My (26F) friend (23F) injured my eye and I lost half my vision. How do I continue this friendship?

A Redditor (26F) shares the experience of injuring her eye while playing badminton with her friend, Dana (23F), at school. The injury, caused by a racket to her eye, has resulted in the loss of half her vision, and though she sought medical attention, Dana’s lack of concern and nervous laughter during the incident is causing tension.

The Redditor feels both physically and emotionally hurt, especially since Dana continues to joke about it. She is unsure how to continue the friendship and is also considering asking Dana for financial compensation for her medical expenses. Read the original story below:

‘ My (26F) friend (23F) injured my eye and I lost half my vision. How do I continue this friendship?’

I’m (26F) in dental school right now and my friends and I went to play badminton at school. I was with one partner and we were playing really well. Then we wanted to rotate partners so I got paired with a girl, I’ll call her Dana. She doesn’t really play sports but it seemed like she really wanted to be my partner. So I said sure.

While playing, we bumped into each other a lot. I don’t think she’s very good at sports. When I called on the birdie she would still go for it. Long story short, we collided once more but this time she swung her racket directly on my eye. I lost my vision for two hours and I went to the ER. It was just grey. Nothing else.

But she was laughing the entire time, I feel like it was nervous laughter. I tried to stay calm and positive just because all my friends were there. We’re also going to be in the same class for the next 4 years and I didn’t want to create tension. Either way I noticed the entire time she was just laughing.

She went to the ER with me but she was still kinda nervously laughing. I had to go to the ophthalmologist next morning at 8am and the tests they did on me were uncomfortable and painful. It made me think about how I’m spending the one day during dental school where I could’ve taken a break,

instead I spent it there and I was dilated that I couldn’t study the entire day. Everything was blurry for about 7 hours. Doctors said I have damage on my retina and some bleeding in the back of my eye. My vision should return in 1-4 months, but there’s a risk this vision loss could be permanent.

And then there was a get together with the same friends and she was there. She was laughing the entire time again and joked about my eye too. She doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation and it irks me. Now I want to ask her for compensation. Cover all my Uber fees going to and from the hospital. And my optometry appt fees.

I didn’t go to class today because my eye didn’t feel great and I didn’t want to see her face either. Today she went for sushi with our classmates and I saw the group photo and she’s smiling so widely, it bothers me even more. I don’t really know how to handle this situation.

I don’t want to create drama, or tension. I also don’t want to affect my relationships with my other friends in our friend group. But I’m f**king pissed man. And scared that this could be permanent.

How do I continue this friendship? I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t think her parents know either. I didn’t tell my parents because they’re going on a Europe trip and I don’t want to worry them when they finally got a vacation. I just feel stuck.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Fjordgard −  My dude, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. You should have already realized by now that Dana doesn’t really care about your eye or your costs or, you know, you in general. She’s not your friend. A friend would have apologized, asked you what they can do to help, offered to take you to appointments, helped you study to make up for the time lost… she did none of that.

So, step one? Realize that there is no “friendship” to continue. Dana is *not* a friend. Step two, you need to decide if you want to be compensated or if you don’t want to create drama. You can’t have both, that much is clear, since Dana doesn’t care about you, but cares a lot about herself (as you have seen by her general attitude, even just during playing with you, doing what she wanted).

If you don’t wanna rock the boat… well, then continue to do nothing. If you wanna get compensation, talk to a lawyer and find out what your options and chances are in the first place.

Those will vary depending on where you live, of course. Once you are well-informed about your options, decide on what option you want to offer to Dana, if you want to do so in an act of kindness. See what she says. If she refuses, hand matters to your lawyer.

rosekeyunfounddoor −  Hi there, from a person with vision in only one eye because I lost my left one to cancer when I was a baby. If it is permanent, I promise you can live a long, happy life with vision in one eye. The adjustment period will s**k, that I’ve heard from people who lost it later in life.

But I drive, snowboard, play tennis, do krav maga (just passed my first belt test!) and generally live my every day with one just fine. Rooting for you to get your sight back, but please know all hope isn’t lost if you don’t! PS – I’m 35 now.

DKG320_ −  Before you blow things up- speak to her and let her know the severity of the situation. I know you’re upset but speak calmly and rationally, request compensation. If you’re concerned about how she may react, maybe ask for a third, unbiased person to be there. If she gives you trouble then spend money on professionals.

BathAcceptable1812 −  Sue her and forget the acquaintance. She’s no friend. Maybe she’ll think and learn and stop being mindless. She IS responsible for your loss of vision and all medical bills and any future expenses and problems due to this. Sometimes in life you just need to take care of yourself.

Bear_Necessities1 −  Have you told her about the severity of the situation? If so, then she doesn’t care and isn’t worth your friendship. Even if she doesn’t know right now and you tell her about how severe the situation is and how it’s not ok, it doesn’t mean you have to continue with being her friend.

Also, she should be paying for the medical expenses. It’s her fault. Editing to add: Also, tell her you could be permanently blind in one eye because of her and it’s nothing to joke about.

Lambsenglish −  Charging someone for costs incurred due to a sports accident is usually reliant on you being able to prove negligence, or having an insurance policy to claim against. As neither is the case, if you have a problem with her behaviour, why not simply try telling her this?

mimic-man77 −  Did you make her aware of the severity of the injury? I get the feeling you’re upset at her lack of concern, and I understand, especially if she knows how bad things are.

BigPotato-69 −  It was an accident. I don’t see how she owes you money per se. But I am also not American so not into the “just sue them” culture. What she does owe you is an apology. Sounds like someone you could do without based on how she’s reacted to this whole thing.

I’d be offering food, school notes, study buddy etc if I accidentally hurt a friend and the consequence was something as severe as their vision. I don’t blame you if you don’t want anything to do with Dana but I would confront her for an apology at the least. Hope your eye gets better OP.

BetYouThoughtOfThis −  Getting hurt while playing a sport is a risk you take. She did not maliciously intend to injure you and it’s not right to try to make her pay for any aspect of your injury.

She may not know how severely injured you are. She may be smiling or laughing because she’s nervous. Just speak to her, but not as an enemy. Tell her that you have really been struggling since the injury you got while playing with her. Don’t get into what ‘might’ happen, just what has happened so far. See how that goes first.

take_number_two −  I can’t believe everyone here is saying to sue, that’s ridiculous. It wasn’t on purpose, getting hurt playing sports is a risk you take when you play. I’m sure a lawyer would tell you the same.

How should the Redditor address her feelings toward Dana and the injury? Should she request compensation or focus on repairing the friendship? How would you approach a situation like this—balancing the need for understanding and the desire for accountability? Share your advice and thoughts below!