Me [34 M] with my wife [30 F], found somewhat damning messages on her phone. Don’t want to believe

A Reddit user recently shared a troubling discovery that left him questioning his marriage. After seeing a suspicious message on his wife’s phone, he found a brief exchange with someone named “Jeff,” a name he doesn’t recognize.

Though his wife has never previously given him reason to distrust her, the content of the messages and the secrecy surrounding this individual have raised doubts. The user feels torn between confronting his wife directly or investigating further, struggling to navigate the delicate balance of trust and suspicion. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ Me [34 M] with my wife [30 F], found somewhat damning messages on her phone. Don’t want to believe’

So to preface this I’ll say that my wife has never before given me reason to suspect her. She’s pretty open with her stuff, laptop and phone laying around and what not. That being said…
My wife was in the other room doing something, I don’t even remember what, and her phone buzzed on the couch. No biggie, she texts and chats a lot so this happens fairly often.

However when I looked over at the phone the message on the display was from “Jeff,” and it said “I told you I was going to brutalize you.” Seeing that I immediately picked up the phone and checked the message. Sorry, but I don’t feel guilty. I feel like that was a just cause, especially since I don’t know of any close friends named Jeff. There were only a few messages.

One from about a month ago that went: Her: Hey, this is [name], just texting so you have my number, see you tomorrow!. Him: Cool thanks, see you then! One from a couple weeks ago that said: Her: Hey I’m going to be a little late, there’s a road block down the street. Prob just a few minutes. Him: Ok. And then the one from tonight:

Her: How am I supposed to drive my car now JEFF?? Him: I told you I was going to brutalize you Seriously, I feel sick. I don’t want to believe this is what it looks like. She has never made me question my trust in her but she has also never mentioned anyone named Jeff. And she’s a talker.

Now I’m starting to second guess everything I thought was normal. She comes home late, but she works long hours and is salaried in a demanding job so she never really knows exactly when she’ll be home. Sometimes she is quite late but she’s also very career driven.

She also often showers when she gets home, but she has a physical job that she gets sweaty at and I know she hates showering in the morning. But now I can’t get it out of my head that she’s covering something up!

I don’t know what to do…should I snoop more?? She doesn’t really password anything and her facebook is open all the time so it wouldn’t be very difficult….it just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do though. Do I confront her? I don’t have anything solid and if she’s lying about this so easily, she might just make something else up. Gah! I don’t know. I hate this feeling.. Help me!

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

[Reddit User] −  Oh, jeeze, people! Imagine Jeff is her personal trainer. I am one and I get texts that say, “thanks. I can barely walk.”, “any chance you can come to my house?”, “I’m late.”, “let’s do that every week!”. See my point? OP has WAY more investigating to do before he runs for the hills.

CohibasAndScotch −  Okay, the way things go on this sub I’m guessing she’s cheating. HOWEVER, something that instantly came to mind was a workout. Does she have a personal trainer? It all adds up if you think about it like that. Texts him that she’s gonna be late. Can’t drive cuz she’s week limbed.

“How am I supposed to drive” isn’t something a lot of women say after getting banged hard. How am I supposed to walk/sit down, sure. Also, she didn’t delete the old texts entirely which seems to indicate she’s not hiding anything. If she was being shady, you wouldn’t have messages dating weeks back. Something to consider before you blow her up with accusations.

[Reddit User] −  She works a physical job? Enough that she get’s pretty sweaty? Maybe Jeff is a coworker or supervisor and they had some heavy work to do and they’re joking about it?
I dunno man, don’t jump to conclusions until you know more, ask her. Some other commentors on here are right, just say that you saw the text, ask her what it means.

FroggyMcnasty −  So that message sounds pretty bad, there is nothing wrong with digging further.

exonwarrior −  The texts don’t look good at first glance, I’ll give you that. But honestly the first thing I thought of was a coworker/manager (as you say she works a physical job) or a personal trainer/gym buddy. Looks potentially shifty, but I wouldn’t jump to conclusions.

NeverYourAverageJoe −  Sounds like she is cheating. But, just playing devil’s advocate here… Does she have a new manager at work? Since her job is physical, maybe he is being more demanding? Or, does she see a trainer at the gym?

paulbenis −  The best thing to do is to confront her about it. Just calmly explain why you looked at the message, then ask for an explanation.

Gulliverlived −  Masseuse?

[Reddit User] −  Does your wife work out with a trainer?

2OP4me −  Do some more snooping, find out what you can and be ready for the worst. “I’m going to Brutalize you” confuses me, and based on what you’ve said it seems like she could be deleting old text.