UPDATE My (F33) fiancé (M34) revealed to me that he has a child with another woman. How do I process this?
Life can sometimes throw us the most unexpected curveballs—especially when we’re finally feeling secure in a romantic relationship. Imagine excitedly planning a future with your fiancé, dreaming of all the milestones you’ll share together, only to discover he’s hidden a massive part of his life. It’s a heartbreak wrapped in confusion, fueling more questions than answers.
Our story today follows a soon-to-be wife who finds out her fiancé already has a secret child with another woman. This revelation is not only gut-wrenching but also shakes the very foundation of trust in their relationship. How could someone hide something so important, and what does this mean for their shared future? Join us as we dig deeper into the emotions, motives, and advice surrounding this shocking situation.
‘UPDATE My (F33) fiancé (M34) revealed to me that he has a child with another woman. How do I process this?’
For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/bvXcP
This scenario highlights the importance of honesty and trust in relationships. The fiancé’s decision to conceal his child from his partner raises serious questions about his integrity and commitment to openness within their relationship. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, an expert in couples therapy, “Trust is built on vulnerability and openness; without these elements, relationships can become strained.”
The fact that the mother blocked all of his girlfriends suggests she may have felt threatened or insecure about potential new partners entering her daughter’s life or affecting her co-parenting dynamics with him. Dr. Johnson emphasizes that “when secrets are revealed late in a relationship, it often indicates deeper issues related to fear or shame.”
Ultimately, rebuilding trust after such deception is challenging but not impossible if both parties are willing to work through their issues openly and honestly. Dr. Johnson advises that “couples therapy can provide a safe space for discussing these concerns and rebuilding trust over time.”
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Most of the Reddit commenters expressed doubts about the boyfriend’s honesty, worrying whether the phone call truly involved the child’s mother. Some even suggested he might be hiding additional secrets or staging the call altogether. Others cautioned about the risks of continuing a relationship once trust is compromised, urging the OP to carefully consider her next steps before marriage.
A few also emphasized the boyfriend’s responsibility for not being clear from the start, leaving the OP feeling deceived and hurt. Overall, the majority recommended that the OP thoroughly reassess the entire situation, demanding complete transparency before deciding how to proceed.
Ultimately, the weight of hidden truths can crack even the strongest relationships. Although the fiancé is now making overt efforts to rebuild trust—offering transparency, suggesting couples’ therapy—the OP grapples with whether love can triumph over betrayal. The ball is in her court to decide if the relationship’s foundations can be salvaged or if it’s time to walk away.
What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice below. Let’s discuss how best to handle life-altering secrets and whether true forgiveness is possible once trust has been lost.