M/33 got a sus text from my wife 31/F How do I process this?

A 33-year-old man has growing concerns about his wife’s (31F) behavior during their year-long, long-distance marriage. After noticing a suspicious text notification from a male colleague and experiencing delays in her communication despite her frequent phone use, he received an unusual and out-of-character text—“Babe.

Smelling. Amazing.” The context and phrasing don’t align with their decade-long relationship, leaving him questioning her explanation and whether the text was even meant for him.

‘ M/33 got a sus text from my wife 31/F How do I process this?’

M/33, married for a year to my wife who is 31/F. Within 2 months of marriage after being in a relationship for a decade, she took a job 300 miles away from where we live and our marriage never really got to settle down.

Although the last year has seen its ups and downs I have started to notice some off behaviour. This one time while she was visiting I saw a text on her notification bar where this male colleague texted “I am not going to be staring at you”.

She is almost always on the phone while visiting but while away I almost always never get a immediate response from her. I could be overreacting but for someone who always has her phone on her, it could be not too much to expect taking hours to reply to texts from your husband.

Now here is the kicker. Last night she sent me a text our of the blue, that read – “Babe. Smelling. Amazing” Unless there is some sort of text game going around that I am not aware of, I think that text was definitely not for me.

When I asked her what did she mean, she said she was talking about this perfume I used to wear. It just doesn’t make sense. We have been together for over a decade but I don’t recall her addressing me as Babe.

Just to be sure I had this phone since 4 years and I just tried checking our chats to see if she has ever addressed me as Babe but I couldn’t find any other instance. Let’s just say she was actually recalling a perfume I used to wear, why would she text – “Babe. Smelling. Amazing”.

Her English is pretty good and she has never ever sent texts like these with punctuation all over the place and not making contextual sense.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

alreadyoverit1 −  I don’t think you’re overreacting. I would tell her that you know the text wasn’t meant for you and that you want to know the truth. If she’s never called you babe, it makes sense that it was for someone else.

Little_Mail_5685 −  My advice is to surprise her and just show up. Any loving wife would be thrilled. See what happens then.

Evileyeman −  Her comeback made me laugh out loud. She thought you smelt good 4 years ago so she says Smelling Amazing? You learned a lot from that text. She is calling someone Babe, she is getting close enough to them to smell, she is horrible on her feet, she is a bad l**r. Something is going on. Time to plan your exit strategy. It sounds like she has already started planning hers.

pingproxy −  Bro…

mkilibox −  wait she lives 300 miles away from you and is being shady with her texts? bro, idk how to tell you this but i’m not sure she’s NOT cheating on you. you have to talk to her, soon. and if she doesn’t want to be in your marriage, let her go

WeeklyConversation8 −  Why are you even still married? It’s been a year and neither of you are making moves to be together. There’s literally no point. Why didn’t you move with her? Why would she up and move without talking to you about it prior? She’s absolutely cheating at least emotionally.

shawnw67 −  I’m sorry man but it sounds like your wife is potentially cheating on you. I went through this exact situation a couple years ago. My ex-wife moved away for work, barely responded or texted me, but when in town was always on her phone.

I found out the hard way she was sleeping with someone and in a relationship with another. Be diligent, ask the hard questions, surprise visit her if you can and see who’s around, check her phone if you have to. Prepare for her to get defensive and put the blame on you when you ask her questions.

Do what you can to protect yourself, start putting money away with a parent or family member you can trust. Gather as much evidence as possible that you can present if it comes to a divorce.

I hope I’m wrong, but this is so similar to my situation it’s like Deja vu. Get yourself a good therapist, helped me a lot through my separation and divorce. Wish you the all the best man.

D-redditAvenger −  If it were me I would take it like she married you and moved away to start a new life. What is the benefit to staying married?

Zestyclose_Usual_172 −  Thanks for all the advice, anons! Seems like driving up there unannounced is the top recommendation. Leaning towards doing that this weekend. Will update!

chefbilly1117 −  I think you may be her side piece now