My 30M bf asked for a girls number and disguised it as his mom’s name 29F?
A 29-year-old woman is grappling with doubts about her three-year relationship after discovering suspicious behavior from her 30-year-old boyfriend. While looking through his phone, she found two contacts saved under his mom’s name, one of which was a girl’s number he had disguised. This discovery, combined with a past incident where he downloaded a dating app and paid for a subscription,
has made her question his commitment and trustworthiness. Although he apologized both times, she is now unsure if she should forgive him again or if this is indicative of a deeper issue in their relationship. To find out more about how others have handled similar situations, read the full story below…
‘ My 30M bf asked for a girls number and disguised it as his mom’s name 29F?’
I’m a 29-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my 30-year-old boyfriend for three years now. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs, but recently, something came to light that has been bothering me a lot.
While I was looking through his phone (which I know isn’t ideal, but I was feeling suspicious), I found two contacts saved under his mom’s name. What raised a red flag for me was that the area code for both numbers matched the one for his city, and I know for sure that I have his mom’s actual number saved in my phone.
So, I couldn’t help but wonder why he would save these contacts under her name instead of their real names. When I brought it up, he admitted that one of the contacts was a girl’s number, and he had disguised it as his mom’s name. This immediately made me feel uneasy. It didn’t sit right with me that he would hide it in such a way.
On top of that, I remembered something from a while ago—I found out that he had downloaded a dating app while we were together. To make it worse, he paid for a subscription, spending $10 on it. We discussed it, and he apologized, saying it was just “casual” and that he wouldn’t do it again.
At the time, I forgave him, hoping it was just a mistake, but now, with this new discovery, I’m starting to question everything again. He says that he’s sorry and that it won’t happen again, but this feels like a pattern, and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to just keep forgiving him. Am I overreacting? Or is this a bigger issue than I’m realizing?
I’ve always been very clear with him about my boundaries. If a guy approaches me, even just to make casual conversation, I always make sure to let him know that I’m in a committed relationship and shut the conversation down immediately.
So, it doesn’t make sense to me why he would need to get a girl’s number when he has so many friends and people in his life that he could rely on. I’m just really struggling with whether this is something I should forgive again, or if I’m being disrespected and my feelings are being dismissed. I feel hurt, confused, and a little lost about what to do next. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Am I being too sensitive, or is this a sign of a deeper issue in our relationship?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
ProfessionGuilty7985 − NO. Don’t. Run girl
Suefrogs − The number may not be an issue but the dating app and the hiding the number definitely are.
sempreblu − Which one do you crave more, the disrespectful company or the std he will eventually give you?
wishingforarainyday − C’mon. He’s cheating and it sounds like it’s common. Get tested and leave this AH.
MildLittlRain − Leave. You can do better
TheMrEM4N − I’d be concerned with what else he’s hiding. He hasn’t changed. He’s just going to get better at hiding it.
davekayaus − How would I feel? I would feel like I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with someone who is actively seeking other partners and hiding it from me.
Advice: D**p him. He is not committed to you.
Rosscosity − He’s looking to see if he can find someone else without breaking up with you. You deserve better
thatthiqqqqbabe − I found tinder on my exes phone two years ago. I sent him screenshots and blocked him and haven’t spoken to him since. He did it after begging for me back after I broke up with him.
There’s honestly nothing lower. He’s either a serial cheater or monkey branching. Break up with him you can do better
mushygoop − Girl wtf???? Leave him. He was obviously trying to cheat and hide it from you, then acted like it was nothing when you found out. Leave
Do you think the user should continue to forgive her boyfriend for these repeated breaches of trust, or is this a pattern she should no longer tolerate? How would you navigate a relationship where boundaries are continuously tested? Share your thoughts below and join the discussion!