WIBTA for not wanting to change my babies name?
A pregnant woman and her husband revealed they plan to name their baby boy Shawn, only to learn that it is the name of her teenage sister-in-law’s former bully. The revelation caused tension at dinner, and now the mother-in-law is asking them to reconsider the name out of concern for Ashley’s feelings.
The couple had a hard time agreeing on a name, and the poster is torn about changing it, especially since they didn’t know the connection before. Read the original story below…
‘ WIBTA for not wanting to change my babies name?’
I’m 8 months pregnant, and have been purposefully holding off on revealing my babies name and gender but since it’s so close me and my husband invited invited my parents, his and his sister Ashley who’s 17. Dinner was going great until we announce we’re having a boy and naming him Shawn.
My in laws got a little quiet for a moment before my MIL asked if there was any other options we’d considered. We took forever to pick a name, Shawn is the only one we could agree on.
MIL told us that that’s the name of Ashley’s old b**ly who tormented her heavily in school and online during 2020-2021 and it got so bad she switched schools. It got a awkward after that, there wasn’t much else to say and dinner ended quickly after.
My MIL texted me and my husband again to again ask us to find a new name for Ashley’s sake. Would I be the a**hole for not wanting to change it? We were only able to agree on it a few weeks ago. EDIT: we didn’t know that was the name of Ashley’s b**ly until my mil told us at dinner, we didn’t know before hand and pick it anyway
See what others had to share with OP:
O4243G − NGL I would pick a new name. Not because I HAD to but because I wouldn’t want my child to have to listen to b**lshit for years about how he shares a name with his aunts b**ly and his mom didn’t care enough about their family to pick something else.
I fully expect that it’s your son who will suffer for this choice – not you. There’s a name in my family that’s kind of like “Shawn” it’s also my FILs name. My partner understands it can only ever really be a middle name due to the connotation the name has in my family.
Either compromise or get used to the idea that your child may have a distant relationship with this branch of the family.
NotLostForWords − YTA. Usually I’d be on your side, but you commented that the b**lying “was bad enough she tried to take her own life”. I mean you do have right to name your kid whatever, but why would you want to do this to a family member?
Sufficient-Lime-4858 − Aside from everything I am stuck on the fact that you can’t possibly find any other name better than Shawn lmao am I the only one fixated on this
DoIwantToKnow6417 − INFO : Why wasn’t your husband aware of the b**lying?
fauxrain − YTA. Your poor sister-in-law is a child who almost took her own life over this b**lying and you want to remind her of it constantly? It’s not like it’s even a special name to you, it’s just one that you could agree on.
I guarantee there is at least one other name you could find that you both like. Act like the adults in this situation and do better.
UnluckyCountry2784 − Your husband is TA for not knowing the details of his Sister’s b**ly. It’s so bad she changed schools yet your husband don’t even know the name? Edit: I saw on your comment that she almost took her life. This is getting worst.
autumnflowers13 − It’s not malicious when you chose it. But knowing what you know now, would make it malicious. There are millions of names, I’d pick another or YTA
Eyekc3 − YTA because it was bad enough your SIL tried to take her own life. Having grace for those we love isn’t a bad thing.
Apprehensive_Wave634 − NAH but man this sucks for your SIL. Especially since you commented that she was so excited to be an aunt. Personally I would change it.
INFO: has SIL expressed discomfort over the name, or just MIL on her behalf? And has MIL actually talked to SIL to find out if she has an issue with the name, or is she just anticipating one?
[Reddit User] − YTA Husband should be more considerate of his sister’s feelings. The world may bring lots of Shawns into Ashley’s life, but her own family should have her back. Some bells just can’t really be easily un-rung.
Would it be wrong to stick with the name? Share your thoughts below!
