AITHA for telling my sisters boyfriend it’s not his business if I don’t want to be a stay at home mom?

A woman, after being repeatedly questioned about her life choices by her sister’s boyfriend, stands firm in her decision not to be a stay-at-home mom and to not have children—sparking a clash with him and even her sister. Is she justified in asserting her boundaries, or did she overstep? Read the original story below…

‘ AITHA for telling my sisters boyfriend it’s not his business if I don’t want to be a stay at home mom? ‘

So I (F22) have an older sister (f28) she has 4 kids. And she loves being a mom and wants to be a stay at home mom. And I encourage her to do whatever she wants. She herself understand that I have no desire to be a mom right now if not ever. I have two other older sisters who are like me who doesn’t want to be a stay at home mother. (This is important in the story)

Her boyfriend is mad at me (m27) cause he asked me when I’m going to settle down and that he can introduce me to his friend (m25) who wants a stay at home wife. I told him no that I don’t want to date anyone this year and he got mad at me for some reason and asked me why so I told him my ex boyfriend left me with trust issues.

(My ex cheated on me for 6 months into a 3 year relationship.) he told me we broke up in 2023 and I should start getting back out there. And I told him it’s not his business and he dropped it. But 2 days ago he asked me if I wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother.. and I told him no that I don’t and I’m not even sure if I want kids let alone to be married.

He got defensive since his mom was a stay at home wife and mom. And I told him I don’t see anything wrong with being a stay at home mom. But that I don’t personally want to depend on a man for anything and he once again got defensive and said not all man are the same. I told him he was correct but again not all women want the same thing.

He said my sister wants to be a stay at home wife and mom and I told him congratulations on finding that with my sister but that I once again don’t want to be a stay at home mom. He got mad cause he overhead my conversation about me getting an IUD aswell and told me I’m ruining gods plan to make me a mom one day and I told him wether I want kids or not is not his business.

He got mad at me and told me to get out of his home so I did. My older sister is asking me to apologize to him and to not get an IUD since if I get pregnant that it’s Gods plan. And she also told me I should reconsider being a a stay at home mom/wife. I told her not everyone has that dream. And she accused me of not respecting stay at home mothers/wifes which is nothing but lies.

My two other older sisters are on my side and said my sisters boyfriend shouldn’t be to concern with how I live my life. And that if I don’t want to depend on anyone for the rest of my life thats my choice. He also said I’m going to hell for being bisexual so I screamed that I guess his girlfriend (my sister) is also going to hell cause she’s bisexual herself (which he already knows about)

now their friends are calling me an a**hole saying that he only cares about what I do with my body since it’s gods body and I should respect it and become a mom soon. So am I the a**hole for telling my sisters boyfriend it’s not his business if I don’t want to be a stay at home wife/mom?

Check out how the community responded:

Natural_Inevitable50 −  This guys sounds like a c**ep, who is he to dictate what you do with your life, your career, and your body? I hope your sister knows about this and supports you. NTA

WanderingGnostic −  SO many red flags here and NTA here. To add a bit of fun and flare to your arguments since they keep bringing up God in all this feel free to point out that BOYFRIEND is NOT HUSBAND and in God’s eyes they are living in sin and all those lovely children are illegitimate bastards.

That should bring about a whole bucket of fun there. Also be sure to point out her BOYFRIEND’S o**ession with your body and what you’re doing with it. Does he perchance want that body for his own and since he can’t have it, he’s using his friend as a surrogate?

There are some serious issues here, but none of them are your problem. As a side note, being petty with Biblical technicalities can be a total hoot. You obviously love your sister if you’re putting up with this guy’s b**lshit, but I’d be going low or no contact after that s**t.

Temporary_Refuse4638 −  My question is: Why does he care so much? It’s actually concerning that your sister doesn’t see how creepy he is. Obviously you are not the a**hole. But how this guy is acting gives me the creeps.

Safe_Perspective9633 −  If he’s so worried about “God’s plan”, why aren’t they married?

lindagovinda −  God lord. Why are you even discussing this with him?? Not his business. Quite frankly it’s n**ty that he’s even asking. Gross

Icy-Conversation9349 −  Oh yes, misogyny disguised as religion. Maybe he’s looking for a sister wife. It’s beyond creepy that he’s discussing your choice of birth control for your body. Are they gonna take care of the kid you don’t want due to not getting an IUD? Doubtful.

I’d avoid him at all costs. Bring up his porn o**ession next time he brings up anything about your sexuality, I’d almost guarantee he has one. You know the religiously nutty don’t like to be called out on their “sin”.

Zealousideal_Sell937 −  No, you’re not an a**hole. If anything, you weren’t a big enough a**hole. Tell him to f**k off next time.

Acrobatic_Clock_5350 −  he is creepy AF, why is he so obsessed with what you do with your body? tell him to back tf up

leftmysoulthere74 −  This guy has four kids with your sister and they are apparently living some sort of “traditional” life that involves a lot of god stuff, yet he’s her boyfriend, not her husband? OP, start switching the focus back to him/them – “So when exactly are you two going to get married, huh?”

BuildingAFuture21 −  Wait wait wait… Dude is getting religious about YOU when he’s dating a single mom?? Is your sister divorced? Kids out of wedlock? Or is she a widow? Cuz bruh needs to take a BIG F**KING STEP BACK, if he’s picking “at the speck in your eye when he has a plank in his own” (Mat: 7:3-5). NTA.

Is it wrong to stand up for your personal choices when someone tries to impose their beliefs on you? Share your thoughts below!