AITA For kicking my friend out of my house after what she did?

A Reddit user shared a heated encounter with a long-time friend, Kate, who crossed a significant boundary during a dinner party. Despite her good intentions to help him “move on” after the loss of his wife, her actions—locking his 11-year-old son in a room to hide his existence from a potential date—led to an explosive confrontation.

The fallout left the user questioning whether he was in the wrong for kicking her out. Want to know the full story? Read below

‘ AITA For kicking my friend out of my house after what she did?’

My M36 wife passed away 2 years ago. I have a 11 year old son named Sean. I’m doing okay with money. I have a stable income and support system. I have a friend named Kate we’ve been together since we were kids.

She’s like a sister to me although she tends to boss me around. She’s introduced me to her female friends hoping that I’ll settle down again. I told her I have other priorities and I’m required to focus on Sean and his health (he’s diabetes).

Kate thinks there’s something wrong with me but Not everyone’s circumstances the same. I started noticing a pattern in her behavior after she introduced me to a friend of hers.

She’d tell me to leave Sean at home when we hang out and meet her friends. She’d tell me to take down any pictures that have my son and wife in it because ladies will “assume” that I’m a single dad or still married and that’d limit my chances in dating. I told her to knock it off.

And she said that she was looking out for my “social” life saying I’m ruining it and exhausting myself. I stopped talking to her for days. Then I decided to let it go. She’s been insisting on bringing her friend to visit me with other friends.

I agreed to have them as guests. Kate suggested I take Sean to stay with a relative since it’ll be adult dinner but I refused. He was comfortable in his home and didn’t wanna go. Kate was at my place before her friends arrived. I checked on Sean and told him to tell me if he needed anything before he went to sleep.

At 12:30 while I was sitting and just starting to chat with Kate’s friend while Kate kept blinking at me with a smirk on her face. I got a text message from Sean telling me he wanted to use the bathroom but the door handle was stuck and he couldn’t open the door. I went upstairs to check. Kate followed me. I found that the door was actually locked.

I was confused I asked Sean and he said he didn’t lock it. I started looking for the key that’s when Kate quietly handed it to me saying she took it. I was stunned.

I opened the door for Sean then I asked her why she locked the door she said that lied to her friend about me not having kids and didn’t want her to see Sean. She said it was no big deal since he was sleeping but I was furious. I started yelling at her as she kept shushing me. Everyone started leaving after I yelled at Kate and cussed her out for doing this.

She blew up after her friend left and said I was an i**ot cause most people don’t mention kids until after months into dating. And that I didn’t deserve her help to move on when she thought I was a decent “sane” person.

I called her stupid and told her to get out of my house. She told me to wallow in my misery and left. Then her friends kept blaming me for making a scene and treating Kate like that especially since she cooked dinner and helped a lot.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

estabern −  What the actual f**k!!!! NTA and you won’t find anyone saying otherwise. Who locks a kid inside a room? and behind their parent’s back too. You need to cut off Kate completely;

She doesn’t understand “NO”, wants you to pretend your son doesn’t exist and is spewing off lies about dating etiquette. You absolutely need to disclose if you have children or not from the beginning. She told me to wallow in my misery and left.

No friend says that. She’s the miserable one. Focus on yourself and your kid and do whatever is best and comfortable for both of you.

Duukt −  NTA. She basically wanted you to pull a bait-and-switch on any prospective partners and we all know that’s an AH thing to do.

bossygothgirl −  NTA.. I’m sorry for your loss.. What Kate did is inexcusable. She literally locked your child in their room in their own home in a bid for control.. Absolutely not. You need to burn the whole damn apron, not just cut the strings..

What if there had been a fire?Cut Kate out of your life for good. Endangering your child’s welfare is not a way to help you or move on from your wife’s untimely passing.

kruzin2244 −  NTA. Your friend is showing the behavior of a p**cho. Who locks a kid in their bedroom? Why is she so obsessed with you dating? You are only 36 yo and still grieving.

It is not a good idea to lie about your kid, if they can’t handle you having a kid then clearly they aren’t the one for you. I know you and Kate have been friends for awhile but no way would I let her around my son again.

ANBU_Black_0ps −  NTA. because ladies will “assume” that I’m a single dad. But you *are* a single dad. You and your kid are a package deal and any woman who wants a romantic future with you needs to that upfront. Kate trying to pull a bait and switch makes her a s**tty friend to both you and her other friends she trying to set you up with.

MsBaseball34 −  NTA and OMG. She locked your child in his room??? WTF?? What if there had been a fire? Cut her out of your life – she is not really your friend, and she’s a horrible person to have around your child.

[Reddit User] −  NTA – Kate endangered Sean’s life by locking that door. If there had been a fire or carbon monoxide or an intruder, he might not have been able to get out in time if he had to text you and wait for you to come upstairs.

miladyelle −  NTA—for reference? If I were Kate’s friend that she was trying to set you up with? I’d drop her like a hot potato. Locking a child in his room, and telling his dad, his WIDOWED dad, he needed to hide his child to get a woman—is disgusting behavior someone with such a lack of character I would not be interested in spending a lick of my time with.

ALSO FOR REFERENCE, the courtesy is to tell a woman you’re a dad on the first date, but not let them meet your child for a while, because kids need stability. It’s to protect the child, not to get the woman in the bag before she knows you have a kid.

Her way would only get you women you wouldn’t want coming within a mile of your child, because they’d be heinous, just like her. I’m so sorry. You deserve a better friend. Might I recommend r/daddit and r/singledads for some company?

wind-river7 −  NTA. She is someone that should be in your rear view mirror, a part of your past. I was a single mom for several years and everyone that I met, learned that I had a daughter. I didn’t allow them to meet her, but they knew that she existed.

PARA9535307 −  NTA. But Kate sure is. Let’s recap: 1. You told her you’re not ready to date yet, but she completely ignores your wishes and persists in trying to set you up anyway.

2. Believes your son to be some kind of liability, and that you should be be hiding him away like you’re ashamed of him??
3. Sets you up with women who she believes would *also* find your son to be a liability, and your widower status to be somehow shameful??

4. Believes you should actively *deceive* these women. Because in her eyes, apparently *that’s* a totally fine thing to do, *and* because you’re apparently “not good enough” to date otherwise?

5. Has no qualms *locking your kid in his room* (or out of the bathroom? not totally clear which is was, though it’s not like it matters because it’s perfectly d**adful either way) to further her efforts to deceive these women on your behalf, without a *shred* of regard to your son’s health, safety, or happiness.

6. Thinks there’s *nothing wrong with any of the above*. So much so, in fact, that *she* yelled at *you* afterwards for not just going along with all her morally bankrupt, heinous machinations. So, yeah, I realize you’ve known this woman for a long time, but *what the ever-loving hell are you doing* letting her anywhere *near* you or especially your son?!

Was the Redditor justified in his reaction to his friend’s actions, or should he have handled the situation differently? Do you think Kate overstepped her boundaries, or was she just trying to help in her own way? Share your thoughts and perspectives in the comments below!