Considering leaving my fiance over comments she made about my cousin.

A 30-year-old man (M) is rethinking his engagement to his fiancée (27F) after she made hurtful comments about his cousin (30F) who has suffered multiple miscarriages. His fiancée implied that his cousin was lying about her miscarriages for attention and made inappropriate comments suggesting a closer relationship than just cousins.

These comments, along with previous instances of her being rude and pulling him away from his cousin at family events, have caused the man to question his trust in his fiancée. He is now uncertain whether to confront her again or end the relationship altogether, as he feels his cousin has already been through enough emotional pain.

‘ Considering leaving my fiance over comments she made about my cousin.’

I am 30m, my fiance is 27f, my cousin is 30f. My cousin and I are very close. Our moms are identical twins so we grew up more like siblings. My cousin is married and has been for like 7ish years and they’ve been trying to have a baby for 6 ish years.

They do have a daughter via adoption but have no biological children. She has miscarried several times and I know this to be fact because I was the one called to clean up the blood before she made it home so she wouldn’t have to see it.

She struggles with it a lot and the mention of anyone being pregnant upsets her. She smiles about it to them but she normally cries when it’s just us talking.
I’ve done my best to be there for her because she is like a sister to me.

She miscarried again back in December and ended up having to have several surgeries hopefully to fix the problem. I know she’s been seeing a specialist and is hopeful. However she didn’t say much to me about anything.

She didn’t call which was unusual but I just assumed she didn’t want to talk about it at the time. My fiance and I were talking about miscarriages and fertility stuff because one of her friends had miscarried and my cousin came up.

My fiance laughed and said my cousin has never actually miscarried she’s just making it up for sympathy and trying to get attention. My cousin hates attention and people feeling sorry for her. She says it makes her feel really awkward.

Only a few people in the family know about her miscarriages no one extended knows just us ( my parent, hers, and me) and our grandparents. She has never once tried to get attention.

I asked my fiance why she would say that and she said my cousin obviously wants my attention that’s why she is always crying to me and no one else. She also said she has confronted her about it. My cousin never told me my fiance had ever said anything to her about it.

My fiance also said a few other really awful things about my cousin that were creepy implying we had had a s**ual or emotional relationship. I was absolutely disgusted because again she’s like my sister but not only that we are very related. That’s just gross.

Anyway now that I’ve been thinking about it I’ve remembered several odd times that my fiance has been rude to my cousin and has pulled me away from talking to her at pretty much every family event.

This doesn’t sit right with me and I am completely rethinking my relationship. I am not sure if we should have another discussion or if I should just end it because I don’t know if I can trust her around my cousin again.

My cousin has been hurt enough she doesn’t need someone mocking her or telling her she is lying.. I’m not sure what to do here.

Check out how the community responded:

thedarkestbeer −  This is absolutely worth breaking up over. It’s weird and gross enough that she’s jealous of your cousin. It’s weird and gross enough that she thinks that your cousin is lying about having miscarriages. It’s absolutely hateful and unhinged that she *confronted a grieving woman to accuse her of lying about having miscarriages.*

SectorParticular −  I have to agree with the consensus, she is in plan English a heartless bit*h! It’s bad enough to imply you have an inappropriate relationship with your cousin but to go to her and tell her she is lieing about something so traumatic is unexceptionable! You need to get rid of her then go to your cousin and beg for her forgiveness and tell her you had no idea she did what she had done!

fullmetalfeminist −  Your fiancée sounds like a monster

pyrocidal −  My cousin and I are very close. Our moms are identical twins so we grew up more like siblings.  Genetically, cousins from identical twins are indistinguishable from siblings. That’s your sister, bro. F**k your fiancee, she’s a horrible person

EMMcRoz −  I would break up over this. She’s jealous and heartless.

BellaSantiago1975 −  Your fiance is a ghoul. What a vile person she must be.

BloomNurseRN −  This is horrendous behavior. I can’t even imagine the audacity, selfishness, n**cissism, and heartlessness it takes to talk about and treat someone this way. Please meet her in person, take the ring back, and end things now. She has no soul!

190PairsOfPanties −  More red flags than a Soviet parade. I wouldn’t be able to sleep next to her after that. Why are you even questioning giving her the keys to the curb?

swirlypepper −  She sounds awful. Take this as an indication of any future compassion she’s going to show any relative who needs your love and support – will she get resentful if you need to help your parents as they age?

Will she call your child an attention seeker if they end up neurodivergent or with mental health problems? Will YOU have to “prove it” if you’re ever at a low ebb and need her to support you? She sounds insecure and lacking in kindness and I certainly wouldn’t want to spend my future with someone like that.