AITAH for telling my husband he can sleep in his office because he brought his gaming PC on our anniversary trip?

A Reddit user (28F) planned a special anniversary weekend getaway to a cozy mountain cabin with her husband (30M), but things went awry when he brought his entire gaming setup instead of just a laptop. Despite her expressing her wish for quality time together, he continued gaming throughout the trip, ignoring her attempts to engage. After a series of frustrations, she told him to sleep in the cabin’s office and cut the trip short. Now, he’s sulking, calling her controlling, and she’s wondering if she overreacted.

‘ AITAH for telling my husband he can sleep in his office because he brought his gaming PC on our anniversary trip?’

My (28F) husband (30M) and I have been married for 3 years. For our anniversary, I planned a weekend getaway to a cozy cabin in the mountains, something we both talked about wanting to do for years. It was supposed to be a romantic escape: no distractions, just us, nature, and maybe some board games by the fire. I even planned a surprise wine and cheese tasting for the second night.

When we were packing, my husband casually asked, “Do you mind if I bring my laptop?” He’s a gamer, and while I didn’t love the idea, I figured he might want to play a bit while I read or relaxed. But when we got to the cabin, I realized he hadn’t brought just his laptop. He had packed his entire gaming PC, monitor, mouse, keyboard, and even a VR headset. He spent an hour setting it all up while I unpacked.

I asked him what he was doing, and he said, “It’s just in case you want to nap or something. I didn’t want to be bored.” I told him this weekend was supposed to be about spending time together, and he promised he’d only play a little.

The first night, I made us dinner, and he insisted on eating at the desk so he could “finish a quick game.” After 45 minutes of me sitting alone at the table, I gave up and ate by myself. When he finally came out, he acted like nothing was wrong and said, “That game was crazy! You should’ve seen my kill streak!” I told him I wasn’t interested in hearing about it and went to bed early.

The next morning, I woke up to find him still gaming. He had apparently gotten up at 5 AM to “grind” some levels in a new game. I tried to stay calm and suggested we go for a hike after breakfast. He reluctantly agreed but brought his phone so he could watch gaming videos while we walked. I ended up hiking alone because he kept stopping to “check something” on his phone.

The final straw was that night when I was setting up the wine and cheese I’d brought as a surprise. He came into the kitchen, saw it, and said, “Oh, that’s cool, but can we do it tomorrow? My guild has a raid tonight, and I can’t miss it.”

I snapped. I told him he could sleep in the cabin’s tiny office with his stupid PC, and that I didn’t care if his raid was successful because this entire weekend was now a massive failure. He got defensive, saying he thought I was “overreacting” and that it wasn’t a big deal because we were “still spending time together in the same room.”

He tried to apologize the next morning, but I told him to pack his stuff because we were leaving a day early. The ride home was silent except for his occasional comments like, “You’re acting like I cheated on you with my PC.”
When we got home, I told him to enjoy gaming in his office because I didn’t want to see him for the rest of the day. Now he’s sulking and saying I ruined the weekend by being “too controlling” and making a big deal out of nothing. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

InfiniteOpportu −  I’m a woman gamer and I love gaming my ass off for hours but g**damn I’m not this stupid that I take my games and pc with me to a planned holiday that is for together time with my partner. Your man is acting dumb as hell, maybe even addicted if he can’t let it be for a while.

Briiiiiiyonce −  NTA. This was a planned anniversary trip that you guys have been talking about for years. It was supposed to be a “no distractions” trip that was for you guys to connect as a couple and he knew that. That’s probably why he only asked to bring the laptop and didn’t mention the entire gaming set up. He blew off the entire trip to game when he knew how much you put into the trip.

captaintightpantzz −  NTA dear god, are you married to a self-absorbed teenage boy? The only way I can see you recovering is if he agrees to some sort of gaming break to focus on your relationship.

rubyspicer −  DO NOT GET PREGNANT BY THIS MAN.

Straight_Coconut_317 −  He called it. He is cheating on you with his gaming system. Do you want to be the side chick to a game?

mossfae −  This sounds fake as f**k.

misteraustria27 −  NTA.i game. But when my wife needs something I walk away and let my character die. It’s a f**king game. And if we go somewhere I would never take my Xbox with me. I take it on a business trip as I have time there. But romantic weekend. F**k no. The plan is to f**k like rabbits the whole weekend. Living of love and champagne.

celticmusebooks −  He’s addicted to gaming. Maybe you should find your own “addiction”– a real man who enjoys spending time with a woman instead of playing teenage games with a bunch of other boys. The fact that he couldn’t go on a short walk in the woods without his gaming videos is VERY VERY disturbing. I think if this marriage was a video game you’d be on the “game over” screen.

SGTwonk −  Solid effort as a creative writing exercise, but a few tips: 1. You wouldn’t miss him packing an entire gaming PC and monitor – this would take a full suitcase which no guy is going to bring on a weekend trip. The story is just as effective with a laptop and headset. Also, no one is going to take more than 15min to setup a desktop.

2. Learn a little more about the gaming jargon applicable to specific genres. The terms “kill streak” “finish a quick game” and “guild raid” typically won’t apply to a single game or even a genre. If you want to add details like this, force yourself to watch some streams or videos for a particular game.

3. Bringing his phone to watch gaming videos on a hike is just completely over the top – really strains credulity. Also, humanize him a little bit, throw in something about how he works really hard so you normally try to accept him gaming for several hours on the weekends.

HeliosVII −  I find it entirely impossible to believe that you did not notice a whole ass pc set up in the car as you loaded up your luggage.