AITA for not carrying my wife’s stuff into the house?
A Redditor shared a story about an argument with his wife after she asked him to carry her luggage and some cases of soda into the house after returning from a trip. He offered to help but felt it was unfair to be expected to handle everything alone, which led to a heated response from his wife. Read the full story below to see if you think his stance was reasonable.
‘ AITA for not carrying my wife’s stuff into the house?’
My wife got home from my daughters after a couple of day stay over to spend time with the grandkids. She came in the house and said “There are 5 cases of soda and my suitcase you need to bring in.” My response was “I’ll help you bring them in but I’m not your servant.”
She was immediately incensed saying “You are not doing anything and I have to get my computer set up and get ready for a conference call. You are so s**fish!” IN the past she has asked me a couple of times to clean the interior and wash and wax her car for her (usually after seeing me cleaning my own vehicle) and I’ve said each time that I would be happy to help her but I’m not doing it myself.
My parents always preached the the person driving the vehicle is responsible for taking care of it. I do get her car in for periodic professional maintenance and any dealer service but I expect her to help in generally keeping it clean and looking nice.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
[Reddit User] − ESH – You both sound insufferable.
ptw97 − ESH. You both communicate poorly. She sounds e**itled, you sound rigid.
777joeb − If you can’t do things for your wife without her needing to help you’re an AH. If she regularly makes demands instead of asking nicely she is an AH.. ESH.
StAlvis − INFO. The heck are you going to do with ALL THAT soda?
Master_Post4665 − Does she make meals for you? Do your laundry without saying “I’m not your servant?” How have you stayed married so long when you don’t seem to like each other?
Eugenides − I’m going to go with NTA. I mean, with only the vaguest hint of how your relationship actually is, it sounds exhausting. The way this should have played out is your wife starting with the fact that she’s busy and has to do something really quickly, and asking if you could please help her.
Maybe you should have had more grace and been more willing to help, but her jumping straight to anger after being demanding just feels like neither of you really communicates well.
Ask yourself if this is as exhausting for you as it sounds to us, then ask if you honestly believe that you genuinely care about your wife and are willing to mildly inconvenience yourself to make her happy. Then ponder if you think she feels the same. The answers to those questions should give you some insight.
cappuccinohorses − “Please” and “thank you” go a long way, as does offering to do nice things for your partner.
GoodbyeBlueMonday24 − Dumbest. Fight. Ever.
No_Roof_1910 − Y’all have been together way too long for something like this to be an issue NOW. No way the two of you haven’t worked through s**t like this a few decades ago.
Victor-Grimm − NTA-No you are not a servant but a partner and husband. My wife never demands but asks. 99% of the time I will do as asked. My Ex-Girlfriend tried this crap with me even after asking to not demand but ask for assistance. That is why she is an ex.
Do you think the Redditor was fair in offering to help but not take full responsibility, or should he have handled the task without complaint? How would you balance supporting a partner while maintaining mutual responsibility? Share your thoughts below!
