends on her outfits.

She runs a blog that has a sizeable amount of followers, and she is constantly posting outfit pictures, links to clothing items, and what not. She spends a few hours a day on her blog, at least. Then she spends time sewing items for new outfits or for her etsy store.

When we go out, we get a lot of stares at what she’s wearing. I’ve also caught people sneaking pictures of her on their cell phones. This attention makes me uncomfortable. I have asked her to tone it down a bit, but she took that to mean not wearing anything in her hair when we’re out together.

I have told her several times that I love her just the way she is, but she seems to brush it off. I had hoped when she started her new job in the career of her choice that she would become more serious, but her new boss and co-workers encourage her.

I worry that people won’t take her seriously, or miss how kind and intelligent she is. How can I talk to her about dressing more appropriately without hurting her feelings?.

See what others had to share with OP:

[Reddit User] −  Sounds like you have to get over your insecurities. This is her hobby, her interest, and she’s getting positive reactions. You shouldn’t be trying to change her, especially when it was something that initially drew you to her.

katelusive −  From your title, I thought this was going to be a post about how she’s entitled, spoiled, prissy, etc. Instead it’s just about how you don’t like the way she dresses.

That’s not a problem with her — it’s a problem with you. Repeat this to yourself in your head whenever you start feeling the urge to change her: “My gf is allowed to dress however she wants, just like I am”

hansSA −  Girlfriend dresses like a princess, how do I talk to her about it? You don’t, dummy. It’s been 5 months. Take it or leave it. This is who she is. It’s staggering to think that you knew this girl for years, dated her and chose to be in a relationship with her FULLY knowing this about her and NOW you want to change her. Ugh.

[Reddit User] −  She sounds awesome and rightly proud of her creativity. Why do you care what others think so much?

czhunc −  I have told her several times that I love her just the way she is. Then love her the way she is. Whatever you have to put up with when you’re with her, she has to put up with a hundred times over on a daily basis.

She’s interested in keeping up her appearance, and you don’t really have a good reason why she shouldn’t. Take a good look at yourself and figure out why you’re really feeling insecure.

wombatzilla −  I have told her several times that I love her just the way she is, but she seems to brush it off. I had hoped when she started her new job in the career of her choice that she would become more serious, but her new boss and co-workers encourage her.

So, you love her just the way she is but you’re assuming she’ll take that to mean she should change how she is? That doesn’t make sense. This IS how she is. She enjoys dressing up like this. S**t, she posts outfit photos online because she enjoys it so much. Other people encourage her because they DO like how she is.

If you don’t like the attention ask her sometime to just go out with you while she’s wearing a casual outfit, but keep in mind that she already loves what she’s normally wearing.

puhleez420 −  If you love her the way she is, why do you want her to change? Just curious.

RememberKoomValley −  Wow, ownership issues much? This is not what I expected when I read the title to your post. I expected someone who was being demanding, money-hungry, acting entitled to presents or attention that you didn’t have the means to give her…

and what I get is someone with her own well-developed joy, and the guy who wants to stomp all over it? she spends time sewing for her etsy store So she’s even making money off of it and you’re secure enough in your rights to her self-expression to act like this?

AND she’s even already altered her appearance for you, and that’s not good enough? Man, you sound like one of those guys who gets pissed when his girlfriend wears shorts after they’re an official couple. Break up with her, and let her find someone who actually appreciates her.

[Reddit User] −  It’s a hobby she enjoys and one that does not appear to have any repercussions. Either get over it or break up.

[Reddit User] −  She has FUN, in the most harmless way possible, and you want to ruin it for her. Don’t do this, or is your family name Grinch?

How do you strike a balance between supporting your partner’s individuality and addressing your own discomfort in a relationship? Should he embrace her passion, or is it reasonable to ask for changes? Share your thoughts below!

For those who want to read the sequel: