AITAH for reading a hurtful journal entry about my sister-in-law after my brother and his wife read my private journals?

Family secrets can be a dangerous game, especially when they’re laid bare in moments of emotional upheaval. Our OP, a 32‑year‑old man, trusted his private journals as a safe haven for his most heartfelt thoughts. Journaling, a practice he began in his youth, helped him process his emotions, yet he always kept these pages private.

Recently, while helping with moving and decluttering at his parents’ house, he discovered that his 39‑year‑old brother and his wife had been reading his journals—and laughing at one particular entry about his future sister‑in‑law. That entry, written nearly two decades ago, was a harsh, unfiltered critique of her character, and hearing it read aloud in a family setting was both painful and humiliating for him.

In a moment of raw emotion, he retrieved the journal and read that hurtful passage out loud, claiming that his negative view of her hadn’t changed. His actions sparked a family firestorm, with his brother accusing him of triggering his wife’s depression. Now, he wonders if he’s the asshole for exposing such private, hurtful words in front of his family.

‘AITAH for reading a hurtful journal entry about my sister-in-law after my brother and his wife read my private journals?’

Expert Opinion:

When personal feelings and family relationships collide, the fallout can be both emotionally and psychologically complex. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her insights on family dynamics and the importance of personal boundaries, explains, “Private journals serve as a therapeutic outlet and are not meant for public consumption.

When those private thoughts are forcibly shared, it can cause deep emotional wounds and lead to irreversible damage in personal relationships.” ([​kidshealth.org]) In this situation, the OP’s decision to read his hurtful journal entry aloud may be seen as a retaliatory act—an attempt to reclaim his sense of privacy after his trust was breached by his own family.

Dr. Durvasula further adds that, “Even if the content reflects genuine feelings, sharing it in a public or family setting can escalate conflicts rather than resolve underlying issues.” The OP’s intention was to make a point about his long‑held negative views regarding his sister‑in‑law’s character.

However, doing so in the heat of a confrontation, especially when the individual in question is already vulnerable (having been triggered by a prior invasion of privacy), can be seen as unnecessarily hurtful.

Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson notes, “In cases where personal grievances are aired publicly, it is crucial to consider the long-term implications on everyone’s mental health. Although the OP may have felt justified, such actions can deepen emotional scars and create lasting rifts.” Dr. Johnson emphasizes that while it is understandable to be upset when someone violates your privacy,

Using that as a basis for publicly humiliating a family member is rarely productive. Instead, she suggests that private conversations or mediated counseling could have been a healthier way to address the betrayal without causing further harm.

Thus, while the OP’s feelings of betrayal are completely valid, his choice to read a hurtful journal entry aloud in a public family setting appears to be a counterproductive expression of anger. The expert consensus would likely lean toward viewing his actions as an overreaction—a choice that, rather than healing old wounds, may have reopened them, potentially doing lasting damage to family relationships.

Check out how the community responded:

Many redditors sympathize with the OP’s sense of betrayal, arguing that having your private journal read without consent is a significant violation of trust. They agree that the act itself is hurtful and that the OP’s emotional response is understandable.

Ultimately, the OP’s decision to read his hurtful journal entry aloud in a family setting reflects a deep sense of betrayal and a desperate attempt to reclaim his privacy after a significant breach. While many understand his anger at having his personal thoughts exposed, most agree that publicly humiliating someone—even if it’s to make a point—can lead to further emotional damage.

Was this act a justified response to a violation of privacy, or did it cross the line into unnecessary cruelty? What would you do if you discovered your private journal had been read aloud by your own family? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?