Update: I (32 F) work overnights. My father-in-law (60s M) keeps bad mouthing me and telling everyone I’m lazy. I’m afraid people are starting to buy it.

A woman (32F) working overnight shifts in the medical field shares an update about ongoing tension with her father-in-law, who repeatedly disrespected her career by calling her “lazy.” After a family intervention, it became clear his criticism stemmed from her and her husband’s (M, 10 years married) decision to remain child-free. Following a heated conversation, her husband supported her by going no-contact with his father. Read the full story below.

‘ Update: I (32 F) work overnights. My father-in-law (60s M) keeps bad mouthing me and telling everyone I’m lazy. I’m afraid people are starting to buy it.’

Hey all! I dealt with my family members at a family gathering over the weekend. I saw my sister (one of my family member who had been texting me) and reminded her that I am asleep at 3 or 4 pm when she texts. If she texts me first thing in the morning, like when she leaves for work at 7, maybe I can do whatever favor she needs before I go to sleep. I told her that I wouldn’t be adjusting my schedule to do her favors. She seemed to understand.

Over the weekend, my husband and I sat down with my father-in-law one last time to try to get him to understand that I am a medical professional, I work nights, and that my nights are as hard as working a day shift, often times harder.

I brought up my MIL, and reminded him how she called 911 at 2 am when she had her first heart attack. I told him the person on the other end of that phone had a real job, the EMTs who came to take her to the hospital had real jobs, and the ER Nurses and Doctors that treated her had real jobs.

I told him that yes, I could take a day shift, but **I** would be unhappy in the end because I’m just not wired to be awake during the day (today is an exception because I’m on vacation and had a dentist appointment.)

Well, those who guessed that this was way more about my job were right. After the discussion, he point blank told me that my chosen hours weren’t conductive to having children. When I reminded him that when his son and I got married 10 years ago, we both agreed that we weren’t having children, he had some choice words.

My husband kicked him out of our house, and my family will stop inviting him to family gatherings. It’s not the outcome I wanted, but hopefully he’ll come around.

TL;DR: It was about children, not about my job. We are currently no contact.

Edit: To be clear: He did not live with us, but near us. My husband kicked him out of our house that evening.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

[Reddit User] −  heart attack. genius. My husband kicked him out of our house, and my family will stop inviting him to family gatherings.. good work

paintedLady318 −  Thanks for the update! I think you and your husband handled it perfectly. Good job!

Complete_Entry −  Happy ending to a s**t father in law.

daisuki_janai_desu −  If that ahole wants children, he can go adopt some. You are not a uterus to be loaned out at their convenience.

[Reddit User] −  My husband kicked him out of our house, and my family will stop inviting him to family gatherings. I’m so glad that your husband had your back and stood firm on this. Way too many times I see people posting on here that their spouse didn’t have their back and it baffles me.

May not have been the exact outcome you wanted, but you found out what his problem is, and that basically he’s just a twat who thinks you’re a baby maker. So, f**k ’em. He can think about all that when he’s not allowed at family gatherings. Lol

Cats-and-Chaos −  Ugh what is it with parents that believe they are entitled to grandchildren 🙄

[Reddit User] −  Jesus Christ, b**lying you for so long, calling you names etc just so you give him grandkids, what a brilliant f**king genius I think he missed the memo on the last couple of decades where women got finally some god damn rights of their own. And yes that includes the responsibility of work, who would have thought. Good on you and your partner for sticking with you.

[Reddit User] −  I love updates. I live for updates. Thank you so much for satisfying my unhealthy curiosity. And although the outcome was not entirely positive, at least now you can sleep soundly not having to worry about this.

cats4life −  Who wants to break it to this guy who had children that being awake at night is actually a very useful skill for child rearing?

BoringArchivist −  I work days, my wife works nights, we have been doing this for over 20 years. We have a 16 year old and a 12 year old. Is it hard? Yes, but not any worse than having kids in the first place. Glad he was kicked out, he sounds like a closed minded m**on. It isn’t worth trying to reconcile, the two of you will always be at fault.

Balancing personal boundaries and family dynamics can be challenging, especially when it involves deeply rooted beliefs about life choices. How would you navigate such a situation? Share your thoughts below!