AITAH for telling my morbidly obese patient that we need a team of people to roll her so that we don’t hurt our backs

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Healthcare providers often face difficult situations where patient needs must be balanced with staff safety and well-being. A nurse, working in a medical-surgical unit, shared an experience involving a patient who was not only physically challenging to assist due to her weight but also made unreasonable demands, all while expecting constant documentation of her journey as a “body positivity” influencer.

The nurse was put in a tough position when the patient’s needs collided with the realities of hospital protocol and patient care. How did the nurse handle this? Did they go too far in defending their own safety and that of their pregnant colleague?

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The patient, weighing approximately 450 lbs, required assistance with a bedpan, but could not roll herself to allow it to be placed. After explaining the physical limitations, the nurse faced an emotional outburst from the patient and a request to speak with the charge nurse. While the situation escalated, the nurse stood firm in prioritizing safety over the patient’s feelings, leading to a conflict. Was the nurse in the wrong?

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‘ AITAH for telling my morbidly obese patient that we need a team of people to roll her so that we don’t hurt our backs’

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Expert Opinion:

Healthcare professionals, particularly those in physically demanding roles like nursing, often have to navigate complex situations involving patient care, staff limitations, and personal safety. According to the American Nurses Association (ANA), patient care must always be prioritized, but safety concerns for both the patient and the healthcare staff cannot be overlooked. In this case, the nurse made the prudent decision of waiting for more staff to assist with the patient’s weight-bearing needs, ensuring that the safety of the pregnant CNA and herself was protected. The ANA stresses that “injury prevention is critical not only to the patient’s well-being but also to that of the healthcare team.”

In addition, the emotional components of healthcare, such as patient satisfaction and feelings, are important but should not come at the expense of practical care. Dr. Alice P. Moore, a specialist in patient behavior, emphasizes that “while empathy and understanding are necessary, caregivers must assert boundaries that protect both their physical health and their professional responsibilities.” This is particularly true in situations like this one, where the patient’s personal expectations conflict with the reality of healthcare practices.

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Furthermore, addressing body positivity within the medical context, Dr. Andrea Johnson, a clinical psychologist, explains that “body positivity is a valid and important movement, but it must also acknowledge the physical limitations and challenges that come with certain body types.” Dr. Johnson adds that “denying those challenges in a medical setting can lead to unrealistic expectations, which can, in turn, create stress and friction between patients and care providers.”

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Redditors overwhelmingly agree that the nurse acted appropriately in this situation. The sentiment is clear: the nurse’s safety, as well as that of the pregnant CNA, should be prioritized over the patient’s emotional response.

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While some acknowledge that body positivity is important, they also recognize that the patient’s physical condition created significant logistical challenges that required extra help. Many commenters emphasized that the patient was expecting too much, particularly by wanting to be rolled by just two staff members when additional help was necessary.

The community also showed concern for the nurse’s long-term well-being, with several pointing out the importance of avoiding back injuries, which could affect a nurse’s career. The consensus was that the patient, though entitled, had unrealistic expectations of what could be accomplished with limited resources and that the nurse did the right thing in setting boundaries.

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In situations like this, where patient demands and staff safety collide, it’s essential to strike a balance between empathy and pragmatism. The nurse’s response may have hurt the patient’s feelings, but their actions were not only justified but necessary to ensure both patient and staff safety.

The situation also raises important questions about the boundaries of body positivity in medical care and how to handle unrealistic expectations. What do you think? Should the nurse have handled the situation differently, or was their response the right one? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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