Update: Aita for going behind my wife’s back and telling her pregnant sister that she’s being cheated on?

First, please read my original post:

‘ Update: Aita for going behind my wife’s back and telling her pregnant sister that she’s being cheated on?’

It’s been a few days since I told my wife’s sister that her husband is a cheat, just to clarify to all the weridos, no I am not in love with my sil, I don’t have any inappropriate relation/feelings for her, I respect her and she’s family
In any case yesterday I asked my wife why she is pissed and wanted me to not reveal the truth to her sister I know you guys hate each other but you guys are siblings.

My wife said it’s not our place to interfere, I asked are you okay with her sister being cheated on? She said she isn’t but it will and has ruined their marriage because of my stupidity, she’s pregnant and the child needs his father and so does the wife. I was so shocked when she said this, like wtf?

I asked her if I were to cheat on you would you forgive me? She said yes, I also asked her if she ever cheats on me would she hide it from me, she also said yes to that. I was so shocked I asked her if she knows what she’s saying, she said ‘yes and she’s confident, just because you had s** with someone else doesn’t mean everyone else has to suffer and break the family’.

I had no words to say, I told her that I also sent my sil money, she started screaming at me and said I shouldn’t have helped her despite knowing she doesn’t like her sister. I said if that’s what she thinks then it’s better if we just divorce, she got angry and screamed ‘fine’ and started packing her bag.

I tried my best to stop her from leaving, I told her that I love her and I just did what I felt right, nobody has to suffer betrayal like this, she said it is wasnt the ‘right time’. I asked her so when should we tell her the truth? After she gives birth? Because it will worsen her ppd Or years after she gives birth?, she will just blame us.

She said we should have just kept quite and left it alone, I tried so hard to stop her but she didn’t listen to me and left, I tried to contact her and herparents, her friends but they don’t know where she is and instead started interrogating me and saying I am her husband and I should have taken care of her and I should know where she is, I even visited my bil to confirm my suspicions but I didn’t see her car or her belongings anywhere.

I hate that I am being blamed for just revealing the truth and my wife leaving me right away without a second thought, I was so damm pissed so today I called my sil and told her that she can stay at my place cause I am going to my parents and my wife left and nobody knows where she is.

She told me she will try talking to her parents but after a while she called me and said that their parents don’t know where she is, I told her to think about herself and come over and stay here instead of blowing up her money.

Now I am at my parents and my sil is in our home, maybe I was being petty but I hate that my wife gave up on me and left without a second thought, I don’t know whether shes cheating or cheated or she would truly cheat on me and her own blood sister with a family relative, over feuds, one thing is for sure tho, I cannot trust my wife anymore, she hurt me.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

jacksonlove3 −  I’m sorry op! The way your wife speaks on the subject of cheating is concerning. Especially that she would hide it from you. If I were in your shoes, I won’t be able to trust her either. How she doesn’t look at cheating on your SO as a huge dealbreaker is beyond me! Some couples can forgive and move past it, but not all. The baby’s father can still in his/her life. I’m sorry you’re hurting & going thru this. Hugs!

bookrants −  NTA. Your wife is a weirdo. I think it’s more that she hates her sister than that she’s worried about her baby. If she were worried, why would she get angry at you for helping your SIL? I do worry, though, that you might have endangered her by leaving her alone in your house. If your wife returns and sees her there, she might get hurt. She also will probably cheat on you if she hasn’t already. I would proceed with the divorce.

StuporCool −  Your wife told you she would cheat on you and would have no remorse to it and would also not tell you. What in that tells you she hasn’t already done that? She sympathizes with cheating probably because she’s been in that position and sees it in herself as no big deal. You obviously feel differently. Think on this for a while before you go groveling and begging for her back. I think she just told you a really big secret and expects you to understand and forgive her.

MajesticPin6411 −  She would forgive you for cheating but is happy to divorce you for having a different opinion?. Your wife is full of it. And given that ridiculous stance on betrayals I would highly question her loyalty. Don’t question my options and forgive me my betrayals because I would hypothetically forgive you for doing something I already know you find completely unacceptable!. Um? NO.

Leahthevagabond −  It sounds like the wife is having an affair and she just ran off to her affair partner. Sorry bro.

Krueger_10_92 −  Suspicious….is your wife the one he’s having an affair with….?!?!

Actual-Offer-127 −  This is incredibly sus. Is your wife having an affair as well?

jcp1195 −  Sounds to me like your wife ran to her AP. If she’s that willing to defend cheating, she’s probably a c**ater. Her disgusting disregard of the impact it has on a relationship is a major red flag. Time to speak to a lawyer.

Dresden_Mouse −  You know she is with her Affair partner right? I mean it sounds a lot like projecting and she herself is cheating, if no one really knows where she is and she sounded very ready to leave and to where.. Op this will end badly.

perpetuallyanxious13 −  NTA. The way your wife was speaking so nonchalantly about cheating… red flag.