I (27F) found out that my husband (28M) has been hiding a female coworker for over 6 months.
A Reddit user shared a troubling discovery about her husband hiding a female coworker from her for over six months. Despite their insistence that the relationship is purely platonic, her husband’s secrecy and deleted texts have left her questioning the trust in their marriage. Read the original story below to explore this complex situation.
‘ I (27F) found out that my husband (28M) has been hiding a female coworker for over 6 months. ‘
This is kind of a long story but I’m feeling so confused and lost. I’m 27 and my husband is 28. We’ve been married for almost 2 years, but I’ve known him for 11 years. Our relationship has always been a little rocky but it definitely seemed to get worse after I got pregnant and had our son (he’s 1 now).
My husband has been working at his job for a year now give or take—he’s a mechanic. Here’s where the long story comes in lol. My 1 year old got ahold of his eye drops we’ve been using and put them in his mouth. I was unsure if any of the eyedrops got into his mouth or if he ingested any so I immediately called poison control freaking out.
After the call, I texted my husband saying that I was about to have a panic attack but I was scared to tell him why (I was scared that he would be mad at me for my toddler getting into the eye drops). My husband immediately texts back and says “I’m not cheating on you. She’s just a coworker that gets me weed”.
I’m of course confused and wondering what he’s fessing up about? So I press more into him and everything unraveled. He confesses to me that he’s become friends with his coworker who is a woman and that she gets him weed and he buys her snacks/lunch sometimes.
He says the only time they text is if it’s about weed or work related issues. But he told me he has been deleting all of their texts for over 6 months now but he’s not hiding anything. I’m immediately suspicious of him because if there was nothing to hide, he wouldn’t have to delete any texts.
So we keep talking and he says that she’s just a friend, he’s not interested in her, and he’s not attracted to her. But then tells me that he didn’t want to tell me about her because he knew I’d be insecure (because she’s pretty and his type). He says they slowly became friends over the past several months and that she knows about me and our child.
He kept telling me that he’s not cheating on me but he knows that he shouldn’t have hid her or the texts for over 6 months. He kept telling me to text her and get her side of the story. At first, I immediately said no but then I kept ruminating on it.
So I did text her and asked if she had any screenshots of their texts she could share with me. She called me and said that she also has deleted all of the messages with my husband because she doesn’t like clutter in her phone and frequently deletes messages. She said I have nothing to worry about.
So I guess I’m just wondering, do you think both of them are lying about nothing going on? Does this count as emotional cheating? I’m just feeling so confused, hurt, and stupid.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Unlucky-Mulberry-999 − the fact that you feel scared about his reaction to the eyedrops thing 🚩 the fact that he hid the texts/ship for half a year on its own – just not being honest 🚩 the fact that he might absolutely be cheating emotionally if not more 🚩
listenyall − I mean, anytime you tell your partner that you are freaking out without specifying and they IMMEDIATELY believe it’s a specific thing that they are doing, that is pretty sus (unless you have a history of freaking out about his female coworkers I guess).
aishian_rawr − Sounds like they collaborated their stories beforehand for whenever you find out. Both of them deleting texts? Right. Not to mention the whole hiding for 6 months thing. Yeah, no.
Ok-Preparation-2307 − So I did text her and asked if she had any screenshots of their texts she could share with me. She called me and said that she also has deleted all of the messages with my husband because she doesn’t like clutter in her phone and frequently deletes messages. She said I have nothing to worry about.
How convenient for him. That is 100% confirmation in my mind. They collaborated their stories, no doubt. Our relationship has always been a little rocky but it definitely seemed to get worse after I got pregnant and had our son (he’s 1 now)
Only married 2 years, with a 1 year old and always had a rocky relationship? Plus you chose to omit how long you’ve been together, which tells me you likely got pregnant and married after barely dating long at all. There is zero doubt he isn’t having an emotional affair, if not a physical affair. You should be worried.
wipbaby − Yeah, you need to see those messages. If he has an iPhone, you can recover deleted texts. Be relentless in demanding he find a way to provide them. Him immediately going to that specific scenario is such a red flag. 🚩
DifferentManagement1 − He’s lying. Period. He IS cheating. And yes she is also lying. They collaborated.
AnythingButOlives − Unless they delete EVERY single text they receive from anyone, it’s b**lshit. You know it. We know it. Even your cheating husband and the homewrecker know it.
655e228th − Nobody deletes texts for spec. Your storage is almost infinite. And coincidentally they both did? Couple of liars
bathoryblue − Ma’am he just told all over himself, you best listen. No messages to prove it’s innocent? Then it isn’t, and he can’t prove otherwise.
SaBahRub − They deleted all the evidence. You know why
Does hiding a friendship and deleting texts cross the line into emotional cheating, or could it simply be poor judgment? How would you rebuild trust in a situation like this? Share your thoughts below!