my 31m fiancé threatened to take my 29f child from me while drunk.

A wife expresses her growing frustration with her husband’s constant habit of disagreeing or dismissing her opinions. She feels invalidated and emotionally defeated, as attempts to address the issue are met with denial or resistance. Despite her love for him, she’s begun to withdraw emotionally, feeling that her voice no longer matters in the marriage.

Her suggestions for therapy or compromise have been rejected, leaving her unsure of how to save the relationship when her husband seems unwilling to meet her halfway. To explore her story further and share your thoughts, continue reading below…

‘ my 31m fiancé threatened to take my 29f child from me while drunk. ‘

Happy New Year everyone! What a way to kick it off. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, reflecting on the past few years and the tough moments I’ve faced. Recently, I had an experience that has forced me to confront some hard truths. During a night of heavy drinking, my fiancé and I got into a huge fight—something that’s unfortunately become more common in our relationship.

This wasn’t the first time we’ve had these types of arguments when we drink, but it was by far the worst. A lot of the times we drink together, it doesn’t end well. His temper flares up, and it seems like we both get caught up in the heat of the moment, only for him to say horrible, hurtful things.

But this last time, the words that came out of his mouth were something I never expected to hear. He called me stupid, worthless, and a bad mother. He even told me that he would take my child away from me. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

I’ve heard him say things in anger before, but never anything that severe. He doesn’t do this when he’s sober, and he doesn’t drink often, but those words are still etched into my mind. I don’t know how I allowed myself to stay in this situation, but this time, it crossed the line. I was shaken, devastated, and just at a loss for what to do. That night made me realize that there are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed, no matter how upset someone is.

Our relationship has been a rollercoaster from the start. There have been so many ups and downs, and while I love him deeply, I’ve been under a lot of stress for years. I’ve always tried to support him through everything, especially with the grief he’s experienced over the past three years.

But this grief has been slowly eating away at him, turning into anger, and it’s affecting both of us. I can feel it—he’s become progressively more irritable, more prone to outbursts, and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells just waiting for the next explosion.

I want to believe that things can get better, that he can work through his issues. But I’ve realized that I can’t keep going down this path of constant emotional turmoil. I need to think about my daughter and what’s best for her too. I don’t want her growing up in an environment where verbal abuse is commonplace.

It’s not something I want for her, and I certainly don’t want to set the example that it’s okay for anyone to treat people that way. I’ve suggested therapy for both of us, hoping that it could help us work through our problems and find healthier ways to communicate. But I think it might be best if we go about it while separated for a while.

I want us both to have space to reflect, to heal, and to really figure out what we need in order to move forward, either together or apart. I feel so conflicted because, despite everything, I still love him. But I also know that love isn’t enough when it comes to respect, trust, and emotional safety.

I’m struggling with whether I’m making the right choice for my daughter and I. I’ve been trying to weigh all the options and think carefully, but I just want to make sure I’m doing what’s best for us. Am I being too hasty? Should I be giving him more time to work on himself before making any drastic decisions? Or is this the wake-up call I needed to finally step away and focus on creating a healthier environment for my daughter?

I’m really lost right now and could use some perspective on this. I’ve been holding onto hope that things would improve, but at this point, I’m not sure what the future holds. I just want to make the right decision for both my well-being and my daughter’s future. I hope I’m not overreacting, but I don’t know what else to do.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

OkLocksmith2064 −  You break up with him and concentrate on your child. You need therapy. Stop caring about him. Be a role model for your child so she can avoid making the same mistakes you did.

OutlandishnessOk790 −  Separating is definitely the right choice for you and your daughter, you’re showing her it’s unacceptable to be treated like this.

gringaellie −  EX fiancé, right? Your duty is to protect your child.

Silent-Yak-4331 −  Time to call it quits especially for your daughter. By staying all you are doing is showing her it’s okay to be treated like crap. And cool it with the drinking. We make irrational decisions when drinking.

CrazyLeadership5397 −  You shouldn’t put up with that behavior. He shouldn’t be drinking if he’s an angry drunk. You should definitely separate. Don’t marry him, whatever you do. 

safetyman1006 −  Any person who makes drunken threats is NOT someone to spend your life with. Protect your daughter and get sober.

redditonthanet −  Drunk truths are sober thoughts, remove yourself from the situation you don’t need to be with someone that doesn’t like you

Beautiful-Elephant34 −  Dude, your man threatened to take your child, why is that not the end of your relationship with him? You want what is best for you and your daughter? This man isn’t it. What are you doing? When my man gets drunk he gets silly and sometimes a little handsy, that’s it.

Your man unleashes a torrent of abuse. Abuse that he is keeping to himself until he is too drunk to keep it to himself anymore. Abuse that he is keeping to himself until he has you completely locked in. This isn’t a moment that calls for therapy. It’s a moment that calls for you drawing a line and sticking to it.

TacoKnights −  My parents were like this growing up. You’re doing the right thing.

Square-Deal3609 −  First, STOP DRINKING. Especially around this guy. Second, GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY. This is most emphatically NOT going to get better, only worse.. PLEASSSSSSSSE leave.