AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend because she literally told me she would chest on me if I took a new job ?
A man had an opportunity to switch to a job with a much higher salary, but it required him to be overseas for four months at a time. His girlfriend was unhappy about the extended separation, hinting she might need “human company” during his absence, implying infidelity.
When he decided to break up, she denied intending to cheat and claimed he misunderstood her. Now, she’s trying to win him back, but he’s unsure he can trust her. Read the original story below…
‘ AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend because she literally told me she would chest on me if I took a new job ?’
I know this is going to come across as first world problems. I am currently at a job where I earn about $250,000 a year. I have an opportunity for a job where I will get $640,000 a year. The caveat being that the new job is overseas. I will be gone for four months at a time instead of four weeks at a time.
My girlfriend is unhappy. She says that she doesn’t want me gone for that long. That she will get lonely. I tried to explain that I will only be doing this job for one or two years. And that the money I make sets us up for a bright future. We can pay off all out debts. We can buy a house. We can travel on my off time.
She then said that she doesn’t care about any of that and that if I’m gone for that long she might need company. I didn’t understand at first and I said that we could get the dog she has been wanting to get. She said she meant human company.
I said that she had lots of company at work and at school and she was welcome to use our place to socialize all she wanted. She then spelled it out because I was stupid to think she was a decent human. She said that she wasn’t going to go for months without s**. I said I completely understood and broke up with her.
She is going crazy right now. She is at her sister’s house and calling me and texting constantly. She says that I misunderstood and that she would never cheat on me.
Like I said I’m gone for a month at a time now so I’m pretty sure she’s been “lonely” before. I can’t trust her and I’m not going to try and build a future with someone who can’t think about plans.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
josrios3 − Bro for $600K I’d be faithful to you! 😂
United-Material6595 − Finally, someone on here who believes the person when they tell them exactly who they are.
kaz_8712 − I know this is out of context , but op would you mind telling me what job/position pays that much amount and in which country?. I am just curious.
Mr_Coco1234 − GF: If you choose the job, I’ll choose human contact. OP: Okay you do that because Im breaking up.. GF: *Surprised Pikachu Face . What did she think would happen? NTA.
[Reddit User] − NTA. Better off single if your going overseas, trust me. Something that, for example, people in the military learn the hard way. Its not easy.
KittiesLove1 − That reminds me a joke, a newly wed husbend tells his wife his rule – every night I’m going to the bar, it doesn’t matter if you’re there or not – I will be at the bar! And she says, I also have a rule, every evening I’m having s**. It doesn’t matter if you’re there or not, at night I’m having s**!
RandomReddit9791 − NTA. Either she genuinely meant what she said and she’d cheat or she tried to emotionally manipulate you. Either way, she showed you her true colors and its great that you walked away.. Congrats on your new opportunity.
Acct_For_Sale − Dude, you’re about to pull $640k/yr…I’m a dude but f**k it I’ll be your girlfriend
SnoopyisCute − NTA for following Dr. Maya’s Angelou’s sound advice. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”. Good luck with your new job and leaving without any burdens.
stargal81 − It sounds like she hasn’t been happy with the current arrangement, so being away for longer will only make her more miserable. People are missing that you’ll be gone “4 months at a time, for 1 or 2 yrs” , which we all know probably means for longer than that.
Some things are worth more than money. Like companionship, intimacy, love. And yes, most happy relationships include a healthy, active s** life. She probably doesn’t want to keep putting her life & future on hold, because her partner is barely present.
What if she wants to get married, have kids, settle down? Have you made a commitment to her? Have you talked about getting engaged in the near future? How does she know it will be worth all the sacrifice in the end? People get lonely.
And the only thing worse than being alone, is being in a relationship & still *feeling* alone. At this point, you have different life goals, & are incompatible. It’s for the best that the relationship ended, as hard as that may feel right now. You’re NTA, but neither is she.
ETA no one seems to bring up if *he* will also be going without s** for 4 months at a time, for 2 yrs. God knows what he’ll be doing with all his free time when his gf is nowhere near him. He seems fixated on the idea that as long as he pays her student loans, she should be grateful to be locked into a sexless relationship.
Was he justified in ending the relationship?
