I [26F] won a trip to Disney World. My cousin [30F] thinks I should take her daughter [5F] but I don’t want to.

A Reddit user shared her dilemma about winning an all-expenses-paid trip to Disney World and her cousin’s insistence that she take her 5-year-old daughter instead of her boyfriend’s mother.

The user feels torn because her cousin’s family has already visited Disney multiple times, and she doesn’t want the added responsibility of caring for a child during the trip. Read the original story below to learn more about how this is affecting her relationship with her cousin.

‘ I [26F] won a trip to Disney World. My cousin [30F] thinks I should take her daughter [5F] but I don’t want to.’

I recently won an all-expense paid trip to Disney World for four nights, for myself and three guests. I am currently planning on bringing my boyfriend [30M] , my mother [54F], and my boyfriend’s mother [50sF]. I know we all aren’t exactly Disney’s key demographic, but it honestly means a lot to our mothers that I am inviting them.

Both my boyfriend and I grew up in poorer families that could never afford expensive vacations, and this is the first trip to Disney World for all of us. I know this is probably the only opportunity our mothers will ever have to go to Disney, and for now they are both in good enough health to still enjoy the rides.

The problem is with my cousin, Jane [30F], who has been hounding me to take her 5-year-old daughter, Kelly, instead of my boyfriend’s mother. I know, I know, what kind of monster am I for not wanting to bring a little girl to the place where dreams come true?! Except Jane’s family has already been to Disney World twice, most recently earlier this year in February.

My cousin has done very well for herself – she runs a successful photography business, and her husband is an engineer. They are definitely able to afford their own vacations. If Jane wasn’t so well off, I probably would consider taking Kelly if I thought I was giving a little kid a once in a lifetime experience. But I’m not. She’s already been twice and she’s only five! Our mothers have been ZERO times.

Jane’s only rationale for wanting me to take her daughter seems to be that “Disney is meant for kids. It’s weird to go with only adults.” and “It’d be evil to not take a 5 year old to Disney if you had the chance.” There’s also the issue of Kelly herself. She’s not a completely terrible child, but she’s whiny and throws tantrums regularly. I don’t really want to spend a week with that.

Also, what if she gets homesick, what if she gets actually sick, what if she gets lost?! I’m not a parent myself and I would have no idea what to do in those situations. I also don’t want to saddle my mother with the responsibility of caring for her. I’ve babysat Kelly before, but only for a few hours at a time. I’m not sure why my cousin is even comfortable with the idea of me taking her child three states away.

We are in North Carolina, so it’s not like Orlando is just a short drive down the road if something happens. I tried telling Jane I’m not comfortable bringing Kelly, and she just said this is a good opportunity to find out what being a parent is like. What?! She’s almost acting like I’m not serious about not bringing Kelly, and I’m just pretending I don’t want to bring her.

It’s really weird. Jane and I have always been very close, like we are sisters, and I’m afraid this has the potential to ruin our relationship once it comes to a head. What is the best way to tell her no without sounding like an evil child hater, or am I being selfish for not taking a kid to Disney?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Aikistan −  Jane is 100% correct; this *IS* a good opportunity to find out what being a parent is like. Say “no” and mean it.

rad_avenger −  Jane’s only rationale for wanting me to take her daughter seems to be that “Disney is meant for kids. It’s weird to go with only adults.” Well, I would say that there’s a *lot* there for adults. Most of Epcot is not exactly aimed at kids. You can blow an entire day drinking in the International area.

WatermelonRadishh −  “I’ve already made arrangements for [BF, MOM, BF MOM] but I’m sure she’ll have a great time the next time you and [so & so] take her!”

sparkyinbozo −  “It’d be evil to not take a 5 year old to Disney if you had the chance.” Your cousin sounds super selfish and m**ipulative. She’s trying to make you doubt yourself because it’s “weird” and “evil” for not wanting to bring her. Don’t fall for it!

[Reddit User] −  Someone wants a week of free babysitting.

lamamaloca −  Just say no and keep saying it.

doublenut −  Jane’s only rationale for wanting me to take her daughter seems to be that “Disney is meant for kids. It’s weird to go with only adults.” and “It’d be evil to not take a 5 year old to Disney if you had the chance.” Her rationale and opinion on this subject are incorrect as well as irrelevant. It’s your trip and you get to decide how to “spend” it.

What is the best way to tell her no without sounding like an evil child hater, or am I being selfish for not taking a kid to Disney? Don’t get drawn into why, you don’t have to justify your reasons; they aren’t available to be argued with. Say “no.” Then say “No; I’ve heard what you had to say and don’t wish to discuss it further.” Then don’t discuss it further.

Jane and I have always been very close, like we are sisters, and I’m afraid this has the potential to ruin our relationship once it comes to a head. It does, and it’s unfortunate, but all the “ruining” here is coming from her, not you. Don’t let people paint you as the bad guy here.

CraazyMike −  It amazes me the amount of people who post here and their “problem” is solved with a simple “no”. Oh I get that family dynamics can make that more complicated.. Feelings.. Social pressure.. Blah blah blah.. No.. It’s that simple

[Reddit User] −  If Disney didn’t anticipate and accommodate adults then what is the “secret” dining club 33 all about? Plenty of couples take romantic honeymoons there. But do not fall into the J.A.D.E. trap. it’s just a waste of energy. *justify, argue, defend, explain*.

Stop wasting time and energy on defending your choice. It doesn’t require defense at all. There’s no problem with your choice to go with your mothers. It will be fun. The only problem that exists is your cousin’s lack of respect and class.

RogueKitteh −  “I have already invited who’s going and am planning accordingly.”. Rinse and repeat if necessary.

Balancing family dynamics can be tricky, especially when it comes to making decisions that affect everyone involved. Do you think the Reddit user’s reasoning is valid, or do you believe she’s being too dismissive of her cousin’s request? How would you navigate a situation where a family member pressures you into taking a child on a trip? Share your thoughts below!