My best friend (23/F) tried to test me (21/F) by asking her husband (34/M) to text me to cheat. I passed her test but I’m offended by what she did.

A Reddit user shared a troubling incident where her best friend, Sarah, tested her loyalty by having Sarah’s husband, Austin, send flirtatious texts to see if she would confront her about it. While the user passed the test, she feels deeply hurt and betrayed by the unnecessary “loyalty check,”

especially since her insecurities were used against her in the process. Now, she’s questioning her feelings and wondering if she’s overreacting. Read the full story below to explore the complexities of this friendship.

‘ My best friend (23/F) tried to test me (21/F) by asking her husband (34/M) to text me to cheat. I passed her test but I’m offended by what she did.’

My friend *Sarah has been married for six months now. I’ve known her since we were in 3rd grade and we go to college together. A few days ago I got a text message from her husband *Austin saying “I like you more than I like her”. I didn’t text him back then he said “Wanna do something later?”I ignored him again then he said “Don’t ignore my texts”.

I texted him saying “What? I’m Lilly” Then he said “I know you’re Lilly.” I said “Ok why are you texting me this?”. He said “because I really like you.”. I said “ok bye” After that he sent me 10+ text messages telling me how beautiful he thinks I am and that I look 10x better now that I had my braces removed. He was basically flirting with me.

Next morning I saw them at school, I didn’t say anything but he was giving me a “I wanna f**k you” looks… Whatever that is. When we got separated from him to go to our classes I told Sarah about what happened. I told her “I’m not a home wrecker and I hope you marriage works,

but Austin sent me these texts” as I searched for the messages she stopped me and said “you passed our test. Austin and I wanted to see if you would confront me of what he did.” It was so weird. I said ok. We went to class and the day went by quickly. We even saw him and they laughed it off. It’s been two days now and I feel betrayed.

It was so unnecessary and I’m offended by the fact that she feels the need to test her best friend’s loyalty. I’m even more offended to know that they both came up with these compliments out of my own insecurities that only her is aware of. She’s the only one who knows how bad I feel about my teeth.

She’s the only one who knows about how insecure I am when it comes to my skin tone. And I have to admit that it lifted my self esteem to hear this from him but I still thought it was not loyal of him. I feel bad to know that she used my insecurities to trap me into cheating with her husband then confront me… She thinks I’m ok with it. I’m not ok at all. I may have acted ok that day but it was because I was shocked. Am I being childish?? Maybe it was just a joke and I’m taking it too seriously??

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

surely_going_to_hell −  I passed your test, but in doing this you failed what is required of a friend. Goodbye.

Montaron87 −  That’s not a test, it’s a setup. And friends don’t set up friends like that.

longobong0 −  Honestly, your friend is immature. She’s one of those immature girls who assumes she’s *super* mature for her age because she’s married to a 34 year old man, but the reality of the situation is that they’re *both* immature. Being “tested” in this way is.. well, understandable if not expected from immature people. I would tell my friend that I did not appreciate her “test,” and I would distance myself from the two of them.

terminator3456 −  WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

myexpertthrowaway −  She is not your friend, you are being used as a pawn in whatever game she is playing with her husband.

[Reddit User] −  So she doesn’t trust her husband. That’s my take on it and she wants to make sure her friends would not take him up on any offers of cheating. Either way, this woman has serious problems and the fact that her husband would go along with this means he’s got problems as well. I’d get very far away from these two.

jdyoun02 −  It’s not a joke. She’s a s**tty person. Don’t be friends with s**tty people.

iownakeytar −  You test students to see what they’ve learned. You test a battery to see if it’s got any power left. You test drive a car at a dealership to see if it’s the one you want.
You don’t test your friends, family, or spouses, if you want to keep them around.

What she did was childish and pointless, and not what friends do to people who are really their friends, especially someone they’ve known most of their lives! I’d cut contact with her. Raging b**ch.

hcgator −  I hate your friend. So she’s 23, but she married a man 11 years older then her? Okay, lemme take a stab at this . . . The age difference is totally okay because “she so much more mature than her 23 years.” And being with an older guy (which there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with) is so much better because he’s a real man, mature, set, accomplished.

In fact, more women would be with older men if they could, but they can’t because they are not as smart, mature, beautiful and amazing as Sarah. Even if I’m wrong about Sarah’s character, I’m sure about the following . . . This was not about you. There wasn’t really a test. Why the hell would you try to seduce the much older husband of your lifelong best friend?

She is the one who is childish.Maybe they just did this to be mean. If so, they did a good job. Maybe they were trying to gauge you for a threesome. Maybe the husband is attracted to you and this is Sarah’s stupid way of diffusing it. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a test of your loyalty.

BurleyQGirl −  This is an incredibly f**king weird thing for a couple to do together. “Hey, how about you hit on my friend and we’ll see what she does?” “Cool, I’ll go send her a dozen text messages right now and then give her f**k-me looks in class, lol!” Like…why? It seems like she’s just *trying* to stir s**t and manufacture opportunities for drama.

If you had responded to him hitting on you, or just ignored him and not said anything to her, then she could have blown up about your betrayal and blah blah. “Oh, OP has never *actually* gone behind my back or tried to steal my boyfriends, but let’s see what she’d do if *this* happened. Reality’s not giving me anything,

so let’s make up some hypotheticals and engineer some fake situations and see if I can find a reason to get pissed.” You’re not being childish, she is. And this is not the behavior of someone who values your friendship. She doesn’t get to “test” you or use you to amuse herself.

Was Sarah’s “test” out of line, or should the user let it go as a harmless prank? How would you handle discovering your best friend felt the need to test your loyalty in this way? Share your thoughts and advice below!