Me (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) and I think I am scared of him. Can anyone give me some advice?

A Reddit user shares a troubling experience with their boyfriend, where they felt scared after an unsettling incident during an intimate moment. The boyfriend exhibited strange behavior, including a blank stare, an unsettling smile, and a possible injury to his hand. The user feels disturbed and confused about the situation, unsure whether the behavior was a harmless daydreaming moment or a deeper,

concerning issue. Despite expressing their fear, the boyfriend dismissed their concerns, and the user is now uncertain about how to move forward in the relationship. To read more about the situation and how others have reacted, continue reading below…

‘ Me (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (18M) and I think I am scared of him. Can anyone give me some advice? ‘

Me and my boyfriend have been dating nearly 3 months now. We both have the same kinks, he enjoys giving pain and I am Into receiving it. We were experimenting with some different stuff but yesterday really scared me. All of the stuff we did was completely consentual and fun but while he was doing it he suddenly started staring deep into my eyes.

His eyes went completely blank and lifeless, his pupils went huge and there was a smile that crept across his face. He didn’t blink for about 2 minutes, the whole time he was staring at me blankly, not a thought or emotion in his head. While he was doing that he dug his nails deeper and deeper Into my stomach but I just froze not knowing what to do.

After about 2 minutes of his Intense stare, his eyes clicked back to normal and he let go of my stomach and just started apologising out of no where. I asked him why he was apologising but he refused to say and then brushed it off as if nothing even happened.

A few minutes later he gets up and walks Into the kitchen, I hear a loud thud and he comes out with his knuckles bright red. He stares at his knuckles with those lifeless, angry, blank eyes. He starts smiling again and starts doing this creepy laugh while admiring his red knuckles. Then he clicks back to normal again.

He does this for about 5 minutes, clicking in and out of normality and then to this creepy side. It terrified me. I kept asking what he had done but he refused to tell me and acted as if everything was fine. For the next half hour after this, I would catch him looking at his knuckles every now and then, doing that weird stare, smile and laugh.

His eyes were the creepiest part, he looked almost possessed, psychotic, like it wasn’t him, I can’t even explain it. At this point I’m sat next to him on the sofa, I asked him about his hand. Hes looking at his knuckles and says he thinks he might of broken it, it did look bad, it was really swollen and looked slightly out of place.

I asked him if he was ok and if he needed anything and his reply was ‘im not ok with broken bones myself but I don’t mind breaking others’ and as he said that he grabs my pinky finger and stares at me with those eyes again while slowly bending my finger back. I pull my finger away and tell him to stop, his eyes go back to normal and he looks really confused and starts asking me what’s wrong.

My gut was telling me something was wrong, not sure what but I had never seen him like this ever (He usually makes me feel safe, he’s kind, gentle, funny, caring ect.) I ran to the bathroom, I was physically shaking, I had never experienced this before and was genuinely petrified.

It doesn’t help that my boyfriend tells me often that his own thoughts sometimes terrify him and he thinks he is a bad guy for what he thinks, however will never actually tell me the thoughts he has. After I left his house, he walked me home and everything was fine, he was acting normal again.

I texted him later that day telling him my concern but he told me he usually does that lifeless stare when day dreaming and I know exactly what he means, he does, I have seen it lots of times. This time was different, he had a mean look in his eyes, like he had no emotion, as if he was completely blank, not blinking once.

I never told him that part, the way I felt, I told him I was scared but that’s about it. He reassured me and told me how it was normal he zones out and there was nothing to worry about. I never brought up to him about the thing where he punched the wall, it was never confirmed but the way his knuckles were and the bang I heard, it was obvious he had done that.

He has never acted this way In front of me ever before and I’m scared he enjoys the thought of pain too much. Can anyone give me some sort of advice or answers to this?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

bippityboppitynope −  He’s purposefully trying to freak you out by acting like a cringey abusive edge lord. D**P HIM before he hurts you and blames on some b**lshit he heard on red pill. He is an immature c**ep.

hyperfixmum −  He’s immature and a terrible actor. He’s trying to pretend he has idk multiple personalities or psychotic symptoms and act like he has no idea, to scare you and use it as an excuse to see how far you’ll allow him to hurt you. Whether fake which I highly suspect or real, you have a gut feeling and that’s there to protect you.

You went to the bathroom because you were scared. Never stay with someone who throws things or punches things. Never stay with someone who makes you feel unsafe. Let him work out his weirdness or mental health issues by himself, you are not required to.

Show with you actions that if he treats any woman like this it will not turn out good for him. Do not get sucked into a savior thing where you feel you are the only one that can help him or get co-dependent.

ForkFace69 −  You should probably not talk to him anymore before you get killed or seriously injured. Also reexamine whether or not all this was consensual.

accio_peni −  My ex used to do weird s**t like that, just switch from crazy mode to completely normal. The thing is, he’d only do it around me. If someone dropped by, he’d be completely normal the whole time they were around. It made me realize that yes,

he did know what he was doing and he could control it perfectly well. Which meant he was doing it on purpose, knowing it scared me. He was scaring me on purpose. That’s not something a good person does to someone they love and are in a relationship with.

6ix6ix6ix6ix6ix −  Please stop dating this person you’re too young to ruin your life like this.

ShriekingSeagulls −  Hey OP. When I was barely older than you are now I had a boyfriend that did something similar. I can confidently tell you right now that he is not possessed, this is not a “different person” or a Jekyl and Hyde situation. The person trying to break your finger and punching your wall and clawing your stomach and intentionally saying creepy things to freak you out is your boyfriend.

Not some alter ego that will disappear or that you can work around for the chance to stay with his “good guy side.” He’s doing all of this on purpose to scare you and see how much you’ll tolerate, how far he can push and then reassure you so you’ll allow him to do more next time. He means it. Leave now, before he kills you.

Ok_Reputation_3612 −  Um, your boyfriend sounds unstable and I’d be utterly terrified for my life. My advice would be to not stay with someone who might strangle you in your sleep.

FeedbackOk5928 −  Leave him. Before he kills you.

boobqueen4ever −  I feel scared just reading your post. This is beyond abnormal and should not even be a question of whether you should leave…if I were in your position I would already be gone and would probably have a restraining order.

I would recommend getting out NOW and also maybe telling a close friend/family member what happened so they can watch your back. He sounds like he had major mental issues and needs serious help.

911siren −  If this is real, and I have serious doubts. When someone zones out while hurting you, you run. Always. Every time.

Do you think the user should trust their instincts and reconsider the relationship, or should they try to talk things through with their boyfriend? How would you navigate a situation where you feel scared or unsettled by your partner’s behavior? Share your thoughts below and join the discussion!