My [23F] roommate [18M] continues making fried chicken and it makes me very uncomfortable.
A Redditor shared their concern about their new roommate’s habit of making fried chicken, despite a previous incident that caused severe burns to another person. The situation has sparked feelings of discomfort, especially regarding safety and shared living conditions. Read the full story below.
‘ My [23F] roommate [18M] continues making fried chicken and it makes me very uncomfortable.’
I live in staff housing at my job. My partner [31M] is a seasoned veteran at this job and it’s my first year here. We live with another couple, who are fine to live with, and our new roommate, the intern, “Louis” just moved in. At his last house, a couple months ago, Louis was making fried chicken and let the oil get too hot.
It was on fire, and his other two roommates noticed it while his back was turned and jumped into action. One of them put water on the fire (stupid mistake obviously), and when it got worse she picked up the pan to take it outside and the oil splashed all over her arm, giving her third degree burns. She could have lost her hand.
Since then, that girl has had to leave work and go home and see a burn specialist, and has been in excruciating pain. This was a traumatic thing for her, and Louis has not apologized for his fault in the matter, instead making jokes about it. And Louis has continued to make fried chicken. Every. Single. Night. It’s all he eats.
He invited us over one night, made a HUGE mess of the kitchen, and produced bland fried chicken. Before we left, we asked if we could help him clean up, and he said “No, this is going to wait until tomorrow anyway.” This is a horrible idea because all the staff houses have serious mice issues.
Last night was the night Louis moved in. We were talking with him about expectations for the house, specifically the fridge, and he mentioned he was going to have ingredients for fried chicken in there. My heart sank and I got really nervous.
The kitchen is right below our bedroom. I am super nervous about another fire, especially as my partner and I are leaving on a long distance hike in February and we are leaving all our stuff in this house. I also work really hard to keep our kitchen clean and I really don’t want him to treat it the way I saw him treat his old kitchen.
Our other two roommates are on vacation until January but I feel like they’re not going to be comfortable with this either. My partner doesn’t seem to care and seems to think I’m being mean.
So I guess my question is: am I being mean? Am I being petty? Am I bitter that my friend got hurt and that Louis has not apologized? Should I just let the kid make his fried chicken? Or do I have a right to state that I’m feeling uncomfortable?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
huammaye − You don’t get to tell him to not make specific foods. What you and your roommates CAN do is make kitchen rules. Reasonable rules would be not leaving stove unattended while cooking, and rules about proper and timely clean-up of dishes,
countertops, stove, putting things away after use, timely and proper disposal of food scraps/garbage that might attract pests, etc. And if he jokes about his burnt friend again, tell him he’s being an a**hole. Ask him what’s funny about her being scarred and in pain?
rubyywoo − From a purely practical standpoint can you discuss buying a countertop deep fryer if nothing else? That at least reduces the stovetop hot oil.
DiveCat − It is so bizarre someone would specifically mention they would “have ingredients for fried chicken” in the fridge. Anyway, seems like your options are to move out of staff housing or see if he will be willing to use a countertop fryer instead.
Make house rules – together – to deal with kitchen clean up. And if he jokes again about the burned friend tell him he is an a**hole, even if she was a bit stupid herself for how she dealt with the fire she is in pain and scarred for life.
TexFiend − I don’t think you can reasonably require him to stop cooking fried chicken. From what you wrote, there are a few main issues. So take a look at each of the issues separately, and come up with ways of dealing with them/preparing for them.
1) He’s careless with cooking/doesn’t know what he’s doing. He let the oil get too hot when frying chicken and it caught on fire.
If he isn’t experienced at cooking, or is careless in general – then your house is in danger no matter what he cooks. So don’t get too focused on the fried chicken specifically.
If you feel he’d be receptive, you could talk to him about general cooking safety rules for the house. Make sure he knows how to tell if oil is at the right temperature (tackle new cooking problems as they arise).
2) How to fight oil fires. It’s not obvious to someone who has never dealt with one – as evidenced by what happened to his old house mate. So make sure you’re prepared for it. Act as if it’s only a matter of time before it happens. Read up on the best ways to fight one/talk to your local fire department for tips.
Have a small fire extinguisher in the kitchen. Have everyone in the house get together and practice how to use it etc. It may not happen, but if it does, everyone in the house will know what to do.
Note: everyone should be clear that unless the fire is VERY small and VERY contained, the best thing to do is to immediately leave the house, and call the fire department. Your possessions are not worth your lives.
3) You’re leaving on the big trip and won’t be able to supervise him/guard your possessions. But. You couldn’t necessarily stop the house from burning down even if you stayed. Fire can gut a place in minutes, so your only option for completely eliminating all risk of a fire happening without your knowledge would be to sit by the oven 24/7.
So reduce your risk. Make sure you have insurance for your possessions, to take care of replacing the things you need. Itemize the important things you own, take photos of them and store it all on the cloud (to make the insurance process easier if the worst should happen).
Make sure you have enough money saved that you could stay in a hotel for a night or two upon your return, if you returned to find the place turned to ash and cinders. If you have possessions with extreme sentimental or financial value?
Get them out of the house before you leave. Box them up and leave them with trustworthy friends/family, or hire a storage unit for the time you’ll be away (or, if you can afford it, store them until you move out entirely).
4). New guy is either a j**k or clueless. Or both. He hasn’t apologized for his actions, and he jokes about them. You can’t do anything about the apology – so try not to think about it. You’re not the one that was harmed by his actions.
But you CAN speak up when he jokes about it to you. “I don’t find it funny that your actions lead to someone getting terribly injured. I don’t want you to ever bring it up with me again.” But you need to be prepared that he might point out that only the fire was his fault.
The direct cause of her burns was her own inappropriate handling of an oil fire. She put water on it, then tried to physically shift the water/oil/fire with it slopping everywhere. If she had seen the fire,
then immediately left the building, and called the fire department, she would have been fine. Don’t make her mistake if you do find yourself in a similar position – your life and health are far more important than the things you own.
5) You can absolutely institute house rules about cleaning. Maybe that dishes MUST be cleaned the same night, to avoid attracting mice. If he won’t agree to that, then you need to deal with it the way you’d deal with any other flatmate house-cleaning problem – swap duties/hire cleaners/institute penalties etc
Maybe he could take over [other task], while you take over the dishes, and you all chip in to hire cleaners to take care of the kitchen over the period you’re away. Ideal? No. He should be taking care of his own mess. But you need to focus on getting what you really want out of it (which, in this case, is a lack of mice).
TL;DR Treat each problem separately and deal with/prepare for each. Focus on what you MOST want to accomplish with each of them, because I don’t think you’ll get everything you want when you’re living with someone like that.
autotelica − Bland fried chicken is an outrage. Why go through the trouble and mess for bland fried chicken?!
[Reddit User] − I’d be more concerned about living with someone who makes jokes about their mistake that led to someone being seriously injured.
spatenfloot − Make him use an air fryer instead.
[Reddit User] − I think the reason he jokes about it and makes it every night is because he’s offended that people blame him for what happened.
To be honest if I was making friend chicken and the oil started to smoke(which does and can happen to normal, responsible cooks) and someone rushed in and acted like an i**ot…
Water and picking it up? I’d be pretty flabbergasted. Then to have it be insinuated it was my fault that happened? I can see why he’s offended even if I do not agree with how he’s acting. Burning toast and over boiling water happen on occasion. Oil is dangerous but there’s simple ways to handle the natural temp fluctuations.
Act like it’s no big deal. If he’s messy nip it in the bud right away. If you don’t like the chicken, don’t eat it. Take out renters insurance as a general good idea. The more you make him feel like a Hazzard the more he’s going to act like one.
kikioreekee − its unbelievable after all you guys have been through with this careless man that no one has set any boundaries.
Ediolon − If it hasn’t been said, learn how to put out a grease fire and make sure a fire extinguisher is within reach.
Would you feel comfortable addressing a past safety incident with a new roommate? How would you handle living with someone whose habits make you uneasy? Share your thoughts on balancing personal safety and roommate dynamics below!