WIBTA if I didn’t let my daughter (15F) go to Orlando even though she paid for it?
Your daughter, Ella, worked hard to earn her share for the Orlando band trip by babysitting and saving money. However, her recent behavior—bullying a classmate with a mental illness—has cast a long shadow over her achievements. Although she paid for half of the trip, her actions have understandably made you question whether she deserves to participate in an experience meant to celebrate teamwork, respect, and personal growth.
‘WIBTA if I didn’t let my daughter (15F) go to Orlando even though she paid for it?’
Family therapists and educators emphasize that actions have consequences, particularly when they harm others. Dr. Laura Markham, a specialist in family dynamics, notes, “When a child engages in harmful behavior like bullying, it’s crucial to enforce consequences that help them understand the impact of their actions on others.
This isn’t about punishing them financially or stripping away earned rewards—it’s about teaching them empathy and responsibility.” (https://www.ahaparenting.com) Your decision to restrict her from the trip can be seen as a disciplinary measure designed to help her learn that privileges come with expectations of respectful behavior.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
The Reddit community largely supports your stance. Commenters have pointed out that while Ella worked hard for her money, her conduct has serious ramifications, and the trip is considered a privilege rather than an entitlement. Many agree that the consequence of missing the trip is a fair lesson in accountability,
emphasizing that her behavior not only affects her reputation but can also harm others. Some suggest alternative consequences, like increased supervision during future outings, but the overall sentiment remains that her actions warrant a meaningful repercussion.
Ultimately, your decision to withhold the trip as a consequence for Ella’s bullying behavior is aimed at teaching her that actions have repercussions. While it’s difficult to deny her an experience she helped pay for, it’s equally important to send a clear message about the values you expect her to uphold.
How do you balance rewarding hard work with enforcing accountability when actions hurt others? Have you or others faced similar dilemmas, and what outcomes did you find effective? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.