my 31m fiancé threatened to take my 29f child from me while drunk.

A wife expresses her growing frustration with her husband’s constant habit of disagreeing or dismissing her opinions. She feels invalidated and emotionally defeated, as attempts to address the issue are met with denial or resistance. Despite her love for him, she’s begun to withdraw emotionally, feeling that her voice no longer matters in the marriage.

Her suggestions for therapy or compromise have been rejected, leaving her unsure of how to save the relationship when her husband seems unwilling to meet her halfway. To explore her story further and share your thoughts, continue reading below…

‘ my 31m fiancé threatened to take my 29f child from me while drunk. ‘

My husband has this infuriating habit of never agreeing with me. It’s like every single thing I say—whether it’s something casual or more serious—is met with resistance. It’s always either “no” or a dismissive “yes, but…” It’s gotten to the point where I feel like there’s no point in even speaking anymore.

I can’t remember the last time he simply agreed with me without adding some kind of correction or contradiction. It’s exhausting. What’s worse is that whenever I try to address this behavior, he denies it outright. “I don’t do that,” he’ll say, which ironically feels like just another way of disagreeing with me.

It’s so frustrating because the very thing I’m trying to talk about ends up happening in the middle of the conversation! I’m left feeling unheard, invalidated, and stuck in a cycle I can’t seem to break. I don’t think he realizes how much this is affecting me—or maybe he does, and he just doesn’t care. Either way, it’s crushing.

I feel like I’m wilting in this marriage, emotionally defeated by his constant need to push back on everything I say. I’ve tried different approaches to get through to him—calm conversations, emotional pleas, even a bit of anger—but nothing seems to work. He doesn’t acknowledge my feelings, let alone take responsibility for how his behavior impacts me.

I’ve even brought up the idea of therapy as a way to work through this together, but that’s always a hard no from him. It’s like he’s completely closed off to any suggestion that there might be a problem, let alone a solution. I can’t make progress if he won’t even admit there’s an issue.

At this point, I feel like I’m “quietly quitting” my marriage. I’ve started withdrawing emotionally because I don’t see any other way to cope. I’ve stopped bringing up my thoughts or ideas as much because it’s just not worth the argument or the inevitable dismissal. But that’s not the kind of relationship I want. I want a partnership where I feel heard and valued, not like I’m constantly being undermined.

I don’t know what to do. I love my husband, but I don’t feel like I can continue in a marriage where my voice feels like it doesn’t matter. How do you reach someone who refuses to listen? How do you save a relationship when one person isn’t willing to meet you halfway?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

OkLocksmith2064 −  You break up with him and concentrate on your child. You need therapy. Stop caring about him. Be a role model for your child so she can avoid making the same mistakes you did.

OutlandishnessOk790 −  Separating is definitely the right choice for you and your daughter, you’re showing her it’s unacceptable to be treated like this.

gringaellie −  EX fiancé, right? Your duty is to protect your child.

Silent-Yak-4331 −  Time to call it quits especially for your daughter. By staying all you are doing is showing her it’s okay to be treated like crap. And cool it with the drinking. We make irrational decisions when drinking.

CrazyLeadership5397 −  You shouldn’t put up with that behavior. He shouldn’t be drinking if he’s an angry drunk. You should definitely separate. Don’t marry him, whatever you do. 

safetyman1006 −  Any person who makes drunken threats is NOT someone to spend your life with. Protect your daughter and get sober.

redditonthanet −  Drunk truths are sober thoughts, remove yourself from the situation you don’t need to be with someone that doesn’t like you

Beautiful-Elephant34 −  Dude, your man threatened to take your child, why is that not the end of your relationship with him? You want what is best for you and your daughter? This man isn’t it. What are you doing? When my man gets drunk he gets silly and sometimes a little handsy, that’s it.

Your man unleashes a torrent of abuse. Abuse that he is keeping to himself until he is too drunk to keep it to himself anymore. Abuse that he is keeping to himself until he has you completely locked in. This isn’t a moment that calls for therapy. It’s a moment that calls for you drawing a line and sticking to it.

TacoKnights −  My parents were like this growing up. You’re doing the right thing.

Square-Deal3609 −  First, STOP DRINKING. Especially around this guy. Second, GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY. This is most emphatically NOT going to get better, only worse.. PLEASSSSSSSSE leave.