AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece after my sister tried to “pay” me in a way that shocked me?
A young woman (20F) declined her sister’s (28F) request to babysit her 3-year-old niece, citing a busy schedule and lack of interest. In an effort to persuade her, the sister offered “payment” in Chick-fil-A gift cards, candy, and a promise to stop eating her snacks without permission.
When the woman still declined, her sister accused her of damaging family bonds, and other family members have sided against her, urging her to “suck it up.” She wonders if she’s wrong for refusing what feels like an unreasonable barter system. read the original story below…
‘ AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece after my sister tried to “pay” me in a way that shocked me?’
So, I (20F) have a sister, “Amanda” (28F), and a niece, “Lily” (3). I love my niece, but I’m not exactly the babysitting queen. I’ve got a packed schedule—school, work, trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life—and I’m just not interested in watching a toddler run around like a mini hurricane.
A few days ago, Amanda asked if I could watch Lily for a few hours while she went out, and I politely said no. She wasn’t happy, but she dropped it. Fast forward to today, and she asks again, but this time she really wants me to say yes. She says, “I’ll pay you!” and I’m like, okay, I’m listening.
But then she pulls out her offer: she would pay me in Chick-fil-A gift cards. As in, a gift card to a fast food chain. I’m looking at her, trying to figure out if she’s joking. I mean, I like Chick-fil-A as much as the next person,
but I’m not sure how a $25 gift card makes up for a whole afternoon of chasing around a toddler who thinks glitter glue is a new form of edible art. But it gets weirder. When I turn her down, she says, “Okay, how about I throw in a couple of bags of your favorite candy too?
And I’ll stop eating your snacks behind your back for a whole month!” I’m pretty sure this was supposed to be some huge incentive, but all I could think was, “So you’ve been stealing my snacks and now you’re bribing me to watch your kid?”
I still said no, and now she’s acting like I’m the worst person on the planet, texting me that I’m “ruining family bonds” and that I’m “too busy for her and Lily.” And the rest of the family is all like, “You should just s**k it up and help her out.”
So, AITA for turning down a Chick-fil-A bribery scheme and refusing to babysit? Should I just let her pay me in fast food and sweets, or am I right to draw the line here?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
SummitJunkie7 − If you’re willing to do it for pay, then tell her your rate. If she can’t afford you, then she can’t. If you’re not willing to do it, even for pay, then just let her know that. Tell her you have no interest in babysitting and you don’t have the time.
As family you’ll help out in a *true emergency*, which means someone’s in the hospital or similar, not someone planned things poorly. There are so many ways to bond with your niece that have nothing to do with babysitting.
In fact, you may be better able to bond with her while not being an authority figure in her life. And, thank her for bringing to your attention that you need to secure your snacks, you’ll be sure not to leave those around where she can steal them in future.. NTA
Vivid-Farm6291 − NTA There is a story somewhere on reddit about this subject. It had a spectacular ending. The OP didn’t want to babysit anymore and family berated her because you know family helps family.
So the OP took it to heart and made a schedule of babysitting for all those relatives berating her for not stepping up. She gave the sister the schedule and she ran with it. Suddenly they were not so keen on helping family. So please if relatives or friends are telling you to step up, give your sister a list of names and numbers of all the volunteers.
Pillowprincess_222 − NTA. You can chase a kid when you have your own.
CharKrat − When she said that “you’re too busy for me and Lily” you should respond with… yeah sometimes I am but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you!
JohnRedcornMassage − NTA Anytime a family member tries to guilt you into helping her out, let them know you’re glad they’re volunteering, since family is so important and forward it to your sister. That should shut them up pretty quickly.
andronicuspark − It’s adorable she’s offering to partially pay you back in goods she stole from you.. What a gem. I’d point out her generosity and turn her down. If she resorts to paying you an amount you deem acceptable, get it up front and a retainer in case she’s late.
She shows up on time she gets that back. If not, oh well. But honestly, it sounds like she’s going to keep screwing you over.
debthemac − NTA. School and work are enough. And the family that is judging you should step up then.
pepperpat64 − Your sister should “just s**k it up” and not go out. Once people have kids, they have to give up many of the things they did before the kid came along. If you ever agree to babysit, charge a minimum of $25 per hour, paid in cash up front.
NUredditNU − Tell the rest of the family that they should just s**k it up & watch her or stfu. NTA
GovernmentBusiness − NTA. It’s not your kid anyway
Should family members be expected to provide free or minimally compensated childcare out of obligation? Is it fair to criticize someone for valuing their time and boundaries? what do you think? share your thoughts below!
