Update: My wife [28F] found out that my mother [59F] and I [28M] have been lying to her about our (me and my wife’s) baby [0M] for months

After my original post about lying to my wife regarding our baby’s milestones, things took an unexpected turn. In a candid and emotional conversation, my wife and I sat down to work through the hurt feelings and misunderstandings that had piled up. The catalyst was a difficult revelation—my mother had been covering for my absence during important moments of our son’s early life, and I had hidden the truth to spare her pain.

Now, after an honest discussion and a heartfelt apology, our conversation led us to a surprising place: humor. Even though the scars of betrayal still linger, we’re beginning to see that sometimes, laughter can be a healing remedy.

‘Update: My wife [28F] found out that my mother [59F] and I [28M] have been lying to her about our (me and my wife’s) baby [0M] for months?’

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/RcbzQ

In moments of deep grief and vulnerability, even well-intentioned fabrications can lead to feelings of betrayal. In this case, the husband admitted that he lied about his baby’s milestones—hoping to offer his wife comfort and a sense of presence during a painful time—only to later learn that these “band-aid” measures left her feeling deceived. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman explains that “honesty, even when it hurts, is essential to building real intimacy. Deceptive behaviors, however well-meaning, can undermine trust and create deeper emotional wounds over time.”

Dr. Gottman’s insight is particularly relevant here. The husband’s choice to present false milestones was driven by his desire to ease his wife’s pain and maintain a connection to their son, not to manipulate or profit from the situation. However, his wife’s reaction—feeling betrayed rather than comforted—highlights how even small lies can have a significant impact on trust in a relationship.

Additionally, the husband’s confession about his irrational fear that his wife might spiral into suicidal thoughts—rooted in his family’s painful history—adds another layer of complexity. This fear, while genuine, further underscores the need for open, honest communication. Instead of concealing emotions behind deception, both partners can benefit from discussing their insecurities and fears candidly, possibly with the guidance of a professional counselor.

Ultimately, while sharing laughter over the “beanbag trick” and other moments is a positive sign of healing, the path forward will require embracing vulnerability and truthfulness to rebuild trust fully.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Many community members have shared similar experiences of working through betrayal with open communication and humor. Some noted that, “Even when trust is broken, a genuine apology and a shared laugh can be the first steps toward healing.” Others mentioned that airing difficult truths together—even if it’s awkward—shows a commitment to the relationship that far outweighs the pain of the past.

Ultimately, our update reveals that while deception leaves wounds, it also creates opportunities for honest dialogue and healing. By facing the truth, acknowledging our mistakes, and even finding moments of laughter, my wife and I are learning to rebuild our trust.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever experienced a turning point in a relationship where honesty led to unexpected healing—and even laughter? Share your insights and let’s discuss how vulnerability can pave the way for recovery.