AITAH for telling my fiance my step daughter isn’t mine, sort it yourself.
A Reddit user recounts a heated exchange with their fiancée after refusing to leave a planned outing with their son to help their stepdaughter, citing her earlier remark that “she’s not your daughter.” The disagreement has left the household divided. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolded!
‘ AITAH for telling my fiance my step daughter isn’t mine, sort it yourself.’
I’m a 27-year-old man, and my fiancée is 30. We’ve been together for nearly four years. I have a six-year-old son, and she has an eleven-year-old daughter from previous relationships. Up until now, we’ve never had any issues regarding the children.
Yesterday, her daughter was set to go on a camping trip for a friend’s birthday, where they’d be doing activities like kayaking. My fiancée dressed her in a dress, and I mentioned to her that it didn’t seem like the right choice for the occasion.
She seemed offended and said her daughter could wear whatever she liked and that it wasn’t a man’s place to judge. I tried to clarify what I meant, but she cut me off, saying, “She’s my daughter, not yours.” I took my son to a pre-planned match when my fiancée rang me.
It turned out the birthday girl’s mum had told her daughter she couldn’t go in a dress and needed to wear a tracksuit or something similar, so they didn’t let her on the bus. My fiancée then asked if I could leave the match early to drive her daughter to the activity centre.
I replied, “Why should I? She’s not my daughter, and I’m here with my son.” Neither of us are talking now. I do pity for my step-daughter and I wasn’t being spiteful. My son was looking forward to it and it would b2 about 4 hours of travel.. AITAH
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Reasonable_Ruin_3760 − Who sends à girl KAYAKING in a dress????
MangoSaintJuice − NTA lol you tried to help her, and she told you to b**t out. Make sure you get an apology.
ThisEnvironment6627 − NTA, she can’t be a snarky person and still expect you to help… she made her choice and choices have consequences. This relationship isn’t lasting much longer lol. And good she sounds like a red flag.
CoolestHottie − you just matched her energy. If she made it clear her daughter isn’t your responsibility, then it makes sense you’d put your son first. NTA
JustGeeseMemes − NTA, I’d have been snappy too, you tried your best. But also you need to clear up what your roles are meant to be with the kids here. Either you’re some kind of parent and expected to help or you’re a random unrelated person who needs to keep their nose out and you don’t do shuttling them about.
The second sounds like a not great environment for a kid, but they can’t expect you to just do chores for them on demand but also be treated like an irrelevant stranger when it suits too.
shammy_dammy − NTA. This was her decision and it’s her problem to fix. You tried to warn her but you don’t get a say, apparently.
IllustriousKey4322 − No, your wife told you to your face how things work in your household. She is not the mother of your child and you are not the father to her child.
Yours isnt mine just when you need help. Just question if you really want to get married to someone who very clearly has a mindset. How is she with your son???? That’s a big factor
Ok_Airline_9031 − NTA, you played the very card she dealt you. She doesnt get it both ways. But consider this before signing a marriage license: do you want to marry someone who plans to play these kinds of games at the expense of the kids?
Old_Tiger_7519 − What 11 yo lets her Mom dress her?
Simple-Plankton4436 − NTA, she owes you an apology.
Was the Redditor justified in prioritizing his son’s event after his fiancée’s earlier comment, or should he have stepped in to help his stepdaughter? How do you navigate blended family dynamics and shared responsibilities? Share your perspective below!
