Update: how do i make it clear to my girlfriend(27f) that me(28m) and my female best friend(27f) are not in love?

In an effort to address his girlfriend’s (27F) insecurities about his lifelong friendship with his female best friend (27F), a man (28M) arranged a meeting between his girlfriend, his best friend, and her husband.

Through open conversations, trust-building, and shared experiences, progress was made toward resolving the tension. Read the heartfelt update below.

For those who want to read the previous part: https://aita.pics/tmIXh

‘ Update: how do i make it clear to my girlfriend(27f) that me(28m) and my female best friend(27f) are not in love?’

I want to first thank everyone who commented and send a DM. Yesterday i sat Melissa down and asked her if she wanted to meet aria and her husband to talk. She was hesitant at first. I also found out why she was against me having Aria as a friend. See, her parents are divorced, but i never knew the reason.

Her dad cheated when Melissa was 16 with her moms friend. So because of that she never liked female best friends of guys she was seeing. I told her that she has nothing to worry about and that i only love her and that i want her to see from aria herself that nothing would happen to us. She agreed to meet.

This would also be the first time she would be meeting aria’s husband so (Jason 29m). So today was the day of the meeting. We met up with them for lunch. When we arrived Aria and Jason were already there. I kind off asked aria to be more affectionate towards her husband, but she always was doing that with Jason.

We had a pretty good talk. We talked about how we met, how long we know each other. Also been told how i was the reason Jason asked her on a date since he was my work buddy at the time.

Aria made sure to say that she understood her insecurities about our friendship and tried hard to tell her she has nothing to be scared off. That she was happy for us and that she herself was happily married.

Aria and Melissa were talking among the two of them and i was talking with Jason. I could see Melissa relax and i felt genuine happy that she was happy. After we came home, she told me that she trust Aria more and they are planning to go out tomorrow.

I understand that they are not going to be friends right away but i can say that it is going the right direction! Thank you all for reading and helping me, i appreciate it!

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

kastori444 −  How did you go from making a scarp book for your step son and being a woman in your mid 30s to being 28 years old man ?!

StupidSolipsist −  It’s so good that you and Melissa were able to discuss her feelings so productively. I could easily see a world where Melissa was uncomfortable sharing them or where you punished her for having them. Instead, she was open, you were understanding, and a really healthy outcome was reached. Bravo

Initial_Buy_4278 −  F*@k it. Im going to say it. This sounds like a set up. Why ask your friend to be more affectionate with her S/O?
glad that you and your female best friend convinced your wife that it is “platonic”.

wouldbecrazycatlady −  So this sounds great and all on the surface but like… Why are you asking her to be more affectionate with her husband? Why are you giving her intimate details about your girlfriend’s insecurities?

If you don’t learn how to keep your relationship drama out of the ears of your female friends, you’re never going to stop having relationship drama…. Also I really hope this isn’t Aria’s account you’re posting on 😬😬😬

If you’re running to Aria like you did before you had a girlfriend, there’s no wonder she’s insecure. You need to have strong boundaries between your relationships. You can have a trusted couple of people who you can tell anything to, but that cannot be someone who makes your partner insecure.

Everyone else in your life should never hear a bad thing about your partner. That’s between the two of you. Me, personally? I talk to my therapist, my parents, and my sister when I need to get things off my chest about my partner.

No one else in my life is an appropriate person for me to allow to know there is any strife in our relationship, because it’s disrespectful to my partner to encourage any negative thoughts about him.

professionaldrama- −  “ I kind off asked aria to be more affectionate towards her husband”. I hate when men tell their girl bestie that their partner are jealous of them instead of putting boundaries and respecting their partners.

“ Aria made sure to say that she understood her insecurities about our friendship and tried hard to tell her she has nothing to be scared off.” That just means keep your issues to yourself because I’ll go to my bestie and she’ll expose our relationship issues on a double date without caring about hurting your feelings.

I think all Melissa learned now that she needs to bottle up her feelings about Aria because she’s going to learn all about them as if she’s her partner.. Melissa deserves better.

Ok-Young-1625 −  Asking Aria to be more affectionate is very sneaky? Why ask her to fake it? If Melisa somehow found out about that it would be a bit of a gut punch. And I’m sure you would never do anything but your partner should be your best friend and the person you give the most emotional affection too.

Bshellsy −  Jesus I’m glad this is fake

YuansMoon −  Melissa’s probably smart enough to know to keep her friends close, but her enemies closer.

Obvious_Fox_1886 −  So if you two are just best friends and nothing more then why did you feel the need to tell your friend Aria to be more affectionate to her husband ( and Im guessing less affectionate towards you)? And you felt the need to sayso in your post….I find that really odd. 

MudFunny5486 −  Don’t prioritize the femyfriend over her. Don’t emotionally connect with the friend before or more than you connect with her. Invite your gf to hang with both of you…

This story highlights the importance of open communication and understanding when navigating complex dynamics in relationships. How would you handle a similar situation? Could you trust your partner’s friendship under these circumstances? Share your thoughts below!