WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?

A Reddit user grapples with a heartbreaking revelation: their wife wants to send their gay son to a conversion camp. Faced with the moral and emotional fallout.

They’re torn between preserving their marriage for their daughter’s sake and standing firmly in support of their son. Read the full story below to delve into this intense family dilemma.

‘ WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?’

So, this is a pretty heavy situation, and I’m really confused and disgusted ngl cause I never thought my wife was like this. My wife (44F) and I (45M) have been married for 14 years. We have two kids a 16-year-old son (let’s call him Noah) and a 12-year-old daughter.

We’ve had our fair share of disagreements over the years ofc, but things have generally been smooth between us. Now for the context Noah came out as gay about a year ago. It was a surprise, and as hard as it was to accept, I love my kids more than anything and just want their happiness.

My wife visibly didn’t take it well tho. She was upset and seemed to go through a grieving period where she didn’t really talk about it. I tried to support Noah in every way I could, telling him that I loved him no matter what etc. My wife, though… I could tell she wasn’t on the same page.

She would say things like “this is just a phase” or “he needs help” but I brushed it off as her needing time. Fast forward to last week, and we were having a conversation about Noah’s future. Out of nowhere, my wife casually mentions that she’s been looking into “conversion therapy camps” and thinks it might be the right solution.

She said that Noah isn’t truly gay, that he just “hasn’t been shown the right path” and that this could “fix him.” My blood ran cold obv I was in shock. I immediately told her I didn’t agree and that this was not something I could support (duh)

She got upset and said I was enabling Noah’s “confusion” and that if I really cared about him, I would help him “get better.” wtf is wrong with her. She was persistent, and no matter how much I tried to explain that conversion therapy is harmful (like I know those kids get abused, r\*ped.

And often end up either traumatized or killing themselves) and that I would never send our son to something like that, she wouldn’t back down. If I’m being 100% honest I don’t even think I love her anymore. The fact she could be so heartless disusts me.

I know being gay is not easy and people like her just make it even harder. I’m considering staying, only for our daughter’s sake but would it be ok if it means hurting my son? it feels like a betrayal to Noah. I just don’t think I can keep living with someone who thinks this is okay

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

CollywobblesMumma −  NTA 100%. Noah is not broken, there is nothing to fix. Those conversion camps are hell on earth and any parent who wants to send their child to one doesn’t deserve to be a parent.

Make sure you include it in the conditions of custody that it is absolutely not permitted – depending on where you are located it might even be grounds to go for full custody. Buckle up, OP – your fight for your children’s rights and wellbeing is just beginning.

AdAccomplished6870 −  Conversion therapy camps should be illegal (they are in some states). They are child abuse, 100%. Your wife will destroy your son if you don’t do something.

He made the brave decision to come out, and she is wanting to torture him because she can’t accept it. You would be TA 10000% if you don’t get him away from her

WorstAdviceEva −  Your wife needs to go to a camp that makes her less of a c***. No, you’re NTA.

Trailsya −  Wow, you’re a great parent.. Your wife is scum.. NTA. Keep standing up for your kid against that evil m**on.

throwitaway3857 −  Staying for your daughter’s sake!!!! WTF?!?? What about your SON?!?! NTA!!! Divorce her and get full custody immediately!!! Of both kids.

Tell the judge you fear crazy pants will turn your daughter against your son and raise her to be a bigot like her. Also, if you get any of her nonsense in writing (get it in text), save it! Don’t tell her you’re going to use it in court. Conversion camps should be illegal. It’s so disgusting.

silverboognish −  NTA. Please DO NOT send your son to conversion therapy because of your wife’s heartlessness.

Slutty_Skye −  NTA. Thank you for actually caring about your kids. My honest opinion is to talk to a lawyer immediately. You need to divorce her and go after full custody. She clearly isn’t a good mom and both of your kids deserve better.

Noah especially needs you right now. Speaking from experience, it’s not easy being a teenager and part of the LGBTQ+ community, especially when you know your parents don’t accept you. Keep being the kind and loving parent. Your kids will thank you.

Beginning-Goal-8286 −  NTA. First off, good for you for supporting your son. He is lucky to have a parent that supports him, and it will make a huge difference in his mental health and well being. Secondly, your wife is in denial and completely delusional.

This can’t wait any longer. If your wife is watching doomsday, anti-gate hate videos about conversion therapy every night, it’s hard for her to take a step back and consider other possibilities. You could divorce her, and fight for custody of the kids, but she would likely push to have primary custody of her daughter.

I don’t see this as something that will be resolved without professional support. I recommend a family counselor . Find one that specifically focuses on LGBTQ+ family dynamics. Also, look up local LGBTQ+ organizations and support groups.

I’m positive that there is another parent in one of those groups that may have initially felt and thought what your wife is feeling, even if it seems very extreme. I recommend your wife get her own counselor to process her own emotions.

Of course, your son will also need a lot of support, as I can’t imagine how painful this is for your son. Marriage counseling can also happen when you all find a path forward.

Gotd4mit −  NTA. Also, in my state at least, his age will give his choice of preferred residential parent a lot of weight. So there is a solid chance he will be safe after the divorce.

Historical-Goal-3786 −  NTA. Do not stay with a homophobe for your daughter’s sake. Leave for both of their sakes. And take them with you.

Would leaving the marriage be the right choice to protect Noah, or is there still room to bridge the gap for the sake of the family? How would you approach a situation where your partner’s beliefs threaten your child’s well-being? Share your advice and thoughts below!