UPDATE: I [28f] literally just found email after email from my fiancé [27m] to his ex girlfriend [20s/f] belittling and making fun of me and worse. Seriously shocked beyond belief right now.

A Reddit user shared her painful journey after discovering shocking emails between her fiancé and his ex-girlfriend, where he belittles her and mocks personal aspects of her life. After years of trust and planning a future together, the betrayal has shattered her.

With the support of her best friend and his boyfriend, she moved out and is now navigating the emotional aftermath. Her focus is on staying strong, maintaining her dignity, and moving forward with her life. For more details on her journey of healing, read the full story below.

‘ UPDATE: I [28f] literally just found email after email from my fiancé [27m] to his ex girlfriend [20s/f] belittling and making fun of me and worse. Seriously shocked beyond belief right now.’

I [28F] recently discovered a series of shocking emails from my fiancé [27M] to his ex-girlfriend [20s/F], in which he belittles and makes fun of me. I am absolutely devastated, but I’m trying my best to stay strong. I never imagined anything like this happening, especially after five years together.

After finding the emails, I stayed with my best friend Jake and his boyfriend Mike for support. We all cried together and started making a plan for what’s next. It’s been emotionally exhausting, but I’m determined to move forward. Jake and Mike helped me with the logistics of moving out.

Mike, who works as a property manager, made a call to my property manager and explained the situation (without going into details). My property manager was very understanding and made it easy for me to get out of the apartment. Dale and I had been paying rent month-to-month for the past few months because we were planning to buy a house.

Fortunately, I’m financially stable and comfortable on my own, and I’m confident I’ll be able to find a new place. Jake and I rented a truck and spent the day moving my things into his and Mike’s garage. It didn’t take long, thanks to our planning, and everything is now out of the apartment. Dale has been texting me asking how Jake is and if I’m coming home.

I responded that I was already home, which wasn’t a lie—I was at Jake’s place at the time. I didn’t tell him the full truth, as I didn’t feel the need to. I did, however, remind him how great I am, and it felt a bit satisfying to know he’ll be thinking about that.

I didn’t want to act out of spite or ruin anything of his, but I did leave him a little something. I bought a large tub of vanilla ice cream (thanks to one of the users here for that suggestion) and left it on the counter with a note saying, “I know vanilla isn’t your favorite flavor, but this is the only vanilla you’ll be eating from now on. XOXO.” I also left my engagement ring with the note.

I know it’s petty, but it felt like a small act of closure. I’m now staying with Jake and Mike for the time being. Finding an apartment for myself won’t be an issue at all. I make more than 70% of our combined income, and I’m confident I’ll be okay financially. I’m also dealing with the wedding and honeymoon plans.

I’ll have to cancel or rebook, but it’s something I’ll get done. I did purchase insurance for the honeymoon, so I’m hoping it covers the cancellation. I can’t think about it too much right now because I’m still reeling emotionally. As for the wedding dress, I’m considering either selling it or burning it—burning it feels a bit satisfying, especially since Dale made fun of my scar.

I’ve always been proud of it, as it’s a reminder of my survival from a serious car accident. Dale’s cruelty about it is something I’ll never forget. So, I might take some private pleasure in destroying the dress as a way to let go of everything he’s put me through. Even though everything’s fallen apart, I’m walking away with my dignity intact.

The best revenge is to rise above it all. I’ll never stoop to his level. I know what happened, and the people who love me know the truth. That’s enough for me. If he tries to twist the narrative to his family, that’s on him. I’ve blocked him on social media and email, and I’ll be blocking his number soon. I’m curious about his reaction, but I won’t be responding to any of his messages.

Lastly, I want to say thank you to everyone who’s been supportive. Your messages and advice have helped me feel less alone in this. I know I’ll be okay, and I’ll keep moving forward. I’m going to continue to wear clothes that show my scar because it’s part of who I am, and I’m not letting anyone make me feel ashamed of it.

I’ll never forget how kind everyone’s been, and it’s helped me in ways I can’t fully express. Thank you all for caring. I’m going to be okay.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

[Reddit User] −  I cried a lot after that one, it hit me pretty hard. Those disgusting words were carefully picked to do as much damage as he possibly could. He literally sat there and figured out what is the most painful thing he could possibly say. And you know why he was able to? Because he knew you, because you’ve opened up to this person.

And, once again, he broke your trust in a horrific way. To let them to get to you with those words is the same as getting depressed when somebody straightforwardly says “I am trying to hurt you, so please hurt as much as possible. Go!”

He used what he knew would hurt most. He used the years he has known you for against you. He stooped sooooo low, that the only thing you should be taking from that message is that he is the worst human being you’ve come across so far. And now he is out of your life because you are extraordinarily strong.

fossilhunter −  Just wanted to say I was waiting on this update since I read your original, because I was furious and hurting *for* you. And the swiftness and determination of your reaction must have been so hard, but you handled it like a boss. Good on you, girl. So proud. edit: i would be calling Dale ‘the subhuman’ at this point since the depth of his cruelness is so staggering

DiTrastevere −  Holy Jesus this update was a rollercoaster of emotions. I legit punched the air at work when you used the ice cream idea. You win Poster of the Week. GO! BE FREE MY CHILD!! LOW CUT TOPS AND VANILLA ICE CREAM FOR ALL!!

[Reddit User] −  Burning it sounds kind of fun because I’ve been holding back so much on not being destructive in a time where I would have found great (albeit temporary) pleasure in burning everything Dale has ever owned. Have you seen those “trash the dress” photoshoots where the bride goes paintballing with friends, or does a cannonball into a muddy creek in full wedding regalia?

Some of those were women who canceled the wedding and decided to go ahead and have the photo session anyway. Might be fun. You could even have s’mores to celebrate. That’s really all I have to contribute. Sounds like you’ve got the rest covered. You’re going to be just fine. Dale, who knows, but that’s his loss.

ComplicatedClock −  I want to give Jake an award for Best Supportive Friend.

[Reddit User] −  Oh, how I waited for this update!!! Though his texts hurt me, they also reaffirmed that he’s a spineless weasel and that I 10000% did the right think by leaving. Yes, yes you did. And I am sooo glad to hear this! I know you have already said that you know your self-worth, but just a reminder: YOU ROCK.

And the fact that you dumped his disgusting ass serves as a reminder. I doubt he’ll be able to find someone quickly who is willing to sleep on a couch versus having their own bedroom. Especially since I purchased the couch, so… there isn’t even one there anymore. The thought of this brings me great pleasure, as I’m sure you can imagine.

That’s exactly why I was checking for your updates! I wanted to hear about his sorry ass being left in this situation because he had it waaaaay too easy. Ungrateful little… “I know vanilla isn’t your favorite flavor, but this is the only vanilla you’ll be eating from now on. XOXO”. I mean… I am human. I had to leave him with a little bit of a bang..

I wish I could be your friend haha. Take good care OP. You came across a particularly n**ty human being, and I wish you to find somebody who deserves your kickass self.

ElectraUnderTheSea −  You know, I do have the feeling he has no f**king clue of what he has exactly done to get you to leave; it is like he thinks there are many possible options, which is even worse.You managed this s**t like a boss, make no mistake about it. Congratulations on the new a**hole-free life 🙂

Bodymindisoneword −  Dear OP, please do not cook anything on the wedding dress fire – even just smore’s. The smoke could be toxic if what is being burned is chemically treated in any way, and I imagine a fancy dress has been treated.. Other than that – Good on you!

Dolomite808 −  Man, you didn’t dodge a bullet, you dodged a cannonball. Stay strong. You’ve done great so far, so just keep it up.

crystanow −  I love how he was already saying that I just misunderstood what I “think” he’s done and that he can explain. He’s such a s**t person that he wouldn’t even just come out and admit to the emails and say he’s sorry. And then to call me dramatic. Ewwww, I wonder if he did more/worse than the emails and the reason he isn’t addressing them is becasue he doesn’t know what bad thing you found out?