AITAH for telling my 19F daughter she will have to move out of my house if i get divorce because of her lies after her stepdad saw her n**ed?

A Redditor shares a family conflict after their 19-year-old daughter falsely accused her stepfather of walking in on her in the bathroom intentionally. The stepfather knocked on the bathroom door twice, but the daughter, listening to music on her earphones, didn’t hear him. After the incident, the stepfather apologized, and the daughter appeared to accept his apology.

However, the daughter later shared a misleading version of the story with her cousin, omitting her use of earphones and claiming she had responded to the knocks, which led to extended family branding the stepfather as a creep.

Despite proof from hallway cameras showing the stepfather knocking, the daughter refused to clarify the situation publicly, leaving the family to face severe backlash. The stepfather, feeling vilified, left the house to stay with his parents. The Redditor confronted their daughter and told her to correct the narrative, warning that if the marriage ended because of her lies, she would have to move out.

Now, the family is in turmoil, with the daughter inconsolable and the Redditor accused by others of prioritizing their husband over their child. Read the full story below for more details on this complex family dilemma.

‘ AITAH for telling my 19F daughter she will have to move out of my house if i get divorce because of her lies after her stepdad saw her n**ed?’

My husband and i have been married for a little over 5 years now. I will say my daughter 19F and he has an okay relationship not exactly father and daughter but almost advice asked and given relationship basically. I have never picked up on anything weard from my husband towards my daughter and my daughter has never said or insinuated anything at all as well.

On Thursday me and my husband was watching a movie in the living room. We paused the movie as he got up to use the bathroom. I heard him knocking on the door twice. Literally 3 knocks each time on the door a couple of seconds apart. It was loud enough for me to hear him knocking from the living room. The next moment i heard screaming.

I rushed to the bathroom and saw my daughter completely n**ed covering herself and yelling at my husband that to get out. I didn’t see everything that happened but what i saw after i heard yelling was my husband literally fell over his own feet and struggling to get the bathroom door closed. I asked my husband what happened and he said he knocked nobody awnsered so he went in and my daughter was n**ed in fornt of the mirror and he tried to get out.

After my daughter calmed down i asked her side of what happened and she said she was changing and all of a sudden my husband walked into the bathroom. I asked her why she didn’t awnser him when he knocked, she said he didn’t, i told her i heard him knock so i am sure that he did. She said she didn’t hear it because she had her earpods in listening to music.

We got the situation sorted and my husband did apologize to her and explained he thought the bathroom was empty and walked in. She even gave him a hug and apologized for yelling at him.

The problem now is my daughter got family members involved and they are now calling my husband a c**ep. Got a call from my sister berating me for still having my husband in the house. I asked what she meant and i came out that my daughter spun a whole other story and left out the fact that she was listening to music with her earpods and is telling everyone that she awnsered him and he still walked into the bathroom to look at her

We have camaras in our hallway and it proves that my husband did knocked as you can see it on the video, but the camaras has no audio. I sat my daughter down and asked her and she denied saying anything like that or that she told anyone anything i got mad and asked then how does you aunt know what happend and she went silent.

She said she talked to her niece about it and she must have told her mother. I asked her why did she lie about what happend and made my husband look bad when he did nothing wrong she again denied lying about anything and i told her what my sister told me. She just started to cry and say sorry. She was just talking and making up scenarios with her niece.

The whole day yesterday i got calls and text from my family members as the story spread. The wrong story is spreading and my husband is looking like a c**ep to everyone. I sat my daughter down again and had her read some of the things being said about my husband and told her she has to fix this because her lying is what caused this.

She refused saying she didn’t spread this and she only told her niece and doesn’t want to say anything to anyone because they will think bad about her, she said they know my husband and this will just blow over. Everything did blow up when my husband walked into the living room with his bags pack and said he is going to stay with his parents for a while because he doesn’t want to be in this situation anymore were he is made out to be this kind of person. My daughter broke down and apologized repeatedly and said she will fix it by my husband still left.

I told her if i get divorced because of her lies she will be moving out of my house, i told her she better fix what she did and tell everyone what really happened because i will not be loosing a man that loves and actually cares for me like my husband does over lies. She asked me to help her and i told her no she isn’t a child anymore and her lies for attention did this, this is on her. I already tried and I’m now also being accused of taking my husband side and not providing a safe space for my daughter.

I don’t know what to do, my husband asked for space and my daughter is inconsolable at the moment, i am not in the best state myself. Sorry if my post is all over the place. I don’t even know if my title is correct on this post. I have reread amd reread and it still doesn’t make snece to me.

See what others had to share with OP:

swedenper79 −  Extremely distressing for your husband. I would take the daughter, drive to this niece. Sit down with the niece and the mother and make your daughter tell her the real story. After that, I would tell the mother of the niece to call every single person she/they told and tell her she was wrong. If your daughter refuses, kick her out. For every person who said anything about your husband – cut them out of your life unless they apologize to your husband in person.

perpetuallyxhausted −  NTA but you should be aware that even if she does come clean, your husband has every right to not want to live in the same house as her again. You may still have a very hard decision to make. She lied and had him labelled as a predator and saw nothing wrong with allowing that to continue so long as she didn’t look bad for lying.

Honeyyyyyyx −  your daughter made a mess and then threw everyone under the bus. You have every right to expect her to clean up her lies. She’s 19, not 9, and should own up to her mistakes instead of expecting everyone to fix things for her. You can’t let her turn your life upside down because of some dramatic storytelling.

I get wanting to support her, but there’s a limit to how far you should go when she’s being reckless. Your husband’s feelings are just as important, and no, you’re not “taking his side” – you’re just expecting basic honesty.

YoshiandAims −  I would NEVER move back to a home where someone has spread false s**ual misconduct stories about me for no reason, and still lives there. I’d never be okay being alone with that person.. Even if they set it straight.. Even if they were sorry.. Even if I fully forgave them. Those kinds of rumors can and will ruin a person’s entire life. There is no guarantee in any way the rumors won’t continue, spread further, get twisted… or the person won’t lie again, starting it all over.

What’s to stop her from “setting it straight” but in an effort to save face, lean on “I don’t want to have to move, so I have to take it back, no I don’t know why I’d lie… yeah that doesn’t make sense…just trust me I did lie though…” people will talk. The horse is out of the barn. What’s done is done. No matter what happens now, people will always question it, suspect him, and suspect you are protecting him.

However it plays out, your daughter needs to talk to a professional. Being sorry, learning the hard way isn’t enough. She needs professional help to figure out why she chose to lie, why she’d tell her niece this, why she repeatedly doubled down when she got caught, etc.

Sajem −  NTA. However, unless your daughter fesses up *publicly* about the lies she’s told there’s probably not a lot you can do other than releasing the video to everyone along with an explanation of what occurred.

Obviously, even if your husband comes back, you should be kicking your daughter out because he’s right, there is no way he can continue living in a house with a lying, m**ipulative, c**ard, b**ch of a teenager. What would she lie about next, how he comes into her room touching her – or *worse*?

radicalcoach −  Your daughter can’t live with you anymore. It’s not a safe place for your husband. Please pack up your daughters things and deliver her over to her aunts place before you leave. Sit down with her aunt and cousin, and have your daughter explain how she lied.

Let your daughter know that you will help her find another place to live, but she can no longer live with you. She does not have enough integrity, and clearly does not care about your reputation or that of your husband.

JJD8705 −  If I was your husband I’m never coming back. Lies like this are severely damaging.

RainyDay747 −  If I’m that guy I’m not coming back. A false allegation like that can totally ruin your reputation and career. It’s just not worth it.

Apprehensive_War9612 −  NTA. First thing you need to do is have a conversation with your daughter where you go over what happened again. Ask her why she lied. Get her to admit she lied, **without threats.** Tell her you are just trying to understand what happened & why. **And secretly record the conversation.**

Then invite your sister & niece over to talk. Tell them your husband moved out & you’d like them to talk with your daughter. When they get there tell your daughter she needs to tell them the whole story, including the after moments where he apologized for the accident. & **she needs to tel them why she lied.**

Then show them the video of the hall & the recording of her admitting what happened, so they know you aren’t forcing her to retract her story, but you want the truth to come out.

Then tell them she is going to personally call every person they told & correct the narrative. **Then tell your daughter she needs to move out.** She is an adult, lying for attention, & making people out to be predators. If your husband is going to feel safe in his home, she can’t be there. **Then cut off any family members that continue to spread lies.** you know the truth. You don’t have to grovel for people who refuse to believe you would have protected your daughter if you had to.

No-Figure844 −  Why don’t you post the video of him knocking and put it out there how she has lied . Don’t wait for your daughter to do it and make her leave. I’m sorry but at 19 she’s not a lil kid. She is fully capable of facing the consequences of her actions. I would never step foot back in a home where I was accused of that behavior while the person whom accused me still lived there. Ntah but I think your daughter is a l**r and an ah!!