I (26F) realized I have a crush on my roommate (24F)

A woman (26F) recently realized she has developed romantic feelings for her roommate (24F), who supported her through a tough breakup. After spending a wonderful day at the park together, she found herself wanting more than friendship but is unsure how to proceed.

The unexpected nature of these feelings, coupled with her fear of jeopardizing their friendship and living arrangement, has left her seeking advice on whether to act on her crush or keep it to herself.

‘ I (26F) realized I have a crush on my roommate (24F)’

My roommate has been an angel while I was a barely functioning adult due to my break up with my boyfriend. She took care of me and helped me deal with my panic attacks. I felt really embarrassed to just hang out with her. I was incredibly nervous but I posted about this and people gave me some great suggestions.

One of the suggestions was to take her to the park for a walk. She loves the park. Both of us were done with work earlier yesterday. We went to the park together. We just talked and hung out. I felt a lot of embarrassment about exposing my worst, vulnerable moments to her. I really love her company and I have missed this.

Just hanging out with her. She bought me flowers as a joke and my heart skipped out of my chest. that was a really weird reaction. Then while we were eating Tacos and she was joking about her job. I realized, this felt kind like her date and This was the best date ever. I had an almost overwhelming urge to kiss her.

we got back to our apartment and I just shut myself into my room and tried to understand all this feelings. I have never felt this way about a girl. I am scared. I don’t know what to do here? Should I just to ignore these feelings? we still have a long lease left and I don’t want her to be creeped out by me.

Some part of me is telling me to shut up. It would just weird her out. I will become the funny story she tells people, her roommate she had helped out of kindness (or pity) and then creeped her out and wanted to be in a relationship. I don’t know, I am scared about ruining our friendship too.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

robintheyounger −  Slow down. Stop for a minute. Don’t think about complications with your roommate for a moment, especially if she’s straight. Maybe rewind to how you feel about possibly being attracted to a woman for the first time. Sexuality is not something that is strictly defined one way for our entire lives.

For some people it may evolve over time, for some people they may know comfortably who they’re attracted to without further introspection. This can be a weird and confusing time if you have thought you were straight your entire life.

You may be straight and conflating your deep feelings of gratitude and the vulnerability you shared with romantic feelings. You may genuinely be attracted to her and you’ll only ever be really attracted to this one particular woman. You may be bisexual or pansexual. It’s a lot to try to grapple with!

Maybe start with some resources for LGBTQ questioning youth. You’re not a youth but these resources will be for people who are just starting the process of wondering if they’re not straight. Do you have any LGBTQ friends or groups in the area? Have you watched any media with positive LGBTQ representation,

particularly of female-female relationships? Just try to get comfortable with the idea before you try to decide what you want to do with your roommate. After you ponder it for a bit the concept may get less scary, or you may realize these are intense but ultimately not romantic feelings.

Wanting to kiss her and express physical affection is a clue that you may have genuine romantic interest and that’s okay. Just keep treating her with respect for the time being while you work out your own stuff.

thats-fucked_up −  I have a couple of suggestions. First, have some drinks together, get comfortable laughing and joking. Then you can complain that a guy told you you were a terrible kisser, and see if she volunteers to check out your kissing.

Or, and this is a little more daring, you can ask if she wants to be part of a threesome with you and another guy, and if she answers yes, then you can suggest that you start without him. By the way, if you think she feels like you’ve stepped over the line, you can blame it on the alcohol and then you can joke about it later.