Update: AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she wanted an open relationship, knowing my position on it?
This is the “continuation” of a post that i did before: https://aita.pics/ynHfk
For the record forgive me if this have some errors as this post will be raw and english isnt my first language.
‘ Update: AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she wanted an open relationship, knowing my position on it?’
Now, i will give you more context, its been five days since we “broke up”, during these days, I have been reflecting, mostly due to some comments on the previous post, mentioning that maybe she was always like this, that we were just incompatible, that we are young, and that she has the right to explore her sexuality or whatever.
I admit I shouldnt have done it, but I kept thinking and racking my brain more and more, was she really like this? I didn’t pay attention to this when we made the relationship official, because this felt so strange to me when we decided to make things serious cuz I asked for exclusivity, and she agreed, even emphasized it herself, which left me more and more confused.
Anyway, yesterday I ran into her (i know, that maybe was an error) I tried to ignore her, but I couldnt, since now she wanted to talk to me and I was about to reject her, but my thoughts got the better of me, and I agreed, mainly to ask her about my doubts, we went to her house, and although she tried to be nice.
I just asked her to get to the point, we sat down at the table and talked, she tried to ask me how I was doing, but I just dodged the question and then I confronted her again, asking why she was now bringing up polyamory and all that after SO much time being with me, after even SHE agreed to exclusivity and emphasized it.
When I said this, I raised my voice, basically shouting at her, then I got my answer and although it was predictable, it still shocked me.
long story short, yes, she has indeed been emotionally cheating on me and was tempted to do it physically.
I just stood there, stunned, took a deep breath, and even though I was really angry, I asked her, since when and with whom? according to her, she spent the last two months with a guy she met at her college, which coincides suspiciously with when she started acting weird, i raised my voice again, asking what she thought by not telling me did she think I was an i**ot, even trying to manipulate me to open the relationship?
She sai that, “she didn’t want to lose me, that she loved me” and as for “opening the relationship,” it was advice from her friends (I must clarify that not all of them are women), they told me her that she had the right to explore while still being with me, that they even do it, and they still with their partners, and some of their partners have NO idea about it (what a s**tty people in this life).
Honestly, I had a f**king urge to scream at her as loud as I could, but I had to keep my composure, I asked her what she did with this guy, if they were still in touch, She just told me that the same day we broke up, she slept with him but later she “regretted it,” and in these last few days, she realized her mistake and wanted to be honest with me now with the possibility to give her another opportunity.
I couldn’t deal with her anymore, and I told her she had almost three f**king months to be honest with me and instead, tried to manipulate me into falling into her trap so she could walk away without any guilt, I told her that if she wants to cry, go ahead cuz i wont give her another chance and i don’t care anymore because I lost the little respect I had for her.
With a knot in my throat from the hurt, i told her clearly that I never want to see her in my f**king life again and that if she sees me in a store, she should avoid me and go somewhere else because I don’t want to see or hear her, she broke down crying again, begging me to forgive her, grabbing my shirt to stop me from leaving, I pushed her away, opened the door, and slammed it shut once I got home, and it would be a lie to say I didn’t shed tears.
“We’re young; she wanted to explore her sexuality, and she’s right to do so.” “She was right to tell me, she is not the a**hole either.” Pure b**lshit. Now, I’m still incredibly hurt. I feel worse than when I started, and I feel like an i**ot for even crying, knowing this could have been a possibility, i will see if I can get back on my feet and move on, even though I’m still hurt that’s the only thing I can do. Man, I really thought I had a decent girlfriend 🙁
Check out how the community responded:
checkoutmywheeeppit − She wants you back cus the bloke she’s been cheating on you with fucked her and then fucked off. The grass wasn’t greener, the grass didn’t f**king want her! You aren’t an i**ot for crying, and you WILL get back on your feet. Don’t let her take anymore of your life. Good luck my friend 🙂
Any-Expression2246 − *”she had the right to explore while still being with me, that they even do it, and they still with their partners, and some of their partners have NO idea about it (what a s**tty people in this life).”*
Wow. If only someone could tell the poor partners being cheated on by these asshats. This s**t isn’t right.
cthulularoo − You should do the partners of her cheating friends a favor and expose those monsters. It’s not an open relationship if your partner doesn’t know you’re f**king other people, LMAO. And your i**ot ex was taking advice from them!
Far_Prior1058 − NTA – go NC and move on. She obviously was going to cheat no matter what and just wanted to justify it. You deserve better. Good luck and take care of yourself.. Updateme!
TheOriginalTarlin − NTA. I feel for you but let us recap. You were called inflexible, insecure and a c**ard. She wanted to cheat, she lied, she burned the bridge and has friends with the same morals.
Well you won. You held your moral high ground, inflexible, You were stong opposite of insecurity. You were brave to stand for your principles opposite of a c**ard. She fled to her lover that night… the break she wanted. Thus next time she appears calls her inflexible sleeping with others vs committed, insecure to crawl back to me and a c**ard.
Oh as a bonus I would approach everyone of her friends lovers and ask them out saying since you are in an open relationship…like to try you out like my ex girlfriend said you partner does.
GeoEatsRocks − This girl is surrounded by assholes and cheaters. Likely telling her this s**t to get into her pants as well. Until she drops these people, her life will continue to go down a bad path. Hopefully its a wake up call for her (the sleeping with some guy and losing you in the process).
I doubt it comes that easy and she will continue associating with these people wondering why she can’t land a husband. Either way, I wouldn’t worry about it and continue doing you.
SigmaK78 − It’s as I’ve said before: serial cheaters simply need to call themselves poly and leave those who believe in & practice monogamy alone.
You did right by yourself, OP. Keep your head up.
Bunstonious − She just told me that the same day we broke up, she slept with him. Wow… Just wow. Well, she got what she wanted, she ‘explored’ her sexuality. Now she has to deal with the consequences. Anyone that said you need to put up with that BS needs to pound sand. Good on you king, now find someone *worth a damn*, because she wasn’t.
skorvia − She only wants you back because things didn’t work out with the other guy. Plus (as is almost always the case with these open relationship requests) she was already cheating on you.
I’m so glad you didn’t give the c**ater another chance and her group of friends are all disgusting women. Are you friends with any of the guys who are dating them? Tell them what these trashy girlfriends do.
Suspicious_Goldfish − NTA She only wants you back because she already got the d**k.
