UPDATE: AITA for Telling My Aunt That Watching Her Daughter Isn’t My Responsibility?

A Reddit user shares an update on a family feud involving her aunt’s unreasonable demands to care for her cousin, Lily. With the support of her mom and family, the OP stood her ground against accusations of neglect and learned more about the controlling behavior behind the conflict. Read the full update below to see how it all unfolded!

For those who haven’t read the previous part: https://aita.pics/ISgLQ

‘ UPDATE: AITA for Telling My Aunt That Watching Her Daughter Isn’t My Responsibility?’

Hey, everyone! Thanks for all the advice and support. I’m back in my city now, and things have finally calmed down after what felt like endless family drama. I’ll start work tomorrow, so I thought I’d share an update on how everything unfolded.

As I mentioned, my aunt had been calling and leaving messages nonstop after the incident. My mom—who is absolutely my superhero—told me to stand my ground and not give in to the pressure. She even stepped in to handle things herself. On Sunday, she went to my aunt’s house and, according to my cousin Carl (fake name), tore her a new one.

Apparently, my mom didn’t hold back. She called out my aunt’s behavior, her deadbeat husband, and her overly controlling parenting style. It turns out, my aunt has been clashing with pretty much everyone in the family, collecting grudges like Pokémon cards. I hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten since I’ve been away for work.

Here’s some context I learned later: Lily had a few health scares as a baby, which led my aunt to become a full-blown helicopter mom. She barely lets Lily out of the house unless it’s to visit our family. Even her preschool is run by my uncle (aunt’s brother), and my aunt pulls her out of school whenever she feels like it.

According to Carl, Lily is lucky to have some freedom when she stays at our house, which explains why she’s so attached to me and my mom. While my mom was handling my aunt, I had a beach day with my brother. It was just the two of us, and we had the best time eating ice cream and building sandcastles.

It felt nostalgic, like revisiting our childhood memories of living by the coast. It also made up for not celebrating his birthday properly due to all the chaos. Monday was a relaxed day at home with my cousins. My grandma even brought Lily over so I could say goodbye before heading back.

Getting her out of my aunt’s house was apparently a battle in itself, but I’m so grateful I got to spend a few hours with her. She’s such a joy, and I’ll miss her terribly. Now, for the funny bit: Carl called me shortly after I posted my original story. His exact words?

“Breaking out of the prison, are we? Right behind you, sis.” He’s been cracking jokes about the whole situation ever since, which has definitely lightened the mood. As for my aunt, she’s still trying to stir up drama, but most of the family is on my side.

Once the truth came out, it became clear that her accusations about me “neglecting” Lily were ridiculous. Everyone knows how much I adore Lily, and I’ve always been there for her when I could. After reading all the comments and advice, I’ve decided not to apologize.

I would have considered it just to keep the peace, but she’s blown this so far out of proportion that it’s not worth it. My mom has told her to stop acting like a child and quit spamming the family group chats. (Her words, not mine!) At this point, I’m putting the drama behind me.

Almost everyone in the family has reassured me that I did nothing wrong, so I’m moving forward with a clear conscience. Thank you again to everyone who helped me see this situation clearly—I truly appreciate it!

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

YakActual4869 −  Good for you and glad to see a parental figure have their kids back for once!

EllaGZS −  Wow, it sounds like your mom really took charge and handled things with grace! I’m glad to hear most of the family is on your side, and it’s awesome you got to spend quality time with Lily.

It’s so refreshing to see you standing your ground and not letting the drama get to you. I’m sure your mom’s words to your aunt were exactly what was needed sometimes you just have to put people in their place!

Suspicious_Juice717 −  “collecting grudges like Pokémon cards”. I LOLed so hard. 

FED2ST8 −  Never apologize just to “keep the peace”, it usually means you’re just pasting over someone else’s dysfunction. If it’s not genuine don’t do it. And if it’s not deserved, definitely don’t do it

Miserable-Alarm-5963 −  I was forced to apologise to my Aunt when I was 17 for something that wasn’t my fault and she blew out of proportion now at 45 I have spoken less than 100 words to her since that day and am still mildly vexed with my parents about it. Stand your ground it will work out better for everyone in the end.

Ok-Profession2383 −  I like your mom, brother, and grandma. Your mom is a legend for that. I’m glad that they have your back. 

Medical-Metal865 −  NTA have you considered calling CPS about her behavior with Lily??

WillingnessUseful212 −  I’m shocked that with her overbearing parenting style, she let lily out of her sight long enough to wreak havoc in the kitchen.

And that makes it even worse in a lot of ways, because all of that helicopter parenting and needless worrying had to have exhausted her over the last few years to the extent that she must have been so relieved to have what she thought was five minutes where she didn’t have to watch her constantly.

And instead of saying “Thank you for keeping an eye on her for as long as you did, but now I have to clean up this mess,” she doubled down and found a way to blame you. Because that was easier than admitting to herself that she fucked up and isn’t as good a parent as she thinks her overbearing ways cause her to be. If that makes sense.

JediSnoopy −  Good for your mom. Now that you know the full story, it’s a little easier to understand, isn’t it? But it still doesn’t mean you’re obligated to be in charge of a child who’s not yours. You are allowed to say, “No”. I’m glad it worked out and wish you well.

p_0456 −  Finally a post where the family is reasonable and has common sense!

Do you think the OP handled the situation correctly by refusing to apologize? How would you navigate family drama when it involves standing up for yourself while keeping the peace? Share your thoughts and stories below!