Should I end my relationship with my GF for ruining my birthday?

A Reddit user was looking forward to a simple birthday dinner with his girlfriend but was disappointed when she declined, citing her busy schedule. Later that evening, he received a call – from the very restaurant he had suggested –

asking him to pick her up after she had been out drinking with her friends. Now, he feels hurt and unappreciated, unsure of how to address the situation or if the relationship is even worth continuing. Read the original story below…

‘ Should I end my relationship with my GF for ruining my birthday?’

This may sound petty, but I am genuinely pissed and don’t know how to handle this situation. I don’t usually do much for my birthday, just normally go out to eat. Yesterday being my birthday, I asked my girlfriend if we could dine out at one of the local Mexican restaurants on my town after I got off work.

She said probably not, as she was going to be pretty busy that day, which is understandable as she is currently going to school and is nearing midterms. A couple of hours after getting home from work, I got a call from her asking to pick her up from the very restaurant I asked if we could go to,

as she went out with her friends and got a little tipsy. I of course went ahead to pick her up, as I didn’t want her to drive home drunk. I haven’t said a word to her since, and she doesn’t seem to understand what’s wrong. I feel hurt and unloved, and don’t know how to approach this.

See what others had to share with OP:

spencerti– −  Not unreasonable at all , actions speak bounds farther than words. It’s easy to tell someone you love them .

wehavealostchildhere −  That’s pretty fucked up. I’m not going to tell you that you should break up with her, but I would definitely say you’re justified in breaking up with her, especially if she isn’t sorry and doesn’t get why it was a j**k move.

lcollusus −  Yeah that’d definitely p**s me off and i personally would end it. Your birthday should be a special day to her but she doesn’t give a f**k

allikatkit −  Sounds like my ex bf. I begged and begged for him an me to go to the state fair for over a month. At first he said he doesn’t do rides, I said it’s ok, I really just wanted to go for the food anyways. I’d keep asking here and there, not trying to be to aggressive about it, every time he says no. I accepted it just wasn’t happening.

Then one the last day of the fair, 40 minutes before it closed for the rest of the year at 11:20pm, he calls me and asks if I want to meet him there. A friend of his had convinced him in one hour to go and they had been there for 2 hours before he even called me. His apology consisted of “I didn’t have that much fun even though I went on some rides”

What your gf did was extremely hurtful and you are fully justified. Like other comments said talk to her first before jumping to drastic decisions, get her side of the picture. At the same time what she did was not very thoughtful at all. I hope you find a solution and feel better. Happy B-lated birthday.

AberdeenStrangler −  Did she even wish you a happy birthday without prompting? Seems like you GF is self absorbed and doesn’t see you/your feelings as a priority, how long have you been a couple? I’d speak to her, let her know how .her actions have made you feel and that you wouldn’t think of treating her like that on her birthday. You have to decide your future with this person based on that conversation.

Vixen_649 −  I think you did the right thing by not letting her drive drunk but she’s clearly not making you a priority/ doesn’t care about your wishes.

[Reddit User] −  That’s extremely insensitive of her to have you pick her up at the exact same restaurant you asked her to go to. I mean when did she and friends make plans to go? Did they pick that restaurant prior to you asking? If so, why didn’t she ask to meet you there. I mean you could have even joined AFTER they hung out.

If not, did she passive-aggressively suggest the restaurant and then call you to spite you? She couldn’t call Uber? I mean that’s just such a blatantly selfish thing to do.
Is she mad at you for something? IMO, this seems spiteful.

SnarkIsMyDefault −  She went drinking but didn’t take you on your special day??? Kick that b\*tch to the curb…You aren’t Uber.

gladiolas −  Sounds like a passive aggressive way to send you a message that she’s checked out of the relationship. Not just going out with her friends instead of you but to go to the very restaurant? Very passive aggressive. She wants out but isn’t brave enough to tell you. Cut her loose now. I think you’re justified as it says a lot about your relationship/her level of interest in you as a person with feelings.

KatagatCunt −  Looking at your post history it is clear she doesn’t care about you as she should. Letting her brother move in without consulting you, and even letting him stay after he kicks your cat. Not OK. But this, this sticks out to me “My name is on the lease and I currently pay 100% of the bills.

I am genuinely thinking about contacting my landlord to let him know we have someone living in our house not on the lease, so I’m not the one that has to kick him out.” You pay for everything, and all you wanted was to take your gf out on your birthday (which im assuming youd be paying for since you pay for everything)

and spend time with her, she says she can’t make time for that but apparently she has time to go out and drink there anyways with friends? I wonder who paid for her drinks since apparently she can’t contribute to bills in a shared household. Sorry OP, it sounds like she’s right checked out and not respecting you or your relationship.

Edit to add – OP, we are just internet strangers that havent been there through the ups and downs of your 6 year relationship, and for all we know these could be the only things wrong in your relationship, but in saying that, these are all *huge* red flags, from your girlfriend and family basically forcing her brother upon you with no consideration,

to her not contributing financially at all (which school can be tough, but a small part time job would help a lot), to then allowing animals abuse. If your girlfriend sees nothing wrong with any of this and unless she *actively* starts rectifying her actions, i don’t see anything getting better.

It seems she also does not stand up for you and your relationship with her family which will not bode well for the future, be prepared to be manipulated and walked on from her and her family unless you and her both put your foot down with them.

Her mother says if her brother moves back in shes going to get divorced, but she obviously doesn’t care about the strain happening in your own relationship due to this. That’s messed up. I understand that 6 years is a long time, but its ok to walk away and move on and take this as a learning experience.

Don’t be too sad, you gained perspective and have grown over these years. Be safe and good luck, and please *please* love Those kitty’s for me, and dont let that f**k hurt then again, if he does, hit him for me.

Was this an honest mistake or a major red flag? Should he talk it out or reconsider the relationship altogether? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!