My brother admitted to a “prank” that drastically changed my life 7 years ago.

Family can be full of surprises—some good, and some that leave lasting scars. Our OP, then a 17‑year‑old college hopeful, believed he had lost out on a prestigious local scholarship. Little did he know, his older brother, now 27, orchestrated a “prank” that redirected the scholarship away from him, leaving him with tens of thousands in student loan debt.
That revelation, coming years later as his brother struggles with addiction and seeks amends, has forced him to reexamine their fractured relationship. Is it fair to hold onto this grudge, or should he find a way to forgive and move on?
‘My brother admitted to a “prank” that drastically changed my life 7 years ago.’
Expert Opinion
Family disputes over financial decisions can leave emotional wounds that persist for years. Dr. Susan Johnson, a well‑known family therapist, explains, “When a sibling’s actions directly impact another’s future, especially in ways that alter life trajectories, the resulting trauma can be deep and long‑lasting.” In this case, our OP’s experience isn’t just about missing out on a scholarship—it’s about a breach of trust that has burdened him with debt and affected his self‑worth.
Dr. Johnson continues, “Forgiveness in such scenarios is a personal journey. It does not mean condoning the behavior but rather choosing to reclaim your own peace of mind.” Her insight suggests that while our OP’s anger is justified, holding onto that resentment indefinitely may only hinder his personal growth.
On the other hand, sibling dynamics are notoriously complex. Research in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that unresolved sibling conflicts can have long‑term negative effects on mental health. In our OP’s situation, the pain from this “prank” is compounded by years of unspoken rivalry and perceived betrayal.
Another perspective comes from financial counselor Dr. Michael P. Nichols, who notes, “When a single event leads to significant financial hardship, it’s natural to feel anger and resentment. However, it’s important to evaluate whether that anger is serving your future or anchoring you in past trauma.” His advice highlights that while the brother’s actions were undeniably hurtful and irresponsible, the decision to cut him out completely might close the door on potential healing.
Ultimately, experts agree that addressing the emotional fallout from such an incident may require professional support. Therapy can help siblings understand the roots of their conflict and perhaps rebuild a relationship based on new boundaries. The key is whether our OP sees value in forgiving—not to erase what happened, but to liberate himself from the lasting financial and emotional burden.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Overall, most Reddit users empathize with the OP’s feelings and validate his anger, noting that his brother’s actions had a serious, lasting impact on his future. Many agree that if a family member’s “prank” costs you tens of thousands and leaves you with a heavy emotional and financial burden, it’s completely understandable to feel betrayed and consider cutting ties. A few commenters suggest that while forgiving might help in the long run, the OP’s decision to set firm boundaries is justified given the severity of the situation.
In conclusion, our OP’s story is a stark reminder that family can sometimes be the source of our deepest wounds. His brother’s reckless “prank” not only robbed him of a scholarship but also altered his financial future, leaving him with burdens that still affect him today.
While experts acknowledge that forgiveness is a personal choice and that setting boundaries is crucial for self‑preservation, the question remains: Should he hold onto this resentment or find a way to move forward? What would you do if faced with a betrayal that changed your life forever? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others navigate similar family conflicts.
I had someone offer amends to me after AA, apologizing for the terrifyingly hateful and grotesque way he bullied me for years. It was my husband’s adult son. I never told his dad because they had a difficult relationship and I didn’t want to make it worse. Years later, after his dad died, he called to apologize. For years I suffered PTSD and his horror toward me altered my forever emotional health. I’m a writer…I wrote all of his harm, hurt and damage down…and mailed it. And I dumped all the guilt and responsibility back in his lap. My healing began, but there are scars. I don’t care what fueled his hateful anger. He owns it, not me.
Demand a written apology from him. When he delivers it, take it to a lawyer and set the wheels in motion for a lawsuit.