AITAH for telling my brother his girlfriend cant move into my house until she gets a job?

A Redditor shared a challenging situation involving their younger brother and his girlfriend. While the brother contributes to household expenses, the girlfriend, who doesn’t work, expects him to cover all her needs.

Now, she wants to move into the Redditor’s home, sparking a heated debate about responsibilities and boundaries. Read the story below to see how it unfolded.

‘ AITAH for telling my brother his girlfriend cant move into my house until she gets a job?’

I (f32) have a brother (19) who lives with me. He has a job, and pays me some money every month towards bills and whatnot. Anyway, he’s got a girlfriend (23). It’s his first relationship, so naturally, he’s besotted with her, she lives in the next town over to us. And they met on some online game.

He’s been with her for about 6 months. He’s been to stay at her parents house for some weekends, and she’s stayed at my house a few times. I’ve got nothing against her, she seems like a nice girl. But my only issue is she expects my brother to buy her things, because she doesn’t work..

And my brother just does it without a second thought. And i’m not talking little things here and there, my brother pays for everything all the time, and he’s always sending her money, by the time he’s given me some coin for bills, and he’s bought her everything she wants, he has nothing left for himself.

We’ve had a chat about it, he says he doesn’t really care, so I just left it at that. His girlfriend called him the other night, and he left the room, I could hear the start of their conversation and whatever it was didn’t sound too happy.

He came back in the room and told me she was crying and complaining about her parents (she does this regularly apparently) saying she just hates living with them because they *nag at her* all the time, he didn’t go into futher detail than that. He then asked if she could move in with us.

I said “Without a job? Youre joking? No.” which started an argument between me and my brother. He said “She doesn’t have to work, I pay for things for her, what difference would there be?” I laughed and said “When you have your own place one day, you can make that call then.

But I’m not having her living in my house without a job, sponging off of you, and sponging off of my house” he got pissed off and said again “I don’t get what the difference would be though!” So I said “If she moved in here without a job, YOU’D have to start giving me more towards bills” he said “What?

Nah, I can’t give you more” I said “EXACTLY!” He walked away, huffing under his breath. I’ve got no problem with her coming here. As long as she has a job. I don’t see how asking a 23 year old woman to get a job before I let her live in my house is such a big ask to be honest.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

shammy_dammy −  Don’t let her move in. Chances are, you’ll regret it.

dreambabee −  Honestly, you’re not wrong. It’s not about being harsh, but she’s gotta bring something to the table if she’s moving in. She can’t just rely on your bro, especially when he’s already struggling to make ends meet. If she wants to live there, she needs to step up and get a job. Simple.

Tovafree29209-2522 −  NTA!!!!You’re teaching him right. Do not allow that extra expense into your house. Her parents were probably telling her to get a job and life..

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. Do not let her move in EVEN if she does get a job. She sounds like bad news. Her own parents don’t want to deal with her. Your brother’s got it bad and that ain’t good. Explain to him that there are no women who have magical vaginas.

peakpenguins −  NTA. He’ll realize you’re NTA when he’s older. If he keeps going on about it, I’d ask him who he thinks is going to pay for the extra groceries she eats? The extra electricity she uses? The extra water she uses? The *difference* is a third person raises costs in the house and neither of them have the ability to pay for those costs.

Lorenistired −  NTA at all. It’s your house, your rules… Expecting a grown adult to have a job before moving in is completely reasonable🤷‍♀️🤣

jjj68548 −  Next she’ll be pregnant. Hopefully your brother is being smart.

DimensionOk5115 −  Tell him their share will be 2/3 of all utilities, they have to buy their own groceries, TP, laundry soap, etc. and the rent for the room is $X. *He* can pay it or *they* can pay it, but your house is not a 2-for-1 deal.

No_Cockroach4248 −  Don’t let her move In. She will get a job, move in and stop working. Your brother is her meal ticket and the only way she moves out voluntarily is when she finds a better prospect. You will regret letting her move in.

If it comes to the point that she does move in, get her to sign a lease, make her pay rent otherwise she might end up with squatter’s rights and be very difficult to evict. NTA

Significant-Bobcat48 −  NTA. I would tell him that rent increases as number of people living there increases. If he can afford an additional 1/3 of his rent, let him stay. The resentment he’ll feel towards her will take care of the rest.

Do you think the Redditor’s stance was reasonable, or should they have been more accommodating to their brother’s girlfriend? How would you handle a similar situation where financial responsibility and personal boundaries collide? Share your thoughts below!