I (27F) just lost my dog I had for 10 years and I’m devastated. Boyfriend (25M) thinks I’m being ridiculous.

A Redditor (27F) is devastated after losing her beloved dog of 10 years in a tragic accident, but her boyfriend (25M) shows no empathy, dismissing her grief and even getting mad at her for not wanting intimacy. She wonders if it’s a cultural difference or a lack of care – until he bluntly tells her, “I’d never marry you anyway.” That was the final straw. Now, she’s facing a fresh start at 27, knowing she deserves better. Read the full story below:

‘ I (27F) just lost my dog I had for 10 years and I’m devastated. Boyfriend (25M) thinks I’m being ridiculous.’

Losing Alfie shattered me. He was more than a pet—he was my best friend, my comfort through life’s darkest moments. Two weeks ago, a careless mistake changed everything. The postman left the gate open, and before I could react, Alfie darted into the road. I watched, helpless, as the car hit him. The pain was instant and unbearable.

Since then, I’ve been drowning in grief, unable to function. My workplace even gave me a week off to process everything. But my boyfriend? He doesn’t understand. “It’s just a dog,” he says. “Why are you being so silly?” He tells me to move on like my heart didn’t just break into a thousand pieces. And when I turned down intimacy because I was too devastated, he got angry.

I don’t know if it’s a cultural difference—he’s Albanian, I’m English—or if he just doesn’t care. He once had a dog he loved, so why can’t he relate? Am I wrong for needing more support? Or is this a red flag I can’t ignore?

This update: UPDATE: I (27F) just lost my dog I had for 10 years and I’m devastated. Boyfriend (25M) thinks I’m being ridiculous.

See what others had to share with OP:

throwRAboyfriendndog −  We just spoke on the phone for 15 mins and he said, verbatim, “I’d never marry you anyway.” I said cool, hung up and blocked. It’s over guys.
Gotta start again at 27 but I’d rather die alone than be with someone who thinks like that.

lamaaaa4 −  Hi I’m Albanian, no we don’t act like this when dogs die we get sad too it’s not a cultural thing, your bf is just an a**hole.

[Reddit User] −  He even got mad at me for not wanting s** cos I was sad.. That’s a dumpin’. Whatever his cultural values are, is irrelevant. What matters is that YOU are clearly sad and he won’t respect it, or even try to understand it, *because he’s an insensitive a**hole*

[Reddit User] −  Gotta start again at 27. Trust me, it’s the IDEAL age to start again. You know who you are. You won’t take s**t from anyone. You’ve grown up, trained, etc, you’re your own person. But you still have your looks, energy, health, s** appeal, s** drive, etc etc

ghoulishgirl −  I had an ex react the same way. It was a sure sign I should have dumped him and that he would never be as emotionally in touch as I would need him to be. I was a fool and stayed with him longer, and his lack of caring was always an issue.. Just FYI.

[Reddit User] −  Both. He might not care as much because he can’t relate, but even if he can’t relate, he should be sympathetic and consoling for your loss.

[Reddit User] −  I’m not sure if it’s a cultural thing. I don’t think there is any culture on Earth where mocking your crying GF is acceptable. It doesn’t matter how “stupid” he thinks the reason for your tears is, his reaction should be to comfort you, not to make fun of you, then demand s**. That’s a**hole behaviour in *all* cultures.

VivienneSection −  The reason why this reddit is a “throw the whole man away” advice board is bc these people be dating some stupid ass men like this.. THROW. NOW. GET A DOG LOVIN ONE.

d0n7w0rry4b0u717 −  Some people are arguing about the cultural differences of feelings towards dogs… with that aside, how can you ignore this: He even got mad at me for not wanting s** cos I was sad. If an SO is getting mad at you for not being up for s** here and there, that is a **massive** red flag.

So he clearly doesn’t care about your feelings in regards to the loss of your dog and he’s mad at you because you won’t have s** with him because you’re not up for it atm (since your sad)… it sounds like you’re just a s** object to him and not a human being. Anyways, too many people here are using cultural differences as an excuse for being a crappy person.

Even if I can’t understand why someone would be upset about something, I try my best to be empathetic. Completely shrugging of someone’s feelings because “you can’t relate”/”you can’t understand” is not okay. Some people are telling you (OP) to consider his feelings and they’re not saying anything about how your bf should consider your feelings.

That’s messed up. If your bf won’t even try to put in an effort to understand your feelings, that’s a good reason to toss him to the curb. Not that you should do that right this second. You can talk to him about this and he could change. If he doesn’t though, you deserve someone who cares about your feelings.. I’m sorry for your loss.

TK-T0XIC −  Hey, here’s a response from someone previously like your boyfriend. My ex gf back in high school lost her cat and he ended up being run over and died a couple streets away from where she lived. I got mad at my gf and acted like it was her fault for letting her cat get out . Obviously it was an accident, but the fact that I was so rude and unsupportive about it is kind of like your boyfriend.

A couple of years later and lack of supportiveness from me, and many more mistakes, she leaves me. I had a lot of learning to do, and maybe your boyfriend does too. You should consider if your boyfriend really loves you, or if he is just using you for s** and will continue to be there because of complacency. If you can see signs of no support and selfishness on his part, I’d advise you to leave him, because he will let you down in the future.

Edit: I see you broke up. I could see the signs. For future relationships, the way you’re treated when you lose something precious to you, or the way you’re treated in certain circumstances are ways / flags to distinguish if someone really cares.

For example, I would n**lect my ex gf, not take her on dates, not get her anything on holidays and birthdays, and would cheat on her atleast once a year, while she held me down and gave me all of her. I let her down and was selfish. She stayed because of our history and she thought change was possible when it wasn’t.

The change I’ve made has only been possible because she left me and I live every day in regret missing what was, and wishing I did differently, and I’m still not worth her time. If someone truly loves you, you will never have to wonder if they do or don’t. You will be treated amazingly and they’ll wear their heart on their sleeve for you. Good luck. Stay happy.

Losing a beloved pet is like losing a family member. Should a partner’s support be unconditional, or is grief something we navigate alone? Share your thoughts in the comments.