Should I just let go of my boyfriend because of mental health issues?

A Redditor in a long-distance relationship shares her emotional struggle, facing the weight of her declining mental health and its impact on her boyfriend. Torn between love and the desire not to burden him, she wonders if letting go might be the best choice. Read her heartfelt story below.

‘ Should I just let go of my boyfriend because of mental health issues?’

I (24F) and my boyfriend (24M) are in a long distance relationship. It’s been over an year of dating each other. I love him to d**th and always will. Since the past few months, my mental health has been going downhill. Each week gets worse.

I have had a lot on my plate. I’m stressed about the future because I have to do extremely well in some of the things, career wise. And I only get one shot for that. On top of that, most of the things haven’t been going like they should be, making me more anxious.

I work at a hospital as an intern doctor and that in itself is stressful bc of the toxic environment. I have been having panic attacks and extreme anxiety, something I have never dealt with before. I would be out in public and get panicky for no reason to the point where I can’t breathe.

I have also had extreme mood swings. When I feel upset and depressed, I get very irritated and have a tendency to be toxic to the people around me. Mainly because nobody knows how to comfort me in the moment. I know I shouldn’t put it on them because it isn’t their job, but I just get very mean.

I have tried things to get better, because I don’t want to be looked at as “that girl who is always so anxious and depressed”. I genuinely want to feel better. I tried walking, hoping it would help me out because it used to whenever I would feel upset, but it doesn’t feel good anymore.

I have tried different things, none of which have seemed to work so far. I tried a med for my anxiety which seemed to work but then it didn’t so I stopped taking it. Maybe it was placebo. I have wanted to try therapy but there aren’t any good therapists in the country that I am in.

My boyfriend has been very supportive through all this. But it seems like the time has come where it is affecting him as well. I don’t want him to feel pressured or upset because of it. I don’t want him to feel scared of me because I’m having a mood swing. That’s not fair to him.

He mentioned that he doesn’t want to get to a point where he doesn’t care about my mood anymore or where my mood gets so bad that I end up saying something that I would regret. There have also been other conversations about the future which made us doubt if we will even be together later on (as in, marry each other etc).

I just don’t know what to do. I could say that I will work harder on my mental health but it takes so much time and I’m not sure what else I can do for now. I want him to be happy and be with somebody that doesn’t make him feel scared of them or uncertain about the future.

I don’t want to be wasting his time. I love him a lot and leaving him would hurt more than anything. But I am willing to do it, if it’s a better decision.. Should I let go?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Luvystar −  I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Letting go doesn’t seem like the only choice. It’s clear you love him, and he’s been supportive, which is great. Maybe try talking to him about everything? how you’re feeling and what both of you need??

It’s okay to lean on each other, but also focus on getting better. If therapy’s hard to find in ur area, maybe try online options. Relationships are tough sometimes, but taking care of yourself will help both you and the relationship in the long run. You’re doing your best i promise

unsafeideas −  It is not better decision. Tell him about your mental state, figure out how to schedule a session with therapist.

Borophaginae −  I’m going to be entirely honest, I don’t think you should sacrifice a relationship with the person you love to d**th for a life that makes you depressed and gives you anxiety.

I know that intern doctors have it incredibly rough, and I don’t know where you are from or what alternatives are available to you, but try and stay reasonable in this situation: right now you are enduring for your career with no ensurance that this anxiety, the toxicity, will become better.

I don’t think it is fair to ask of you to just “deal with it” and act like normal because a lot of people turn moody, tired, etc. if they are constantly under these stress factors. If your only two choices are removing your loved ones from your direct proximity as to not hurt them, or go do something else,

I think the latter is the better choice. But again, I have no idea what your situation is and how doable this is for you. I just think it’s worthless to give up your happiness for things that make your life hell. If, god forbid, something happened to you tomorrow, was the breakup and career worth it? (Sorry to put it so morbidly)

StarOcean −  You know you are the problem, stop doing these things, go to therapy, get professional help and perhaps go on meds.

Navigating love and mental health challenges is never easy. Have you ever faced a situation where you questioned staying in a relationship for the sake of your partner’s well-being? How did you handle it, and what advice would you offer someone in this position? Share your thoughts below!