AITA for ending my marriage because my partner wanted to make it an open one?** ?

A woman reflects on her decision to end her four-year marriage after her husband suggested opening up their relationship. She had always been monogamous and felt uncomfortable with his request. Despite his insistence, she chose to respect her boundaries, which led to the end of their marriage. Now, her friends and family are divided on whether she should have compromised or if she was right to walk away. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for ending my marriage because my partner wanted to make it an open one?** ?’

My husband and I had been married for four years. Our relationship had its ups and downs like any other, but I always believed we had a strong bond and shared vision for the future. However, a few months ago, my husband brought up the idea of opening our marriage.

He said he loved me deeply but felt we could spice things up by exploring connections with other people. we had not even stayed together that long that we needed that. He claimed it wasn’t about lacking anything in our relationship but about growth and exploration, Huh.

I was shocked. I’ve always been monogamous, and we had never discussed anything like this before, even while dating. When we got married, we promised to be committed to each other. This felt like a betrayal of those vows to me. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but he kept bringing it up, insisting it could strengthen our relationship.

Eventually, he said he would respect my boundaries but admitted he might end up resenting me later for holding him back. That statement crushed me. It became clear that we were no longer on the same page about something fundamental. I didn’t want to stay in a marriage where I’d always feel like I wasn’t enough or worry about future resentment. So, I decided to end it.

Since then, he’s been telling friends and family that I gave up on us too quickly. Some of our mutual friends think I should have tried harder to compromise or even give the open marriage a shot, while others are supportive of my decision. Now I’m left wondering AITA for ending my marriage over this?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Cute-Profession9983 −  Anyone telling you to open the marriage to give it a shot isn’t a mutual, they’re HIS friends. No one who is actually your friend would tell a monogamous person that they need to stay married to someone who wants to bang other people.

Heraonolympia123 −  You can’t compromise on this: you are either monogamous or you’re not. I think you did the right thing as every argument would be “well, if you’d have let me sleep with other people, I wouldn’t have done xyz.” NTA 

NefariousnessFresh24 −  You do realize that to him “open marriage” means he gets to f**k around all he wants, while still having you on the side, but the moment you actually found somebody he’d be all for closing it off again?

And sorry, you are not the one “giving up on the marriage”, he is the one who does not take his vows seriously. NTA, and give him the choice: either the two of you go to marriage counseling, or the marriage becomes so open that it is nonexistent.

-KristalG- −  NTA. Likely he is already cheating or at the very least is in an emotional affair.

Flat_Ad_7911 −  To me an open marriage is like cheating

Recent_Body_5784 −  How disgusting to enter into a contractual marriage with somebody without ever having spoken about that before hand. I had a boyfriend once and three years into the relationship, he casually mentioned that if he ever lost s**ual attraction for me, he wouldn’t break up with me, of course, but he would just have to start sleeping with other people.

He acted dumbfounded when I got upset about that statement, as if it was just obvious that at some point you’re going to sleep with other people even in a committed relationship and that it was obvious I would just have to accept that.

What was crazy is that he was really jealous, and was completely unaccepting of infidelity in any way shape or form, but somehow this was totally different and just went without saying for him. We are no longer together, obviously, but escaping that relationship was like overcoming Stockholm syndrome.

plantprinses −  Open marriages never work if one of the spouses isn’t on board because if that’s the case ‘spicing things up’ is just a way of saying ‘I want to sleep around without any consequences’.

And even if both spouses are up for the challenge, what you will see often is that one spouse is more ‘successful’ than the other and this will breed resentment later on. Also, there is of course the possibility that a real relationship does evolve with someone outside the marriage.

It really doesn’t matter what your friends and family think: have any of them been told that their spouse wants to start seeing other women/men? Do they know how that feels? You did the right thing. You have to live with yourself for hopefully a long time: don’t set yourself up for heartbreak.

PettyPapaya −  It’s fake. Learn to recognise the pattern of writing. It’s the only way we will be able to stop the AI

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. He wants an excuse to cheat. I dont share so it would be a deal breaker. Easy for other pple to have an opinion when its not them.

Nefroti −  NTA. I expect an update from OP that he was cheating already. Anyone who is telling you to give open marriage a shot or compromise are not right in the head.

As a guy who is 100% monogamous I would have ended my relationship as soon as a girl even suggested opening our relationship. You did the right thing OP, f**k the people who are calling you unreasonable.

Do you think the woman made the right decision by ending the marriage, or should she have tried to compromise with her husband? How would you handle a situation where your values differ so drastically from your partner’s? Share your thoughts below!