I (M20) went through my GF (F20) phone. What now?

A 20-year-old man found himself questioning his relationship after going through his 20-year-old girlfriend’s phone. While he acknowledges that he shouldn’t have invaded her privacy, he feels his trust in her has been compromised due to past incidents, including her texting her ex. After reviewing her private Instagram and messages, he discovered hurtful comments comparing him to her ex,

criticizing him for not having a car (despite him having one), and making degrading remarks about his efforts in the relationship. Now, he’s feeling used and unsure about his girlfriend’s true feelings toward him, torn between the sweet side she shows him and the disrespectful behavior he’s uncovered.

‘ I (M20) went through my GF (F20) phone. What now?’

Yes yes i know i shouldnt have gone through her phone. But she has gone through mine several times, and i’ve always thought shes been projecting. I did catch her texting her ex in the past. I tried to work through it, though i have never been able to trust her since, and i get no sense of stability from her. to get into the contents.

I found comments she made to her friends and on her private instagram (she wont let me follow it because its girls only… even though there are other men on it, and some of those girls she hasnt talked to in years) the comments that stood out to me were her and her friend comparing me and her ex.

“he’s probably like ‘Her ex is cuter than me’ LMFAOO” she said she feels safer with her ex, and that i “give late bloomer” and “icks her” she even my name throws her off??? what does that even mean? overall aside from the comments, everything i found is just the complete opposite of what she shows me.

she complained about me not having a car (i do it was just in the shop for 6 weeks after an accident, meanwhile she doesnt even have one…) she brags about my apologetic actions, describing them as “downbad.” she makes degrading comments about how i buy her stuff and drive her everywhere, honestly making me feel used.

makes comments how many men she had on her phone (around the time me and her started speaking, which coincidentally she was also talking to her ex??) there is actually so many things to go over, she just shows this completely gross side of herself to others and it and completely icks me.

im afraid i fell in love with a treesh lol. shes so sweet with me, but im not sure how to go about this. shes the only person i go to for advice, so asking reddit for any help

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

CardMysterious2475 −  She’s just a good l**r and manipulator, ghost her asap

FiresiteRS −  This is how she truly feels about you but won’t ever have the balls to actually tell you. Break up with her and let her know you don’t think you have the same values. How she reacts will tell you everything.

Darion_tt −  Brake up end leave, this girl is cheating on you

Wodek_ −  Time to leave. No other options. This will ruin you mentally if you stay. She has disrespected you and you should do what’s right for yourself.

AuntyVenom −  Break up with her! Even if she actually likes you, and is making these comments to “front” with her friends, it’s gross that she would do that. I wouldn’t want to date someone who make degrading comments about me behind my back. (So very sorry, OP. You deserve better!)

kronicrez −  Ruin her new years by breaking up with her

Ok_LSU_816 −  Don’t tell her you went into her phone. Just tell her things are not working out and that it’s just that most of the girls you have dated in the past are cuter than her and that she seems like a late bloomer to you sometime she gives you ick vibes and you just don’t feel safe with her and not to be mean but tell her that her name throws you off sometimes.

LongScholngSilver_19 −  Dude which member of the sinister six are you dating?? She hates you and is manipulating you for god knows what reason. What now? LEAVE! That’s the only option. Now the HOW is the fun part…. If it were me, it seems like she has a very inflated and narcissistic view of herself.

I’d say something like “Hey I’m breaking up with you, this was fun but I understand why (ex bf’s name) left. You’re really not marriage material and I’m over you now. Anyway bye.”. Keep it short, sweet, and nuclear.

Bill2550 −  Why would you stay with someone that won’t “let” you on her private IG and you know other guys are on there? The crap she is saying about you is just icing on the cake. D**p her for the disrespect, she’s playing you for a fool. She’s not mature enough for a serious relationship. “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”. Updateme

Do you think the user should confront his girlfriend about the things he discovered, or is this a red flag that warrants reconsidering the relationship? How would you navigate a situation where the person you love is showing a different side behind your back? Share your thoughts below and join the discussion!