AITAH? New friend upset I won’t tell them what I did last night?

A Reddit user shares a conflict with a new friend she met online, who became upset after she refused to tell him what she did one evening. After two months of regular communication through social media and daily calls, the friend informed her he wouldn’t be messaging or calling for the night but didn’t explain why.

When he asked what she did during that time the next day, she declined to tell him, feeling that if he wanted to know, he should have reached out. In response, he ended the call, blocked her on iMessage, and unadded her on Snapchat. The user is now questioning if she overreacted. Read the full story below for more context.

‘ AITAH? New friend upset I won’t tell them what I did last night?’

A dude (22) added me (f21) off a friends story on my birthday 2 months ago. We’ve been snapping, have each other on almost all platforms, and call/ft almost every day. We recently met in person for the first time and it went super well and we continued talking as normal.

Yesterday on ft he said he wasn’t going to call me or text me for the rest of the night, but he wasn’t going to bed. I thought it was strange but said fine and didn’t contact him either. When we called this afternoon he asked what I did last night and I said I wasn’t going to tell him because he chose not to talk to me during that time.

He ended the call, blocked me on iMessage, and unadded me on snap. I think he’s overreacting and if he wanted to know what I did, he should have messaged me instead of telling me he was going to ignore me. Am I the a**hole??

These are the responses from Reddit users:

1962Michael −  NTA. Telling you he’s not available to talk or text, that he’s NOT sleeping but also not telling you what he’s doing, has got to be a TEST. About jealousy and fidelity. Either he: * Was doing something with another girl, or.

* He wanted to make you think he MIGHT be with another girl. Since you didn’t act all jealous, now he may be worried that you took the opportunity to talk to another guy. His position is absolutely untenable, so he blocks you to avoid talking it out. This way he can:
* Have an excuse to move on with this other person, or.

* If he was bluffing, he has a shot at making you feel like you’re wrong and you then pursue him and apologize when you have nothing to apologize for. * Worst case, he’s actually trying to CONDITION YOU into not questioning his actions but reporting all of yours. Basically training you to be subservient.

lihzee −  ESH. This is so childish.

Illuminator007 −  NTA. Sounds like he was giving you some sort of test. Like some RP baloney. It also sounds like you “failed”. You dodged a bullet in so doing.

KBD_in_PDX −  To be honest, this is a weird scenario… I guess I don’t know how people ‘meet’ anew these days, but it sounds like 0 to 60 to go from not knowing someone at all, to being added on snapchat, to being added on all socials, to facetiming everyday? I don’t facetime anyone I love everyday…

So to go from this meeting, to all of a sudden, this guy is doing weird tests to see how you react to things… something is off here.
I’d say you both sound very immature, and your reaction makes this a ESH for me…
BUT I think his behavior is actually questionable, and there’s no need to continue this kind of relationship with this guy.

[Reddit User] −  ESH. You both sound like you feel e**itled to know what the other person is doing at all times. This does not sound like a healthy relationship.

ladyxochi −  When we called this afternoon he asked what I did last night and I said I wasn’t going to tell him because he chose not to talk to me during that time.. Huh? I don’t get this.

“Hey man, what did you do last night?”. “Not tellin’.”
“Huh? Okaaay…. Why don’t you want to tell me?”

“Cuz you chose not to talk to me last night.”
Is this what happened? Because then YTA. It’s super weird.

mb21212 −  ESH. He gets it because that’s pretty extreme to just block someone if it was over something so small. You get it because that question is just a trivial as a coworker asking what you did over the weekend. Neither of you owe each other your undivided attention but both of you are clearly immature.

applebum8807 −  “Yesterday on ft he said he wasn’t going to call ne or text me for the rest of the night, but he wasn’t going to bed.”
INFO: I feel like something is missing or this was misunderstood. Did he just have plans? Were you two in some kind of argument on ft so he wanted a little space?

probgonnamarrymydog −  YTA? I can think of lots of reasons to not be texting that aren’t sleeping. Did he say he was going to bed originally or did you ask him that? Either way, he just asked how your night went and you made it weird immediately. For me, that would have been a red flag for m**ipulative behavior and I would have also blocked you.

Foreign-Cow-1189 −  Sounds like the beginning of a screwed up relationship on both sides. You didn’t owe him an explanation but your tit-for-tat reply was game playing. I think it was that move that turned him off and not that you wouldn’t tell him. But he’s a baby for blocking you after that.