My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat

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A 22-year-old man is facing a major dilemma in his relationship with his vegan girlfriend of 7 months. After discussing the possibility of moving in together, his girlfriend demanded that he give up his beloved cat, Mittens, because she believes that owning a cat violates vegan principles.

He is unwilling to part with his cat, and tensions are rising. The relationship, which started with shared values, is now at a crossroads due to this fundamental disagreement.

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‘ My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat’

I’ve been dating my GF for 7 months. She’s amazing and we’re super compatible in a lot of ways. She is an outspoken vegan, and she made it clear at the start of our relationship that it was important to her that any potential had similar cruelty-free values.

Me, already being a pescatarian, had little difficulty transitioning to a fully plant based diet. My GF was proud of me for going cruelty free and everything seemed well. We became “the vegan couple” on our college campus. Then there is my cat, Mittens… I’ve had her for three years and I adore her.

She’s such a sweet and cuddly cat. However, my GF was always a little apprehensive around her, and she blamed it on not growing up around cats. After a while we sort of made a tacit agreement to mostly hang out at her apartment instead of mine, so Mittens never really came up again in conversation.

Fast forward through all the quarantine stuff… My gf and I have spent a lot of time together during this pandemic and we’ve started talking about taking our relationship to the next level. We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other.

However, after a lot of talking and planning, my GF sat me down and dropped a bomb shell on me. She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens.

She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat, and because the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles. I was stunned.

I told her that I was absolutely not willing to give up Mittens, and she had no choice but to eat meat so I was reducing harm as much as possible by buying reputable brands of cat food. Plenty of vegans own cats and think along those same lines. My gf got mad and said “how much flesh does your cat eat?

How many animals died to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh?” I got mad and told my GF that I would have really appreciated her telling me about her cat opinions before we got serious. She went on and on about cats killing animals. I ended the conversation there.

I was so angry that I left my gfs apartment. And I snuggled with Mittens when I got home! Although the mood soured a bit when my GF sent me a link to a Reddit thread advocating for the extinction of domestic cats. Sigh I think it goes without saying that I am not going to get rid of my cat.

However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology. I don’t even really understand where my GF is coming from because like I said, a lot of vegans own cats.

Now granted, cat ownership can be a controversial topic in vegan circles and I probably would not have gotten a cat if I had been vegan at the time, but I have Mittens now, and she deserves to eat. (Yes, I’ve researched vegan cat food, but Mittens has some digestive issues and my vet strongly cautions against it.)

I’ve talked to some of my vegan and vegetarian friends and they all think my gf has lost her mind. Some have suggested that it’s not about Mittens and my gf just wants an excuse to end it. They probably don’t understand why I haven’t broken up yet, but I care about my GF so much.

I’d hate for this bizarre curve ball to be the end of a beautiful thing. I want to try and work something out. Where do I even go from here? I will not compromise on Mittens and I don’t think my GF will compromise either.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

-Nerze- −  She suggested to give it away ? It makes no sense whatsoever… Will it consume less meat with another owner ? Of course not. It’s like boasting about your lack of garbage because you d**p it all in your neighbor’s yard.

elderjayk −  Thank you for doing right by Mittens. You’re a good person.

Chakakhanukkah −  See if the local shelter will allow you to surrender your girlfriend. Edit: well, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!! Go adopt some cats!

ayecaptainaye −  As a fellow vegan, no, this isn’t even cool. If she truly cared about animals she wouldn’t ask you to re-home your cat! It has a loving home! Her way of thinking is ass backwards.

If someone told me I am not a *real* vegan because I have a dog I would laugh my ass off and tell them they can have their stupid label, the dog stays, he’s family. Just like I’m sure your cat is your family.

monkey_mcdermott −  FYI, cats are obligate carnivores. Don’t bow into any “vegan cat foods” or anything like that in an effort to make this work. Your cat will get sick, and it will die of malnutrition. Beyond which pets should not be an “until its inconvenient” commitment

Unrealpeople24 −  I wonder if this isn’t really about veganism but more of her finding ways in an intimate relationship to express control over her partner. The fact that she doesn’t possess the skills to be flexible, compromising, or negotiate with a partner is a big red flag to me. As a cat lover, I’m very glad you stuck by mittens!

kaylacactus −  Your girlfriend is literally the definition of a f**king crazy vegan. And a piece of s**t. The extinction of domestic cats? It REALLY doesn’t sound like she cares about animals like she claims. Yes cats eat meat. It’s the f**king circle of life.

A s**t ton of animals need meat, it doesn’t mean they should f**king die. Holy f**k let her go, she may be great to you, but imo, the second anyone tried to tell me to get rid of my beloved cat they could f**k off for all I care.

sleeeighbells −  Anyone who asked or expected me to get rid of my animals would be kicked to the curb.

xaygoat −  Ironic. A vegan who doesn’t want to eat animals but wants one species to go extinct… Don’t get rid of your cat. You’ll regret it when y’all break up.

Modo21gen3 −  Dude I got rid of a Savannah Monitor I had for years over a girl. I had that thing from the time it was the size of my pinky to weighing 9lbs. I tamed it and could take it for walks and everything. I gave him up, but the relationship didn’t work out.

I’ll never forgive myself for putting her first over a pet that had been there for me in the darkest of times. The cat stays bro. Don’t be stupid, true love is full of compromises. A f**king cat shouldn’t be one. You’ve already changed enough bro.

How would you navigate a relationship where you have deep love for your pet but face ideological differences with your partner? Would you compromise, or is this a dealbreaker? Share your thoughts and advice on managing differing values in relationships.

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