WIBTA if I bagged up all my mums clothes and dropped them at her house when I next visit?
A woman considers bagging up and returning her mother’s belongings after repeated visits left her home cluttered with her mom’s clothes, despite her requests not to leave anything behind. Space is tight in her three-bedroom house, which she shares with her partner and toddler.
Her mother’s dismissive response made her feel justified in returning the items, though she worries it may be seen as rude. read the original story below…
‘ WIBTA if I bagged up all my mums clothes and dropped them at her house when I next visit?’
For context my mum visits for around 3/4 days about 1/2 a year. Every time she visits she leaves more of her stuff. I have a three bed house. 1 for me and partner, 1 for my toddler and a spare room/office and we both WFH. It’s not a large house and we do struggle with storage which is why I’ve gradually been clearing out and decluttering.
With this is mind I did ask my mum to not leave any more stuff and my house. But her response was ‘it wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t a slob and I need to make space for her stuff’. My partner suggested I bin her stuff like she did with all of my stuff I couldn’t take with me to Uni.
But I’ve bagged it up and put aside. WIBTA if I take all her stuff to her house when I next visit, rather than sell off some of my non essentials to make space?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Ducky818 − NTA. It’s your home, not her closet. Whether you are a slob or not is not relevant. It is not her space and she wasn’t offered it. In fact, she was asked to take it back. So, take it to her and next time she visits, make sure she takes her stuff with her and tell her you will either sell or donate anything she leaves behind.
Sea-Tea-4130 − Does she live near you or travel to you? How much stuff has she left? WNBTA-you wouldn’t be wrong to have her get her things. Perhaps setting a limit to what she can leave behind though I’m not sure why she leaves stuff if she also bringing things.
Tdluxon − NTA Why should you need to make room for her stuff that she just keeps leaving? It’s not your stuff and you don’t want it… I’d tell her to either take it or its going in the trash.
Stunning_Cupcake_260 − That or just donate it all.
Rocky_Bonsai − You wouldn’t be the a**hole. If she makes a fuss, just restate the boundary of “you can leave a cold weather coat and gloves but we don’t have space for more than that.” Next time she leaves more things, return it again and tell her you’ll donate anything she leaves in the future.
Then follow through on that. You’re kind to not want to donate her stuff but at that point she would have had fair warning. It’s your home and you get to say what gets left there and how much.
SavingsRhubarb8746 − Sure, take it to her home next time you go there. It’s a courtesy to drop off things “accidentally” left behind, although it’s even more courteous if your mother picks it up to take it home. But it sounds like that isn’t going to happen.
I’m just a bit puzzled as to why she leaves more and more of her possessions in your house. I can see leaving a single garment which is picked up or dropped off before the next visit. That happens.. NTA
TheVic0_0 − NTA Definitely drop them off at her house. She wants to disrespect your family and disregard a reasonable boundary? Then there needs to be consequences, and this is a simple natural one.
External-Hamster-991 − NTA. Don’t bother giving her a heads up, either. It’s so nice of you to be willing to bring it all to her, so don’t give her the opportunity to try and talk you out of it.
Fickle_Toe1724 − NTA. Take the stuff back to her, this time. Tell her that in the future, anything she leaves behind will be sold or donated. Then follow through.
Your house is not her closet. Do not let her use it as one.
Cangal39 − NTA you’re just returning her belongings so your child has space to play without damaging her stuff 😉
Is it unreasonable to set this boundary, or is she fair in reclaiming her space? Share your thoughts!