Went through her phone last night 25f and 28f Do I tell her what I found?
A Reddit user shared their emotional turmoil after going through their partner’s phone and discovering hurtful messages and possible infidelity. The user, who had never done this before.
Found their partner mocking heartfelt texts, laughing at insults about their appearance, and flirting with an ex. Now, they’re unsure whether to confront their partner or how to proceed. Read the original story below:
‘ Went through her phone last night 25f and 28f Do I tell her what I found?’
I’m (25f) at work today, still shaking from last night. I went through her phone while she was asleep. (28f). I don’t know where to go from here. I really trusted her overall and only had tiny doubts. I’ve been lied to in a relationship before and I regretted blindly trusting in the past, so I looked through a partners phone for the first time in my life last night.
I’ll list the things that I saw, in order: – Her best friend and her making fun of a heartfelt text i sent when we were having issues, calling me a b**ch
– That same best friend making fun of my appearance, and her laughing
– A screenshot of her flirting with this guy on instagram and her asking for him to fly her out to see him (I checked instagram and there was flirting going back to when we first started dating, they had previously been together)(it could be a joke? but he was also liking thirst traps that she posted on her close friends and calling her sexy)
I had a panic attack last night and didn’t get any sleep. I will be reading and responding to every reply, I don’t know how to deal with this. Do I tell her what I saw?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
giag27 − Why are you even with this person? It looks pretty clear to me what her intentions and her true feelings are. I’m sorry Op, confront or not, you should be out. Good luck.
CanuckGinger − Just tell her it’s not working for you, end it and walk away. Don’t waste your time on confessing the snooping. She’s clearly a POS.
Upbeat_Money18 − Why bother with the argument. Just leave, go no contact and move on with your life. You don’t owe her an explanation or the energy of a fight, because 100% you’ll be gaslit into it being your fault for looking.
LEARN & KNOW YOUR WORTH!! You deserve friends & partners that you can trust & that defend your name in a room you’re not in….not ones that fuel the fire & laugh or call you foul names. she showed you who she is BELIEVE HER!!
vaydevay − Even if she wasn’t cheating, she sounds really mean.
m0nst8r − She’s not the one for you
cp1390 − She doesn’t act like she respects you. Especially talking smack about you with her friend
Appropriate_Power116 − When one feels the need to start going through phones, the relationship is already over
Direct_Commission492 − Why would you give this person any more of your time? You saw clearly what they feel for/about you. You saw it with your own eyes in their own words. Time to shut that door and move on.
Reinefemme − i’d go full ghost honestly. this is egregious and there’s no way up. she doesn’t respect you. she’s actively cheating.. why do you want to stay?
20150711 − RUN
Should the Redditor confront their partner about what they found, or would addressing the relationship’s deeper issues be a better approach? How would you handle discovering such information about someone you trust? Share your thoughts and advice below!