AITA for going no-contact with my parents after learning they had lied to me about my allergies all my life?

A 19-year-old Reddit user recently learned that their parents lied to them about being allergic to certain foods (dairy, wheat, and legumes) all their life. The user had followed a restricted diet for years, thinking they had serious allergies.

However, after eating food at their aunt’s house and later getting an allergy test, they discovered they had no allergies to those foods. When confronted, the mother admitted to lying in order to control the user’s diet and avoid temptations.

The mother justifies her actions by pointing to the user’s good health but refuses to acknowledge the harm done. The user now wonders if they are being ungrateful for being upset and going no-contact with their parents. Read the original post to see the full story.

‘ AITA for going no-contact with my parents after learning they had lied to me about my allergies all my life?’

Hey everyone. I am 19 years old and my parents are in their 50s. For as long as I can remember, I have been allergic to several things:. * Dairy. * Wheat/Flour/Gluten. * Legumes.

Since I was a young child, my parents have completely kept all of them out of our house. While other kids ate breakfast cereals, I ate fish and assorted pickled vegetables for breakfast. While other kids had Lunchables, I had grilled chicken or fish with, again, assorted vegetables (usually sweet potatoes). While other kids ate birthday cake at the birthday party, I had an apple.

I never questioned this until a couple of months ago. I was at my aunt’s house for my birthday party, and she made brownies for everyone. For me, she took great steps to make them with almond flour and avoided all of my allergies.

I started eating them and thought little of it until my aunt suddenly looked at me and, in a panicked way, asked which plate I took the brownies from. I pointed from the one where I got my brownies, and she immediately stood up and told me we had to get my EpiPen. She raced to ask my mother for it, and I sat there scared out of my mind because I had never mistakenly eaten flour before.

I noticed my mother had calmed her down, and then she said that we don’t have to worry because she had switched the plates of brownies, and after all I had eaten the ones made with almond flour. I found this incredibly odd because, really, why would she swap the plates? That doesn’t even make sense. But for the time being I let the issue rest.

It didn’t sit well with me for about a week and I finally went to get an allergy test. The doctor started with a skin p**ck test, and lo and behold, I didn’t react to any of the above substances. Then he ordered a blood test, and when the results came in, they said that I had absolutely no intolerance to any of the foods I’m supposed to be allergic to.

I was furious and called my mother. She eventually admitted that she lied to me because she wanted me to be on a paleolithic diet, and wanted me to be able to avoid all temptations. She raised me with a lie about her own health, but she keeps insisting that I try to see it from her perspective.

She spams my phone with messages about how healthy I am–that I never had acne, that I have been in great shape my whole life, that I have strong teeth and bones, and even that I got onto a D1 college tennis team.

She has started calling me ungrateful for her intervention and insisting that I really should be glad I never got “carb addicted.” I don’t know what to think. I carried around an EpiPen for all those years–one that I suspect may be fake seeing as my mother never got me to replace it–and I don’t even know anymore. Am I the a**hole and an ungrateful son for losing it over this?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

weewooooooooo −  NTA- You spent your entire life thinking that you could easily die because your mom wanted you on a special diet??? Allergies are incredibly serious and while you can grow out of them, to be lied to is unnecessary. What your mom did was m**ipulative and poor parenting. She easily could have had you on a diet like that without lying and making you fear for your life.

soullessginger93 −  NTA. Also, tell your aunt about your mom’s lie. She should know that your mom made her put in extra effort for who knows how many times, and caused her to go into a panic about you potentially having an allergic reaction, when in reality your mom had lied about your allergies.

I feel bad your aunt went through that. What your mom did was so terrible. She needs to face the consequences for her actions. Cut contact until she understands just how bad her actions were.

Shadow-Girl-2006 −  NTA. Your mom sounds like those vegan/vegetarian people who don’t feed their dogs/cats meat

RollingKatamari −  NTA-please try out cheese, you won’t regret

SomethingComesHere −  No, you’re NTA, and you may want to check out a subreddit called r/raisedbynarcissists, you might find the support you need to get through this 🙂

DesertEagleBennett −  Absolutely positively not the a**hole. She can’t raise her kid on a lie and expect him to be on with it, no matter how you turned out. You missed out on sweets as a kid and Lunchables, which are wonderful. And I feel like she lied about switching the plates just to calm her down. She wouldn’t have known which plate you were gonna eat from.

justmy2centsforyou −  NTA. That could even be described as Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP) what your mother did. To maintain such a lie for so long. Wow. But oh my, you get to try all the cheeses now! And legumes! You shall feast

UncleFredP00P −  NTA she lied while probably extolling the virtues of truth, some insight and acknowledgment from her about that would do wonders, but seeing that she doubled down based on her giving you no credit for the positives you have achieved through you own actions and not because she lied to you AND seeming to shame you for not being grateful: she’s the a**hole.

Quicksilver1964 −  NTA. She did not need to do this. Many people grow on different diets and food restrictions without needing to be lied to. It’s not about temptation, it’s about education. If she went so far as to always make food and desserts that didn’t have the things she told you are allergic, she didn’t need to lie.

Now you know the truth and not only ruined your relationship with her, erased all trust you had on her, it will also make you consume everything you couldn’t. And I say, go for it! Choose your own diet and keep away for some time. Now that she doesn’t control this part of you anymore, she can get a little crazy.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. The end does not justify the means.

Do you think the Redditor’s anger and decision to go no-contact are justified, or do you think their parents had good intentions even if they went about it the wrong way? Is it ever acceptable for parents to lie to their children in order to control their habits, or does trust get broken beyond repair in situations like this? Share your thoughts on how you would have reacted if you were in their shoes.