AITAH for thinking my wife lied to me ?
A Redditor shares their frustration after their wife told them she was going to the store but ended up spending several hours with a friend. The user feels deceived, as their wife didn’t mention her plans to meet up with the friend, while the wife argues that she did not lie since she still went to the store as intended. Did the Redditor overreact, or is there a bigger issue of trust at play? Read the story below to form your own opinion.
‘ AITAH for thinking my wife lied to me’
Hi all. Throwaway account here. Today, my wife came into my gaming room at our house and told me she was going to the store to make a return. The store is only about 10 minutes from our house. After about an hour I called her to see where she was, only to find out that she was hanging out with her friend.
When she got home (about 5 hours after she initially left the house) I told her that I was angry that she had lied to me about what she was going to do. Her position is that she didn’t lie to me because regardless of whether or not she told me that she was going to hang out with her friend, she still went to the store to return the item that she was planning to return.
My position is that she lied because she (admittedly-) had already made plans to hang out with her friend but completely left that out when she told me she was going to the store to return the item.
We just had a big argument about the situation, with my wife saying she didn’t realize she needed to tell me every single detail about everything she was going to do for the day. I didn’t want the details about every single little thing she was going to do, I feel like she should have just told me she was going to hang out with her friend instead of conveniently leaving that part out.. AITAH?
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Thewife9999 − Hi. Wife here. I’d like to clarify a few points… I made my return at Target. I hung out with my best friend AT Target. I had been at Target for 26 minutes when I received the call because I stopped for gas beforehand (not something I give updates on as it’s a small errand).
I was at Target the entire time until we went to lunch (after I confirmed that my husband had already eaten lunch on his own). I recognize my lack of full communication and the entire thing feels 100% out of hand as my husband would like me to admit I am a l**r.
If anything, I did not communicate clearly and I had zero intent of harm or malice. We were returning school clothes that did not fit, replacing them and then buying breakfast/lunch items for school. I know we are all e**itled to our feelings but sometimes we need to look within ourselves and recognize what a big problem is vs a small blip.
[Reddit User] − I’m sorry but is this really worth the grief?! All you had to do was tell your wife, “hey let me know next time, I was worried about you.” I don’t get making this into a battle with your wife unless you’re actually upset about something else?
You’ve made it clear you didn’t have any big plans so why all the fighting and calling her a l**r? I get being annoyed, I get being worried, but calling her a l**r- that I don’t get. YTA- for your reaction. You had every right to be frustrated but based on comments, there was no need to escalate the situation.
bumknee3 − You have escalated a situation for what reason? You were worried after an hour and called her. She picked up and told you what she was doing and who she was with. She’s not lied to you. Why would you accuse her of that? She probably didn’t tell you ahead of time because she doesn’t need your permission. Or does she?
hellbilly709 − I was swaying a little towards YTA until I saw OP’s wife’s comment and you’re absolutely the a**hole. She was at Target the whole time with the friend returning items, shopping and having lunch? That’s what you’re mad about?
Mentalcomposer − Do you normally game for hours at a time? Im not accusing you, just asking. Maybe she didn’t bother to tell you what she was doing because she figured you’d be gaming all day anyway. Maybe she thought you wouldn’t even notice she was gone?
facinationstreet − WTF do you care? You were gaming, not waiting on her to drive you to the emergency room. Why are you making this into some big deal?
Yes, YTA. The day a full grown adult needs to send you their schedule is the day your marriage ends because you’re a controlling ass.
JustMIRLAwkwardGlory − Yes, YTA. She answered when you called. You’re hugely overreacting. I would bet money you’re either trying to distract attention from, or justify, your own lying, or you’re paranoid because you think everyone else lies as much as you do. OP wife if you’re reading – there’s a stereotype about this for a reason. We often know when someone is up to no good by what they accuse us of.
ShiShi340 − This seems weirdly controlling. You were playing video games and your wife was running errands and then met up with a friend, wtf is the problem. Is she supposed to sit around and watch you play all day??. Yta
[Reddit User] − YTA with your wife’s additional comment in mind, it very much seems like you’re trying to be her dad and not her husband. Do you need a written itinerary of everything she plans to do, or is verbal fine? bffr
ExcitingPause1867 − I wonder why she felt like she couldn’t just tell you…
Do you think the Redditor was justified in feeling upset, or was it a misunderstanding about communication in their relationship? Should both parties have handled it differently? Share your thoughts and how you might manage expectations in a similar situation in the comments below!