[Update] Am I in the wrong for telling my ex-husband that our kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father?

A Reddit user shares an update about a conflict involving their ex-husband and his stepson. After an argument about the stepson’s refusal to babysit his siblings, the boy physically confronted his stepfather.

The ex-husband claimed the boy’s biological father was turning him against him, and as a result, the boy is now staying with his biological father.

Meanwhile, the Redditor’s ex-husband is behind on child support, and the Redditor’s son has been transferred to a private school to protect him from potential rumors. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ [Update] Am I in the wrong for telling my ex-husband that our kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father?’

My ex’s stepson had plans to go bowling with some friends. His biological father had already given him permission and money for the outing. However, when he told his mother, she said he couldn’t go because they needed him to stay home and watch his younger siblings.

My ex and his wife had planned an outing and needed someone to stay with the kids. This led to an argument. The boy raised his voice to his mother, and my ex stepped in to demand that he respect her. The boy replied that he wasn’t his father.

Trying to maintain authority, my ex told him that as long as he lived under his roof, he had to follow his rules. The boy ignored him and turned away. My ex followed him and touched his shoulder to get his attention.

At that moment, the boy turned around, punched him, and shouted that he wasn’t his father and could never compare to him. The mother scolded him for his behavior, but the boy, still angry, shouted back that he hated her. This version was shared by my ex and his wife to my ex-mother in law.

My sister in law later relayed it to me. They went to see my ex-mother-in-law to try to gain her sympathy and convince her to take care of the kids the two stepchildren and the baby so they could go out. However, my ex-mother-in-law told them she would not take care of the children.

When I spoke to my ex, he mentioned he was dealing with family issues and claimed that the boy’s biological father was turning him against him. He didn’t give me many details and omitted most of what my sister in law had shared.

He simply informed me that, due to the situation, he wouldn’t be able to pick up our children this weekend. The 15-year-old boy is now staying with his biological father. As for what I mentioned earlier, my ex was two months behind on child support, and that same week, he was supposed to make another payment.

He didn’t, leaving him three months behind. In the end, his mother was the one who covered the overdue amount. Regarding the child who attends the same school as my son, it’s not the 15 year old involved in the altercation.

It’s his younger stepbrother, who is 8 years old, the same age as my son. I decided to enroll my son in that school when the affair became public. At the time, I was working as a kindergarten teacher at the same school, and the boy had been one of my students.

We all knew each other, and to protect my children from rumors, I transferred them to a private school. This happened two months before the school year ended. Thanks to the circumstances and the support of some kind people, we managed to get them admitted.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

gdrom123 −  So even after the punch and the argument they still wanted to go out? What a pathetic excuse for parents! I hope their marriage eventually falls apart.

Instilled_Ink −  Wait, so AP’s son was in your kindergarten class and you transferred your son to a different school to get away from them and they moved AP’s son to that school too? Seems rather s**tty of them

Samarkand457 −  “Touched his shoulder”. Riiiight. I bet that he grabbed the kid, spun him around to assert his authority, and found out that the kid had hands. Your ex appears to have climbed to the top of the S**tty Life Decisions Tree. And is hitting every branch on the way down.

Thorn_Road −  Wow, dudes so thick he cant see that the only person turning the kids against him is himself and his actions. Did he think that all the children in the marriages he destroyed would be understanding or something?

Dude sounds like a narcisisstic tool who will still be blaming you for turning the kids against him when they go NC with him after they turn 18

Cybermagetx −  Dude and his wife are made for each other. All of their kids will eventually hate them at this rate.

stargal81 −  He’s just winning Father of the Year awards left & right. Well at least one less kid in his house means he can afford to keep up with his support payments to you!. Updateme

MCMXCIV9 −  He spend all his time and effort for a stepkid that hate him (justifiedly) and lost his actual kids. Karma a b**ch.

ElssaaaHansen −  you’re just trying to be honest about the situation, and your kids’ feelings are valid. They’re feeling hurt, and it’s understandable to want to protect them.

WolfGang2026 −  So after getting punched and getting shouted at? They both still wanted to go out and make someone else watch the kids? Wow. I wondering how many hits your ex will take before he realizes that he’s the problem.

EnvironmentalSir8140 −  NTA-/Keep your kids away from that toxic mess. I can’t believe that after all that they still wanted to go out. They treat the 15 yr old as a built in babysitter.

Do you think the user’s assessment of the situation and the children’s feelings is fair, or is there more to the story that we don’t know yet? How would you handle this complex family dynamic and the pressure of managing relationships after a divorce? Share your thoughts below!